Month: November 2016

Posted in Faith, family, Uncategorized

What defines Family?

Posted on by Dede

With Thanksgiving around the corner, I wanted to take a moment and ask you to think about how you define “family.” 

Is it just those legally related to you by blood and/or marriage? Or are you one of the generous and loving souls who has a broader definition of family? In the last four years I have sadly discovered the majority of people keep the definition of family very narrow.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family where my parents always opened their doors to anyone who might be left alone on a holiday. I did the same all the years I was married. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter I always checked to make certain everyone I knew had plans. Over the years we celebrated with a wide variety of people. My girls didn’t hesitate to invite friends to join us because they knew I’d always say yes.

How unfortunate that not a single one of my Texas friends checked even once in 2014 and 2015 and now 2016, with me to see that I won’t be alone. With one daughter married with in-laws and the other one on the West coast, I would have been alone this year until a last minute change in plans for my married daughter. The only one to invite me is the family I babysit for and I barely know them. What does that say about my friends who told me countless times we were family?

It is difficult in this electronic world to make friends. It’s even more difficult when you no longer have the natural outlets of children, school, neighbors, or work to make friends. Churches may preach friendliness but I’ve yet to find one that truly reaches out. 

Please take a moment this holiday season and ask everyone you know if they have plans. No one wants to announce she/he will be alone on a holiday, so don’t expect them to ask for an invitation or announce they are alone. Open your doors. If you need help with food expense, ask them to bring a dish. Open your hearts. I can guarantee your life will be made richer by reaching out and pulling people in.

Posted in Faith, Uncategorized

Time to give Thanks

Posted on by Dede

In America we set aside a day in November to give thanks. Hopefully you give thanks to God everyday but I do think it says a lot about our country that we believe giving thanks is so important we have a holiday to celebrate it.

It’s so easy to lose sight of what really matters. Life moves as such a quick pace. One day you’re celebrating your 30th anniversary and what feels like overnight, you are approaching your 4th anniversary of being divorced. And while I am sadden my marriage didn’t make it, I am so thankful for the two incredible daughters I have. And I’ve got one incredible son-in-law. God has faithfully answered my prayer recently for one daughter and I am confident he will answer my prayer for my other daughter.

I’m in good health, have a place to live at least until June 2017 and have faith God will show me the path to how to financially support myself. I’m thankful for the sweet little boy who became part of my life last month. Even though he drives me crazy sometimes, I love my cat, Finn.

I’m thankful my sister is doing well despite her cancer diagnosis. I’m thankful for Anne, Julie and Bonnie who despite the distance remain steadfast and supportive friends. I’m thankful for the kind blogger souls who offer words of encouragement. And I’m thankful 2016 is the year I’ve actually begun to write seriously. 50,000 words and counting to the end of my book.

I may not have a big house, a large group coming for dinner, but as Thanksgiving comes around this year, I more thankful than I’ve ever been.

Posted in christmas, Faith, family, Uncategorized

Happy Holidays

Posted on by Dede

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, it’s not surprising to see Christmas decorations going up in stores. While I think it’s a little too early, it has its intended affect on me. I start to get excited. And for young children and many adults, a long period of preparation and build up only leads to disappointment. So here are a few things that might help.

1. Find a good Advent reading guide and spend 10-15 minutes each evening reading Scripture as a family.

2. Discover Christmas traditions from other countries and pick one to try.

3. Find out how to say Merry Christmas in 10 other languages.

4. Look up where the word holiday (holy day) and Christmas (Christ mass) come from and discuss their meaning.

5. Learn one new Christmas Carol. Here is a link to my favorite new one. It’s especially poignant since my divorce. That’s Christmas to Me

6. With older kids, decide on one way to contribute to those in need not just at Christmas but all year long. Suggestions include tutoring younger kids, reading at the local library or to seniors.

7. Wrap baby Jesus from the nativity and unwrap him Christmas Eve while reading the Christmas Story. Matthew 1:18-25, Luke 2:1-14, Luke 2:15-20, Matthew 2:1-12, Luke 2:14

8. Start a tradition of playing your favorite game on the Saturday nights in December.

9. Bake cookies, make fudge, a cake, a pie whatever reminds you the most of your own childhood Christmas and pass it on.

10. Invite “strays” for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day dinner. There any many people, including me, who may have nowhere to go to celebrate.

11. Write down a blessing each day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. (Each family member). Place them in a jar and read them on January 1st.

12. Find and go to a holiday concert or play. Many high schools have free concerts and community theaters may offer a low cost alternative to seeing a professional production. There are also community orchestras which are less expensive.

13. Find the best Christmas light displays in your community and make a photo scrapbook.

14. Hold a potluck and invite your friends to a Christmas Carol sing-a-long.

Whatever you do, share it with those you love and most importantly know this: it’s not how many gifts your children receive or how expensive they are. What they will remember are the memories you make together.

My girls in 1991 in dresses I made for them.

Posted in books, characters, choices, Goal, Uncategorized, Writing, writing lessons

How do you Know?

Posted on by Dede


I am taking a course at UTexas called Kickstart your Novel. Last week I brought in a sample of my story and a few classmates and the instructor took it home in order to critique it. Normally the instructor critiques your writing while you are in a small group setting. But for reasons I won’t go into, my writing was critiqued in from the entire group.

The instructor is kind and has a way of delivering a critique without squashing your dreams. Overall it was a favorable review by all who read it with one classmate saying it was the best thing she’d read so far in class. The instructor pointed out my good word and phrase choices. An example, “Michael casually shredded her life.”

I have the most difficult (my therapist would say impossible) time accepting praise. I sift out the good and only keep bad. Silly, I know and I’m working on changing.

So who knows, maybe I will someday realize my dream and be a published author.

Posted in Faith, Uncategorized

Heartbreak Hill

Posted on by Dede

Heartbreak Hill By The Light Breaks Through

A must read for anyone struggling with life’s challenges.

Posted in costumes, family, Fun, Sew, Sewing, Uncategorized

So. Sew. 

Posted on by Dede

So, I love to sew. My daughter is wearing a Mary Poppins costume I made for her when she played Mary Poppins this past summer. 

My grandmother taught me to sew when I was about 11. During middle school, I made almost all of my clothes. I used an old treadle machine which had been converted to electric. All it could do was so straight, no reverse, no zigzag, nothing extra.

When I had children I sewed for them. Dresses, usually matching which I’m sure they hated, but I loved seeing them wearing my creations. I made halloween costumes. Drapes, pillows, valances, balloon shades anything for my home I wanted.

Then when my girls no longer wanted me to sew for them, I made costumes for my neighbors’ children. And now I have come full circle and I’m sewing for myself and my girls again.

Why sew when you can go buy something already made and sometimes even cheaper? Sewing is a creative outlet. I makes my mind work hard. I love seeing what I created. But most importantly, it connects me to generations of women before me who sewed, by hand, by machine, clothing for their families.