I used to take care of myself. I made certain I looked my best most days. I exercised. I watched what I ate. Unlike many women who lose their appetite post divorce, I couldn’t seem to eat enough. I stopped exercising and had a steady diet of junk food. I always took care of myself to please my ex-husband. I worried he’d leave me if I didn’t live up to his expectations. Imagine my surprise when I discovered it didn’t matter. I was looking better than I had in ten years and he left. And with it, my desire for self care walked out too.
Now 4.5 years later, I’m ready to take care of myself but finding the strength to take the first few steps seems overwhelming. 30 pounds needs to go for health reasons. I know exercise is an antidepressant and will help keep the demons away. I also know how I feel about myself is directly related to how connected each link in my circle is. Each thing needs to be connected to the other.
Link One: Me time-it’s okay to make an effort to look attractive. It says I love myself.
Link Two: Exercise makes me feel strong and when I feel strong, my confidence grows.
Link Three: When I feel healthy, I look better and feel better.
Link Four: Creative time- whether I’m writing or sewing or reading, I find it nourishes my soul. And when my soul is being fed, I feel happier.
Link Five: Don’t isolate myself. It’s been easy to do but being with people is key to me feeling better.
Now all I have to do is find the willpower to take those first few steps to begin rebuilding my links of strength.
Another horrible terroist attack took place yesterday in Manchester, UK. Innocent lives were lost because of a misguided soul who lived everyday in darkness.
And in the dark, perverse and evil forces trained his brain to stop thinking. They programmed it to do what they themselves are too cowardly to do.
And in the dark you have no hope. You can’t see the people waiting to help you. You can’t imagine a life with light because you’ve been in the darkness for so long.
We can’t let those souls stay in the darkness of evil or there will be more attacks. We must spare a kind word, a smile, hope to each person who crosses our path.
The light shines in the darkness. But the darkness hasn’t overcome the light. John 1:5
Above is a photo of the Ethan Allen hall table I purchased at a resale shop for $85. Little did I know stopping at the new resale shop around the corner would turn out not to be a random choice I made.
I clicked with the owner right away. We chatted for over 45 minutes. After I made sure the table would fit, I called back and said I wanted the table.
Yesterday I stopped again to look at a small side table. Unfortunately it has sold but we began to chat again. And before I knew it this woman and her husband were praying over me. No one has ever prayed over me in my 57 years. Standing in a circle of three, hearing ‘Lord lift her up, remind her Lord you have better days planned for her’ and many more words of love, I left the store choking back tears.
As much as I love my new ‘used’ table, I believe there was divine intervention and the table was just used to get me inside to meet these wonderful people.