Posted in life

Seasons of Life

Posted on by Dede

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

Top l to r 5 yrs – 22 yrs bottom l to r 65yrs – 46 yrs

Significant events always make me stop and I either take joy in what my life has been or I lament over what my life hasn’t been.

I often think of the song from the musical Rent, Seasons of Love. 525,600 minutes each year. They are deposited in our bank of time and once it’s spent there are no more deposits until Jan 1 of the following year. Once a moment has happened it is gone forever.

Seasons of Love is exactly how I view my life. The love of great-grandparents who shared their garden and help make many wonderful memories. The pain of leaving friends behind when your family moves. The love of a first boyfriend, a most exciting time, which holds such sweet memories. Followed by marriage and the happiness that immediately follows but doesn’t necessarily last.

The season of motherly love for your children. It’s best expressed by this “ having children is like watching your heart walk around in the world.”

Then the shift from a hands-on mother to a behind the scene mother to adult children. They don’t need you often but you’re always there if they do need you.

Then the heartbreak of the love you thought would last forever when it didn’t. Learning to love your new life and succeeding.

A son-in-law and grandkids arrive and love grows exponentially.

Introduce bonus grandkids and now my heart nearly fits inside my chest.

So my life is broken down into Seasons of Love.

And as I age, taking joy in one day is so important. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed and yesterday is gone and won’t return. Today is the most important time.

Posted in life

Retire

Posted on by Dede

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I am scared to retire. Not having an earned income scares me. I have enough money to retire but it still scares me to retire. Would I have a purpose? How would I fill my days? Who would hug me and tell me they love me? (I am a nanny to 3 wonderful children). What if the stock market crashes? Would my depression return? Would the kids forget who I am?

If I win a massive amount of money which gave me the freedom to do anything I wanted, I would consider retiring but I couldn’t guarantee I would.

Posted in life

Lottery winnings

Posted on by Dede

What would you do if you won the lottery?

I grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada. You learned very early that the odds are in favor of the house. I mean, look at the strip. It is built on the money people leave behind.

People confuse lotteries and raffles. They think someone has to win the lottery and this is false. No one ever has to win the lottery. The pot can continue to grow. There’s never a guaranteed winner ever.

However, with a raffle you buy one or more tickets in a specified time frame. Then a ticket is drawn, and whoever’s name and number is on the ticket wins. There is always a guaranteed winner with a raffle. And I won one in December at a Church preschool raffle, which raised money for preschool. All of the raffle prizes were given away.

I rarely buy a lottery ticket, but I know the first thing I would do if I ever won. I would call a tax attorney ASAP.

Posted in life

2026 vs 2021 storm

Posted on by Dede

All week we’ve been preparing for a bad ice storm. It is definitely cold and there is a combination of sleet and ice on the hard surfaces. My grass has virtually no ice or sleet. I have not lost power which is a blessing.

5 years ago, I don’t remember all the warnings about a storm. Nor do I remember all the suggestions of preparation. I had just returned from a trip and at the last minute I decided to go to the grocery store. It’s a good thing I did.

That night I lost power and was without power for 5 days. I manually opened by garage door to turn on my car to charge my phone and a wheel came off the track. I could not close the door and therefore it remained opened for the rest of the deep freeze.

A very kind friend had her neighborhood (who has chains on his suv) come to my house to bring wood and hot food. Fortunately I had battery operated lanterns for light at night. A neighbor on the opposite side of the street had power and she had me down for a hot dinner.

Most of the time I sat piled under a fleece robe, blankets, and my cat to stay warm. Power finally came back on.

It’s not the coldest weather I’ve ever experienced but it was certainly the loneliest cold weather experience.

Posted in life

Lost Leisure Time

Posted on by Dede

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

I’m actually not sure. I’ve spent the last 9.5 years caring for a family’s children so I’ve spent a lot of time playing games, reading stories, going to the library and park. We’ve visited most child friendly sites within an hour of where we live. We cook and bake cupcakes, cookies and other yummy things. We do art projects and nature projects.

So in a way my entire day has been spent doing leisurely things. With the kids in school full time and one going half days, I’ve struggled to find leisurely things to do. Mostly I read or write letters. I love getting snail mail. There is nothing better than holding a letter in your hand and reading the words of a loved one.

As the younger one approaches full time school, I’ll need to figure out how to fill my days.

Posted in life

First Name Struggle

Posted on by Dede

Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.

