It was a simple switch for me. When Donald Trump ran for president in 2016, I became a democrat. His words were taken almost verbatim from Hitler. I feared for our freedoms.
There was the short salvation of Biden, as flawed as many believed him to be. But now as Trump finishes the first year of his second term all my worst dreams have come true.
So again it was a simple switch for me. Do I love the U.S. and the freedoms I have enjoyed or do I want a life under a dictator? I had no trouble answering that question.
This was my first car. My dad actually said it was a 1964 1/2 because it was one of the first 500 made. It was all original. The hub caps, interior with lap belts and a powerful air conditioning system were exactly as if it was new off the factory floor. My dad paid $250 for it.
This is the car which I drove when I turned 16. It was a fun and fast car. I loved it and it holds very fond memories for me.
What you must understand is that I turned 16 in 1975 so the car was just 10 years old. Too new to be a collector car and too old to be super cool like a TransAm or Camero. I had to give it up when my sister turned 16 two years later. At that time, I drove the big, gold Chevy station wagon and that definitely wasn’t cool.
There are many experiences I’d like to have again and driving this car is one of them.
As you know from my last post, I don’t have really any great mentors or supporters in my life. But in 7th grade I decided to take French. Monsieur Giberteau was my teacher. He seemed ancient to me then but was probably in his 50s. (Oh to be 50 again).
He loved his language and culture. His enthusiasm and requirements meant you could not slack in his class. We had to memorize dialogues each week, know verbs for every person as in I, you, he/she, we, they in multiple tenses.
I loved every minute of his class and I learned with effort I would succeed. This in turn has created my life long love affair with the French language. Living in a state where English and Spanish are used equally, I rarely speak French. But I continue on because you never know I might need it someday.
And of course Christ is a huge influence in my life, the biggest one. I wouldn’t have survived my life if he wasn’t at the center of it. I spent some time angry at God and my girls said it’s okay, God is patient and will wait for you. I still seek him everyday.
I wish I could say I am a good judge of character but I am not. Throughout my life most, not all, of my friends have been mean to me. One copied my report in middle school and accused me of stealing her work. In high school my friends had the chance to vote for me to represent our drill team in a competition and voted for the other candidate. For a secret Santa, a friend whom I am still friends with, gave me a playboy centerfold. She wrote on it the boobs you always wanted.
As an adult I had what I thought was a close friend but she would routinely cancel plans so she could go with other friends. She was one of those women who could criticize you in the middle of a compliment. I learned mean girls grow into mean women. I played bunco, a silly dice game with the same women for 15 years. The organizer would say rude and mean things to me. I ignored them but they still hurt.
A long time friend criticized me the entire time we were on a trip together. Ignored me so she could take calls from an abusive boyfriend, made comments about my weight and the way I ate. She has no children and has repeatedly told me how to deal with my adult children. I would never dream of telling her how to run her business.
And of course the thorn at the top of my list is my ex-husband. He cheated on me for 30 years which included being wanted by the police for public masturbation and peeping on college girls, using prostitutes and watching r@PE pornography. Always making me feel like it was my fault he did these things and always promising to stop.
Before anyone says no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, that is not true. It depends on the conditioning you received growing up. Having an insult in the middle of a compliment, Ignoring your successes or making you feel bad when you do succeed, Not receiving praise for a big award but being told your own parent didn’t think you’d win. Being made to feel bad because I was smart and inquisitive. I walked into that marriage ripe for abuse.
So I am not a good judge of character. I still struggle and have basically withdrawn from any relationships because it’s too painful to deal with.
It’s been so long since I’ve actually thought ahead and planned my future, there isn’t a list of what I wanted from 2024-2025. Planning stopped in 2013.
Looking forward is something I really need to do again. For the most part, focusing on one day at a time has been what I’ve done.
I used to be a planner and it worked great while my children were growing up. Now as adults they roll their eyes and say, “Mom I have no idea of what I’ll be doing in 3 months or six months or even next year”. When my divorce happened I learned life doesn’t always go according to plans, therefore I stopped planning.
I see now that was wrong. While living in the moment is my utmost goal, looking forward to the future with anticipation and excitement is important too.
My life has not changed much from a year ago. However I’ve lost weight and lowered my blood sugar. I’ve read 20 more books this year than I did last year 50 vs 70 books.
With 2026 knocking on the door, refusing to go away as I ignore it, it’s time to make a vision board. I’ve done that in the past and it worked well. 2026 I’ll be ready for you.
I have been working on expanding my French skills. This means daily practice but unfortunately I don’t have anyone near me who speaks French. But alas, I will not be dissuaded from learning French as impractical as it may be in Texas.
