Category: life

Posted in life

Wish for all

Posted on by Dede

What is your favorite quote?

“Blemishes on the beauty of a person one loves are like grace notes adding something to a piece of music.”

— Winston Graham

We live in a society that promotes and expects perfection in body and face, especially in women. Botox, plastic surgery, laser treatments, fillers, lip fillers, GLP-1, diets, exercise etc.

But is perfection something we should strive for? If we erase wrinkles, stretch marks, if we were all the same size, lips all overfilled so we look like ducks, faces pulled, frozen faces, mommy makeovers would that be better?

A grace note is a type of musical ornamentation that is usually printed smaller than regular notes and serves as a brief embellishment before a principal note.

And imperfections are the grace notes for us. God made us each unique and original. No one should look the same. We should embrace the fact we are different. We should embrace aging and not erase our life with treatments.

I struggle with aging and sometimes I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I tried Botox post divorce. I was 53 and didn’t want to look old but I need to remember Growing old is a privilege not everyone gets. Embrace our difference and embrace aging.

**Quote from the Poldark book series book 5 the Black Moon. Ross is speaking to his wife Demelza.

Posted in life

Simple sewing

Posted on by Dede

What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?

Hemming pants, dress, skirt

Sewing on a button

So simple but most people don’t have a clue nor do they want to learn

Posted in life

Demelza Carne Poldark

Posted on by Dede

If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?

I would be Demelza Carne Poldark. She is my favorite character from all the books I have read and I am an avid reader.

She is beautiful but most importantly she is strong, stands up for herself, is eager to learn, compassionate, kind and forgiving.

When she holds no ill will against Francis, Ross’s cousin, for destroying their business and making them practically destitute, and goes to their home to care for them when everyone in town is ill with the putrid throat, that is forgiveness at its best.

Demelza gets ill, almost dies and her daughter does dies but again she holds not resentment.

I love her.

Posted in life

Born with Desire

Posted on by Dede

What’s a movie or book that inspired you to travel?

I don’t remember ever moment in my life that I didn’t have a desire to travel. As I’ve said before I took one of those 13 countries and six week bus trips when I was in college.

I have read books that have inspired me to travel to certain places. I read a series of books about a Norwegian family that settled in the Dakotas back in the 1800s and wanted to go to Norway of course Bruno chief of police series by Martin Walker inspired me to go to the Perigord region of France.

I read the outlander books and that inspired me to go to Scotland.

I personally just love to travel, and I love to travel to places that are rich in history.

Posted in life

70’s fashions

Posted on by Dede

If you could erase one trend from history, what would it be?

Short short, mini skirts, jeans that fits so tight you had to lay on the bed to zip them up, low-cut jeans with giant bellbottoms in crazy fabric, floppy hats, men’s shirts unbuttoned to their abdomen with gold chains wrapped around their neck, big bushy mustaches, so many more that I can’t even remember.

Posted in life

I’m bad

Posted on by Dede

What’s one habit that has improved your life the most?

Habits, I tend to gain bad habits and never good ones. I try but because I struggle with depression that lifts and then returns like a big wave, my good habits don’t last long.

Journaling is probably helped me the most. I do my best to write only positive things but sometimes I have to write out how I feel.

Posted in life

Not just one

Posted on by Dede

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

More than one place would be my answer. I’d like to live near my daughters, one in PA and one in Southern CA. I’d also like to have a place in the Dordogne region of France. From there I could easily explore Europe and improve my language skills.

With retirement available to me at anytime beginning in August, I’ve begun to think about what will I do.

I only came to one conclusion. I don’t think even after 10 years in this town, I’ll feel its home. Home is where your heart is and clearly mine is in PA and CA.

Posted in choices, daily prompt, depression, divorce, Experience, life

Chaos

Posted on by Dede

Is a little chaos actually good for us?

Hmm interesting question because I’ve never had a perfectly calm life. There have been small parts that have gone smoothly but just when I think all is well there is a hiccup. Most of the times the hiccups are small but periodically something comes along and knocks you for a loop.