My legal first name is Daphna. It is not Daphne. I was named after my grandmother who loved her name. She was named after the Jewish wife of a football coach.

Daphna is the Hebrew version of Daphne. Daphne was a Greek nymph. Cupid shot Apollo with an arrow and he fell in love with Daphne. She didn’t want to marry but have a free life like Diana the Huntress. She called to her father the river and he turned her into a Laurel tree.

Apollo being devastated to find her rooted to the ground, chose laurel leaves to make a wreath which would be the symbol of victory.

When I learned this story in 8th grade, I was thrilled. I had suffered horrible teasing due to my name and I hated my name. Of course this made my grandmother mad, but I was 13 and didn’t care. I just wanted a normal name like Michelle or Beth.

We lived with my grandmother when I was a toddler. Having two Daphnas in the house didn’t work. So my mother nicknamed me Dede, (All my initials were D). I am now 66 and have always gone by Dede.

Names can definitely help form your personality. And I know if I had had a name which wasn’t constantly mispronounced, misspelled, made fun of, I’d have had a better time of it. Imagine always being asked are you sure your name isn’t Daphne?

Posted in life

The Mess before the Reward

Posted on by Dede
Part of the Meas

Realizing a move was not financially possible, I decided to do updates to my home. While I had done some updates, my kitchen cabinets are in a bad way.

I took it upon myself to paint them a few years ago. At first they looked good but over time they became worn. I priced getting all new cabinets and counters. It was out of my price range. How do I update them without breaking the bank.?

I am getting new cabinet doors and having the bases and new doors painted. I’ll get a new updated look without spending $25,000 or more.

However I failed to realize I would need to remove every single thing from my kitchen. Now my kitchen isn’t large but it’s amazing how much stuff one can stash.

I do not do well in chaos. Some people thrive on it, but I need order. My daughter told me that when your space is a mess it can affect your brain and make your brain feel unsettled. So right now I’m living in a mess and it’s going to get worse as I haven’t even emptied all the cabinets.

What type of environment do you thrive in? An orderly space? A space which shows something is happening? Or an over the top mess full of creativity?

Everything should be completed by next weekend. Which means I know next weekend I’ll be spending my time putting everything back. Will it be like Christmas when you can never fit everything back into the boxes? I hope not.

Posted in life

Wide open Spaces

Posted on by Dede

Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.

Boerne, TX

I live in Central Texas. Nothing is close to home. Everywhere I look there are wide open spaces so I actually had to look at a map to find towns nearby. Boerne is 2.5 hours away so not near but also not far. It does sound like a fun weekend stop.

Attractions in Boerne, Texas

Natural Wonders

  • Cascade Caverns: Explore underground formations on a guided tour. The caverns feature unique wildlife and a gift shop.
  • Cave Without a Name: Known for stunning stalactites and stalagmites, this cave offers well-lit trails and is open year-round.
  • Cibolo Nature Center: A 100-acre area with diverse ecosystems and hiking trails. It hosts a weekly farmers market at Herff Farm.
  • Guadalupe River State Park: Offers activities like canoeing, fishing, and hiking along the riverfront.

Parks and Recreation

  • Boerne City Lake Park: A scenic area for fishing, picnicking, and hiking. Kayak rentals are available.
  • James Kiehl River Bend Park: Features trails and river access for outdoor activities.

Shopping and Dining

  • Main Street (Hill Country Mile): A charming shopping district with boutiques, antique shops, and eateries. Notable spots include the Dienger Trading Company for lunch and unique artisan shops.
  • Local Breweries: Enjoy craft beers at several breweries within walking distance on Main Street.

Cultural and Historical Sites

  • AgriCultural Museum and Arts Center: Showcases the history of agriculture in the region with various exhibits and events.
  • Old Jail Museum: Offers a glimpse into the local history and heritage.

These attractions provide a mix of outdoor adventure, shopping, and cultural experiences, making Boerne a delightful destination for visitors. tourtexas.com texastraveltalk.com

So maybe one day I’ll make it to Boerne.

Posted in life

What? I can’t even list 2

Posted on by Dede

List five things you do for fun.

Sadly I can only list one and that is eating chocolate, but I’m happy this question was asked . I’ve never thought about what I do for fun. In fact I don’t I’ve ever thought about and now it’s time I do.

Posted in life

Nothing

Posted on by Dede

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?

