Posted in life

Loss and Moving on

There are all types of loss. Some, like the loss of child, stay with you forever. You may get through it but your never get over it. And knowing people who have been through that nightmare, I’m embarrassed to talk about my loss. Which by comparison is small, unimportant. But I’ve learned in counseling that comparing does no one any good. Now we all know how important it is not to compare our lives with others, but I think most of us think of it terms of good things. As in their life is going better than mine, their house is bigger, she is prettier etc. But we can deny ourselves the opportunity to work through our own loss, no matter how insignificant it may seem to others.

That was me. My friend had lost her daughter in a tragic car accident involving a drunk driver. I had been through a heart breaking and life altering divorce. I told myself my loss was unimportant and I should be thankful for my life.

The thing is I beat myself up every time I felt depressed because of my situation because I told myself I didn’t have the right to be sad and heartbroken. I mean no one died. I spent the next few years buried in a deep depression which came close to costing me my own life. God must have been with me that fateful day because I am still here.

I still feel my loss everyday. Not all day, but a day doesn’t go by that I don’t feel twinge of what if. Most days it lasts for a split second but every now and then it’ll come and stay with me for the entire day. I do my best.

The one loss I haven’t been able to work through is my loss of interest in life in general. I used to have so many things I was interested in. I liked to sew, read, write, learn French, entertain, take photos and learn new things. Now I come home after work and sit on my sofa until bedtime. Then I repeat it the next day. On the weekend, I do the same but I manage church and a quick stop for a few groceries.

I’m worried if I can’t shake this apathy, my severe depression will return. Is there a prayer because I’ve been praying for years and little has changed.

Author:

I am always learning something new about life. My life is made richer by friends, family, travel, experiences and books.

One thought on “Loss and Moving on

  1. Everyone is different and what helps with one doesn’t always help with another. What scriptures catch your attention? If there are verses that just resonate with you then use them in your prayer life. Ps. 23 is a favorite of so many, but it speaks on some many levels. Yea thought I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for Thou art with me. Although I am in this dark place I know YOU are here with me so I will trust YOU. Just a reminder that HE never leaves you; you are not alone…so important to think about. My last bout of anxiety and depression I discovered my body was low in vit. D3. My doctor prescribed 1000mg of vit D3 daily. What a difference! Sometimes your body needs a boost, the same as your spirit man. Check yourself out physically and find those scriptures that minister God’s life and love to you. Don’t give up…it will all pass and you will be stronger for it.

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