Because of my ex husband’s behavior I I was in constant turmoil. My chest would grow tight, a knot would form in my stomach and I lived like I was in an emotional torture chamber. I never had a peaceful night of sleep. It got worse when the police called the house looking for him. The detective told me in a very condescending tone, “you don’t know your husband.” Needless to say I was in a state of panic and the remnants remain today. I lived a kind of internal chaos everyday.

Chaos may make us appreciate the smooth times when they come but after having lived the way I did, I would prefer no chaos.

Posted in Blogging, fear, Fun, life, vacation

Followed my gut

Posted on by Dede

What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right?

When I was in university I saw a poster for a group trip to Europe. I think it was 13 countries in six weeks. We would meet in London.

I worked and saved while everyone told me it was a fake poster and I’d regret my decision. I’d lose money. I did what little research was available because this was many years before the internet.

My parents took me to LAX and from there I flew to London. I had paid extra for some London excursions.

Being brave enough to go alone and join a group, knowing no one, was one of the best things I ever did. I went to countries that now no longer exist. I have lifetime memories that have the ability to look at the world from different perspectives.

So happy I didn’t listen to the naysayers and trusted my gut.

Posted in life

Parents know everything

Posted on by Dede

What’s something you used to believe as a kid that seems ridiculous now?

As I child I believed my parents had all the answers to any question I asked. And if you ask my mother she will tell you I asked millions of questions. She will tell also you she couldn’t answer most of them, because I was an exceptionally inquisitive child.

I was an adult before I realized my parents didn’t have all the answers. How did I come to this realization? I had extraordinary daughters who asked many questions and I was positive I didn’t have all the answers.

In one way it’s a disappointment to realize your parents aren’t perfect but it’s also a relief because you no longer have to strive to be perfect.

Posted in life

Unoriginal Change to a A Book

Posted on by Dede

If you could change the ending of any book, which one would it be?

I think my answer is probably unoriginal. I read Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell when I was 16 years old. I had little perspective on life, so my focus was on the love story and not the sin and shame of slavery.

I would have Rhett turn around and return to Scarlett. Her heart longed to be loved and only Rhett could love her the way she needed to be loved. And in turn Rhett longed to be loved too and Scarlett was the only woman who could love him completely.

As I said unoriginal answer but it’s simple. Doesn’t everyone want a happy ending?

Posted in life

Happiness

Posted on by Dede

What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?

I heard once happiness is based on happenings, so it is always contingent on what is going on in your life. If you have difficult days then happiness suffers. And if you have a difficult year then happiness is fleeting.

However joy is based on deeper things, most importantly your relationship with Christ. Because while your circumstances may change, God never changes. You know you are not alone and will never be alone.

I’ll admit I have first hand knowledge of basing happiness on your circumstances. If you never have struggles or heartaches or sad days then keep basing happiness on the happenings in your life. But if you are like the rest of us and have difficult days, or weeks, or months, or years, it’s imperative you find your source of joy.

I let my divorce steal 4 years of my life that I can never get back. All I could see was how much my life has changed, focusing only on the negative aspects. Then one day my heart was introduced to a very little boy and everything began to change.

I realized I had never been alone. The Lord had a plan all along for me and for my greater joy. I had only been focusing on insignificant and transient things while He was focused on eternity.

Now I base my happiness on the never changing, always loving Lord, knowing He will always be with me in hard times and good times. It’s my job to trust and joy will come. And joy is deeper and more satisfying than unpredictable happiness.

Posted in life

English and Français

Posted on by Dede

Which languages do you speak and how did that impact your life?

I am a native English speaker and I’m very saddened to know America doesn’t encourage or promote learning another language. In reading the prompts most native English speakers speak only English unless they grew up in a dual language household. One language gives you only one way to see things. And honestly, while I make grammatical errors, the quality of English spoken in America gets worse and worse everyday.

A professor told me speaking another language lets you see the world through different eyes. I have always remembered his words.