This prompt made me realize I have not really learned anything new in quite awhile. I used to seek out new learning opportunities on a regular basis but for the last few years I’ve been remiss.
2026 will see a change in that. I don’t set new year resolutions but I can set goals. I like to break them down into steps. Organization and purging of no longer needed items is at the top of my list. Once this is done I can learn new sewing skills, writing skills, and try some more difficult baking and cooking recipes, also seek out an adventure
I’ll continue leaning French vocabulary but add new skills along the way. I believe we only stop learning when we die.
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.
Me
We have lots of first days of school. If you started in kindergarten and graduated high school, you’d have 13 first days. If you were lucky enough to stay in the same school district then those first days gave you butterflies. If like me you moved a lot and changed schools then you didn’t get butterflies, you got bats.
Butterflies, to me, express excitement tinged with a little nervousness. Bats however are nothing but fear.
When we moved from Oklahoma to Minnesota it was in the middle of fourth grade. Completely unaware of having a southern accent, I was shocked and humiliated when the class made fun of the way I spoke. The teacher even joined in. (Bullying was considered normal childhood behavior). The staff wanted to send my sister to speech therapy!!
This affected me a lot and is probably the reason going anywhere I have not been before brings me back to bats in the tummy.
After that experience, I quickly lost my southern accent. To this day, even after 40 years in Texas, I refuse to use ya’ll. I monitor my speech and when I hear something I’ve said that sounds southern, I quickly correct myself.
Recently, I went to a preschool Christmas concert and their parents’s group was having a raffle to raise money. I could get five tickets for $20 and it was for a good cause. I never expected to win anything. Someone right after me bought 60 tickets so I figured my five wouldn’t win. There were 3 incredible raffle choices.
Imagine my surprise when I got a phone call Wednesday morning informing me, I had won the luxury basket worth over $1000. So many wonderful items like a Lola blanket, a skylight calendar, a hatch restore, a diffuser, a spa gift certificate, a car detailing gift certificate and more.
I’ll be honest I had to look up what a skylight calendar and a hatch restore was because I didn’t know.
What surprised me the most is how many people told me they were so glad I won. They thought I really deserved it. I was overwhelmed by their generous and kind thoughts.
I haven’t really been pampered in a very long time. Oh there is the random pedicure and even more random manicure but massages, face treatments, getting my car detailed, I just can’t afford to do those things anymore. So to be showered with so many wonderful luxurious items is an unexpected blessing.
It’s a wonderful way to end the year 2025 and a really great way to begin 2026.
I could worry less. Worry doesn’t produce any results except for wrinkles, unhappiness and sleepless nights.
Growing up in a household where appearance was of upmost importance and then marrying into a family where money and looks were of the upmost importance, you learn to worry all the time.
Since my divorce I worry substantially less but that was a process because when I first divorced I worried about everything. I had no income and received $9,000 cash but no spousal support. (Alimony doesn’t exist in Texas). It took 4 full years to find a job.
I used to worry about what my husband (now ex) was doing because he was involved in behavior that was sinful and illegal. I couldn’t trust to leave him alone. I lived with a knot of anxiety 24/7. Thankfully, that is gone now.
Then I worried about being alone but realized I love it. I worried about getting older and realized growing older is a gift not everyone receives. I worried about money and learned to live with less. I worried about my daughters and realized that are very capable and happy adults.
My last challenge is worrying about what people will think of me. This is my greatest hurdle and it prevents me truly relaxing in a group. I’m positive this is a holdover from moving around so much. Kids and adults can be so mean.
So while I’ve conquered most of my worries, I still have one final challenge.
This past weekend I took my 3 bonus grandkids to see the local high school production of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. They loved it.
When my children were young, I wanted to introduce them to live theater but my budget was small. Expensive tickets weren’t a possibility plus what if I did splurge and they wanted to leave early. So I had to figure something else out.
We were lucky to have two high schools nearby who had great theater departments. Tickets were in my price range and if they wanted to leave early, I wouldn’t feel like I was wasting money. So I bought tickets to Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and took my friend’s sons and my daughters. They loved it.
We continued this tradition and when they were old enough we went to Bass Hall to see professional musical theater.
Now that my girls are grown they continue with their love of theater. My grandkids are lucky enough to live near NYC and they get to see professional musical theater on a regular basis. My daughter in LA frequently purchases a ticket and goes to the theater.
It thrills me to know such a simple thing as supporting the local high schools created a lifelong love of theater in my daughters.
Not lions, tigers or bears but where I live: I see deer, armadillos, raccoons, opossums, buzzards, hawks and many other birds. Also there are countless lizards which the cats love to bring in the house half alive and squirrels which I prefer to see outdoors rather than dead on the kitchen floor!!