I don’t remember being attached to anything growing up. We didn’t have much and we moved several times between 1969 and 1974. There were no electronic devices then. I did have a radio for my room but it wasn’t special.

I had an old used bike that was too big for me so it wasn’t special. I had no jewelry.

I do remember as a teen reading Gone with the Wind. It was a birthday gift. I remember crying really more sobbing when Scarlett ended up alone. I gave that book to my daughter.

Posted in life

Everything and Nothing

Posted on by Dede

What could you do differently?

If I were to list what I could do differently it would be a never ending list because who lives a perfect life? Certainly not me.

My life, right now, is pretty good. I love my job. I make enough to support myself. I am making new friends and I’m getting more involved in church.

I had a major upheaval 13 years ago which followed many heartaches. It has taken me several years to find an even keel. Having experienced this life altering episode, change has been put on the back burner for me.

However with the advent of 2026, I’ve decided to step outside my comfort zone and begin by making small changes. There won’t be huge changes like moving to a different state or changing jobs, but small changes which will inspire me and encourage me to continue to grow.

The first change of 2026? The boys and I moved my living room furniture around. My living area is small and I thought there was only one option. Brainstorming, a new possibility was found. I love the new layout and while this is a small change, it does make my home feel refreshed.

So in 2026, there will be changes and some things will stay the same. Small refreshes for me.

Posted in life

Past or Future

Posted on by Dede

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

20 years ago

If you had asked me this question 10 years ago I’d say I thought about the past more. I was still hurting from my divorce. Rehashing all the wrong done to me and looking inward to figure out where I’d gone wrong, occupied most of my time. Fortunately one day, I realized this was getting me nowhere.

So began the time I hyper focused on the future. Would I ever own a home again? Would I ever find a job? I’d been unemployed for 3 years post divorce and was running out of money. Would I ever be happy again? Would I forever be alone again? Many questions plagued my mind. Then one day I realized just like focusing on the past, focusing on the future was getting me nowhere.

So I let the past go and gave the future to God. I began to focus on today, the here and now. While I can’t completely control today, I can organize and plan my life for that 24 hours. Only thinking about the right now, let’s me enjoy the moments, solve any problems that arise and continue to only plan the things I can control like spending, housework, time at work, time with friends etc.

Letting the past go and giving God the future has been a great thing.

Posted in life

University learning

Posted on by Dede

What colleges have you attended?

I went to the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. I lived at home and worked the entire 5 years until I graduated.

Unlv.edu

When I went to UNLV it had about 5,500 students. It now has over 33,000 enrolled students. Its hospitality program is one of the best in the country.

I also went to the Institut de Touraine. It’s a language school located in Tours, France. There were students from all over the world enrolled.

Institut de Touraine

I was there 3 months. They offered separate tours and cooking classes. I lived in a small studio apartment.

I’ve also attended a couple of community colleges in the Dallas area and I attended Alliance Française in Dallas for a couple years.

I am someone who loves to learn and I believe I’ll be learning until the day I die.

Posted in life

Red to Blue

Posted on by Dede

How have your political views changed over time?

It was a simple switch for me. When Donald Trump ran for president in 2016, I became a democrat. His words were taken almost verbatim from Hitler. I feared for our freedoms.

There was the short salvation of Biden, as flawed as many believed him to be. But now as Trump finishes the first year of his second term all my worst dreams have come true.

So again it was a simple switch for me. Do I love the U.S. and the freedoms I have enjoyed or do I want a life under a dictator? I had no trouble answering that question.

Posted in life

1964 1/2 Ford Mustang

Posted on by Dede

What is your all time favorite automobile?

1965 Mustang

This was my first car. My dad actually said it was a 1964 1/2 because it was one of the first 500 made. It was all original. The hub caps, interior with lap belts and a powerful air conditioning system were exactly as if it was new off the factory floor. My dad paid $250 for it.

This is the car which I drove when I turned 16. It was a fun and fast car. I loved it and it holds very fond memories for me.

What you must understand is that I turned 16 in 1975 so the car was just 10 years old. Too new to be a collector car and too old to be super cool like a TransAm or Camero. I had to give it up when my sister turned 16 two years later. At that time, I drove the big, gold Chevy station wagon and that definitely wasn’t cool.

There are many experiences I’d like to have again and driving this car is one of them.

Posted in life

Christ and a Teacher

Posted on by Dede

Who are the biggest influences in your life?

