The landscapers came and it is a small beginning in a long process. I found out today that the man who was building my patio cover bailed on me. I am not happy. I must now begin the process of finding someone else and hopefully I can afford them.
The raised bed has no soil so that is my next project. I’ll keep it simple and try tomatoes once I have soil in.
It’s been raining a lot which normally would be a downer but with all my new plants and trees the rain is a blessing.
Some times I think about the what if’s of life especially when it comes to seeing my grandchildren. It is then and only then I wish things were different. And pray that I can retire sooner rather than later.
When I found myself divorced, I became very depressed. I honestly believed God had forgotten me and that I’d never find joy in my life again. I was unemployed for 4.5 years. I was living off of a rapidly dwindling 401k. And while countless people offered advice on finding a job, no matter what type of job I applied for, I wouldn’t get any response. And trust me I tried the most basic, hourly wage jobs to things for which I’d be better suited. Nothing.
I decided I needed to move closer to my eldest daughter because she lived in a very affordable city. Depression came with me and so did the tears. I really didn’t see a way out of my situation beyond moving in with my daughter or mother. And then a miracle happened.
My daughter was working as a nanny, part-time and her employers needed someone for the two extra days. I jumped at the chance because the small amount of money, would help me stay afloat. I had no idea I was about to fall in love.
From day one of caring for APL, my depression began to lift. It wasn’t so heavy. There was sunshine instead of dark clouds. Several months after starting, my daughter left to have my first grandson and chose not to return to work. So now I was the full-time care provider for this sweet boy.
I tell him God knew I needed him and sent me to this town so I could take care of him. He was 16 months old when I began and soon will be 6 and heading to first grade. Just like with my own kids, the time has flown.
While from time to time, my depression returns, it leaves quickly and is never as severe. Two more children have been added to my employer’s family and with it more joy.
I should have trusted God. He knew what he was doing the entire time.
I didn’t realize it had been a year since I posted anything on my blog. With all the time alone, it would have been easy to write about something, anything at all but I found it much too easy to do nothing. Which sadly, has been my excuse for several years now, post divorce to plan nothing.
The title of my blog is LifeRewritten because as many people do, I had a life plan. My ex and I had even discussed vacations where we’d take our future grandkids. And trips we would enjoy together. Alas those dreams will not happen. I started this blog to work through my emotions and now it is time to start actually writing those new chapters.
First: buy a house which I did May 2019. Two years have flown by and I am beginning a new project. I have a small, shallow, wide backyard. After two years of contemplating do I or don’t I spend the money to do something to it, I decided to take the plunge.
I had several landscapers come out but they didn’t give much direction and the cost was astronomical for very few plants. So I researched on the internet and read my trusty Neil Sperry Texas Garden book. I drew countless arrangements of plants and trees. I finally decided on a general plan and on May 29th, the work begins. I’ll need to add many more plants once this initial work is completed.
And while promised by the end of May, I am not as hopeful for my new patio cover. A previous owner had a sunscreen hung as a patio cover. The ice storm ripped it down and now I am having a new one built. The builder promised me by the end of May, but now he says he is in the middle of a house remodel. I am not happy, but I am committed to this builder now.
The first chapter of a LifeRewritten begun in May 2019 when I bought my house. I didn’t add too many pages but it’s time to start writing the future again.