I recently read this sweet book. It’s the story of an elderly woman who now is all alone in the world. She has no family and everyday she waits to die. She wants to die. She can’t find a reason to live.
Enter a tiny mouse lost in an old aquarium with hamster toys. Helen salvages the aquarium and doesn’t realize there is a mouse living inside.
They are both dying. The mouse because it’s sick and Helen because her will to live is gone. The big question is Can they save each other?
Sometimes I feel like Helen. No motivation to do anything. While I still have family they are far away and I can’t afford to live by either of them. So I wonder what I’m doing with my days.
Then I go to work and hug the kids I care for, take them to school, pick them up, spend time together and I go home happy.
Everyday is different. Some are more challenging than others but they are all worthwhile.
Growing up I moved every couple of years between the ages of 9 and 14. For me that meant 8 different schools and 4 different states. Adjusting was never easy. It always took me time to make friends and just as I was finding my way and settling in, I would learn of a new move.
Anyone that knows me knows I talk too too too much. I’ve believed it was a flaw in my personality, something created by all of my moves and needing to feel accepted.
Recently I’ve read several articles that attribute excessive talking to anxiety and other experiences. Not a single therapist I’ve ever seen has helped me conquer this trait that drives me crazy. Even though I’ve always asked for help with this. This is one of those articles.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I have always thought if I could live anywhere I wanted, I’d choose France. I’ve had a love affair with France since I was 11. However lately, I have begun to change my mind.
When I was 9 we moved from Oklahoma to Minnesota. It was a move in the US. Should be the same culturally right? What I shock to learn they sounded different, liked different food and would be asked my ethnic background. All my mother said, Well we are Heinz 57, a little bit of everything.
Then at age 11.5 we moved to Colorado. Now that would be more like Minnesota. It got snow. It was cold. Imagine my surprise when everyone wanted to know what my favorite winter sport was? I didn’t ski and snowboarding hadn’t been invented yet. By high school I became fully aware of the “uniform”. I wore Levi jeans, hiking boots and a sweater.
Then halfway through 9th grade we moved to Las Vegas. Yes that Las Vegas. Completely different climate, interests and clothing. Again I had a period of adjustment.
Two more moves came and I’ve been in Texas since 1985. I still haven’t become fully Texan. I don’t like the Cowboys. I don’t drink sweet tea or go to rodeos or wear big hair and lots of jewelry. And most importantly I do not say ya’ll.
But I learned I can adjust and feel at home anywhere. I’ve been in this current city for the past 9 years. And to be honest it doesn’t feel like home. I have no family here and I realized home is where those whom I love are.
With my children on opposite coastlines, I’m frozen. I’ve been unable to decide what to do. Stay? Move? Where to? Travel? I can’t even make a decision on when to retire.
So I don’t know where I’d live if I had the option to move.
What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can?
Hmm, good question. I’d like to say my alarm but work prevents that during the week. And my cats prevent me sleeping in on the weekend.
I pay someone to do yard work but if I didn’t I would skip it.
I live by routine. I feel out of sorts if I don’t have a schedule, but after much thought it would be taking out the garbage and recycle to the curb. Since I live alone, that’s an easy one to skip. I only generate enough trash and recycle for once a month.
Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.
I vote for Lost in a Book Holiday. Why? It is a wonderful way to explore other lives, other places, other people,. You can learn how to do new things or better skills you already have. It’s a way to spend time with friends and family with little prep work.
Here is how you celebrate:
Every family member or friend picks a book or books
Gather snacks and beverages
Turn off all phones, TVs, computers and gaming devices
Create comfy spaces to read
Decide on designated break times and rotating schedules to read to non-readers.
Read, read, read
Share about your book with your family and friends.
Any date works, a hot summer day, a cold winter day, a rainy day or just a I don’t know what to do day.
What’s something you believe everyone should know.
Time
If you had $1440 deposited into a bank account every single day but you could not roll it over to the next day what would you do?
Would you Share it? Spend it? I’m positive you wouldn’t just leave it unused. Because to not use it, would be to waste it.
We get 1440 minutes every day, 10,080 minutes every week, 43,830 a month and 525,600 minutes in every standard year. It is not refundable. Unlike a purchase which can be returned and get your money refunded, once time is spent you never get it back.
When you’re younger this seems so unimportant because there is so much time going forward available. You’ll get to it one day. Then one day you wake up and there are more minutes behind you than in front of you. And you realize you wasted so much time.
So I wish everyone knew not to waste time. This doesn’t mean being busy every available moment. It means to cherish every minute whether you are busy or just soaking up the sun or spending time with loved ones.
My life on an unexpected path 