As you know from my last post, I don’t have really any great mentors or supporters in my life. But in 7th grade I decided to take French. Monsieur Giberteau was my teacher. He seemed ancient to me then but was probably in his 50s. (Oh to be 50 again).

He loved his language and culture. His enthusiasm and requirements meant you could not slack in his class. We had to memorize dialogues each week, know verbs for every person as in I, you, he/she, we, they in multiple tenses.

I loved every minute of his class and I learned with effort I would succeed. This in turn has created my life long love affair with the French language. Living in a state where English and Spanish are used equally, I rarely speak French. But I continue on because you never know I might need it someday.

And of course Christ is a huge influence in my life, the biggest one. I wouldn’t have survived my life if he wasn’t at the center of it. I spent some time angry at God and my girls said it’s okay, God is patient and will wait for you. I still seek him everyday.

Posted in life

Absolutely not

Posted on by Dede

Are you a good judge of character?

I wish I could say I am a good judge of character but I am not. Throughout my life most, not all, of my friends have been mean to me. One copied my report in middle school and accused me of stealing her work. In high school my friends had the chance to vote for me to represent our drill team in a competition and voted for the other candidate. For a secret Santa, a friend whom I am still friends with, gave me a playboy centerfold. She wrote on it the boobs you always wanted.

As an adult I had what I thought was a close friend but she would routinely cancel plans so she could go with other friends. She was one of those women who could criticize you in the middle of a compliment. I learned mean girls grow into mean women. I played bunco, a silly dice game with the same women for 15 years. The organizer would say rude and mean things to me. I ignored them but they still hurt.

A long time friend criticized me the entire time we were on a trip together. Ignored me so she could take calls from an abusive boyfriend, made comments about my weight and the way I ate. She has no children and has repeatedly told me how to deal with my adult children. I would never dream of telling her how to run her business.

And of course the thorn at the top of my list is my ex-husband. He cheated on me for 30 years which included being wanted by the police for public masturbation and peeping on college girls, using prostitutes and watching r@PE pornography. Always making me feel like it was my fault he did these things and always promising to stop.

Before anyone says no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, that is not true. It depends on the conditioning you received growing up. Having an insult in the middle of a compliment, Ignoring your successes or making you feel bad when you do succeed, Not receiving praise for a big award but being told your own parent didn’t think you’d win. Being made to feel bad because I was smart and inquisitive. I walked into that marriage ripe for abuse.

So I am not a good judge of character. I still struggle and have basically withdrawn from any relationships because it’s too painful to deal with.

Posted in life

2024-2025??

Posted on by Dede

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

Thumbs.Dreamtime.com

It’s been so long since I’ve actually thought ahead and planned my future, there isn’t a list of what I wanted from 2024-2025. Planning stopped in 2013.

Looking forward is something I really need to do again. For the most part, focusing on one day at a time has been what I’ve done.

I used to be a planner and it worked great while my children were growing up. Now as adults they roll their eyes and say, “Mom I have no idea of what I’ll be doing in 3 months or six months or even next year”. When my divorce happened I learned life doesn’t always go according to plans, therefore I stopped planning.

I see now that was wrong. While living in the moment is my utmost goal, looking forward to the future with anticipation and excitement is important too.

My life has not changed much from a year ago. However I’ve lost weight and lowered my blood sugar. I’ve read 20 more books this year than I did last year 50 vs 70 books.

With 2026 knocking on the door, refusing to go away as I ignore it, it’s time to make a vision board. I’ve done that in the past and it worked well. 2026 I’ll be ready for you.

Posted in life

Always learning

Posted on by Dede

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

Market in Bordeaux

I have been working on expanding my French skills. This means daily practice but unfortunately I don’t have anyone near me who speaks French. But alas, I will not be dissuaded from learning French as impractical as it may be in Texas.

This prompt made me realize I have not really learned anything new in quite awhile. I used to seek out new learning opportunities on a regular basis but for the last few years I’ve been remiss.

2026 will see a change in that. I don’t set new year resolutions but I can set goals. I like to break them down into steps. Organization and purging of no longer needed items is at the top of my list. Once this is done I can learn new sewing skills, writing skills, and try some more difficult baking and cooking recipes, also seek out an adventure

I’ll continue leaning French vocabulary but add new skills along the way. I believe we only stop learning when we die.

Posted in life

Thoughtful kindness

Posted on by Dede

Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.

I hope people say I am thoughtful and kind, always trying to make everyone feel comfortable.