Where I live I need to speak Spanish. Half of my grandkids’ school are Spanish speakers and many are enrolled in English as a second language. I’d love to take a course but can’t find one that works with my work schedule

At the age of eleven I started learning French in school. I stopped at the age of 14.5 yrs old. Entering college I started the language journey again and took French classes for three years. I wanted to study abroad but my dad said we couldn’t afford it. He said pick a major and graduate. I’ve regretted not finding a way to go abroad because honestly I think I would have returned upon graduation and stayed abroad.

As an adult I began again at the Alliance Français in Dallas. For my 40th birthday, I spent a week at a language school. And post divorce I spent 3 months at a language school. I watch French tv, movies and do language apps on my phone. I do not speak fluently and need people to speak slowly so I can understand them. However my love affair with the French language continues.

J’ai une belle vie. ❤️

Posted in life

Winston Graham

Posted on by Dede

What’s a book, movie, or TV show that you wish you could experience again for the first time?

I wish I could experience the Poldark series for the first time. The words of Winston Graham are so melodic and sweeping. I could feel the wind on my face and the vast expanse of the sea. The landscape of Cornwall was a character as much as Ross and Demelza.

Ross, a member of the landed gentry with no money has recently returned from the American Revolution to find his beloved, Elizabeth, is now engaged to his rich cousin, Francis.

Ross saves a young girl, Demelza, by taking her as a kitchen maid. And from there the story grows. Love, betrayal, greed, kindness, forgiveness, etc. it has it all. And of course there is always a nemesis, George Warleggan.

Demelza is my favorite character ever written. She embodies kindness and love.

If you have a chance to read this book series, do it.

Posted in life

Colonize Mars

Posted on by Dede

Do you think humans will ever colonize Mars? What would life there actually look like?

I don’t have an answer. If you had asked a 1st century citizen if people could fly someday or land on the moon, I’m sure they would have said no. than burned you at the stake.

If you asked people dying of a disease that is now curable because of penicillin, would they have dreamed it was possible? They may have hoped but concretely believed I doubt it.

Expect for marvelous scientists who spend countless hours delving into the minutiae of what many of us would consider mundane to find a cure for a disease or explain why something cataclysmic happened, most of us don’t have the fortitude and patience needed to answer most of life’s questions.

Will we colonize Mars, I hope not. We can’t seem to respect and care for the planet we currently inhabit. No reason to go and destroy another one.

Posted in life

Meme?

Posted on by Dede

What’s your favorite meme?

I don’t look at memes.

Posted in life

That’s Easy

Posted on by Dede

What’s a cultural tradition from another country that you wish existed in yours?

The ability to leave work and worries behind like they do in France. They truly have a joie de vivre that has been lost in the USA. It’s all about money, competition, looks, staying young and so many more things here.

I want to leave all of that behind and embrace life.

Posted in life

Not one

Posted on by Dede

What’s the one luxury you can’t live without?

I don’t believe there is one luxury I can’t live without. As long as I can love and be loved, that’s all the luxury I need.

That being said, I do fly to see my daughters and grandkids. As I still work I do not have six days required for a round trip car ride to see them. Sadly they live on opposite coasts.

Posted in life

3 things

Posted on by Dede

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

A relationship with God

Good health

Love

Posted in life

Hate my name

Posted on by Dede

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?
You mean Daphne right?
No it’s Daphna.

I do not like my name. I have never liked my name. My mother told me she was guilted into naming me Daphna. I was named after my grandmother. People always think I get my own name wrong.

I loved my grandmother but she was bitter and unhappy. The only time I saw her truly happy was when she was around my nephew. She had a son who tragically died before he was two and this new baby boy was special. Every time she was around him, her entire demeanor and facial expressions changed.

I was given the nickname Dede when I was around 18 months old and have been Dede ever since. But I have often wondered if I could choose my own name what would it be and would it make me a different person.

Studies have been done about the importance of a name and how it shapes you.

I think I’d want something that could have a nickname so I could be more than one person. Charlotte, Liliane, Esmé, so many possibilities.

I’ve always thought it would be fun to ask people who don’t know me what they think my name is. That would be interesting.

https://www.sciencefocus.com/wellbeing/surprising-way-your-name-shapes-life