Do you think humans will ever colonize Mars? What would life there actually look like?
I don’t have an answer. If you had asked a 1st century citizen if people could fly someday or land on the moon, I’m sure they would have said no. than burned you at the stake.
If you asked people dying of a disease that is now curable because of penicillin, would they have dreamed it was possible? They may have hoped but concretely believed I doubt it.
Expect for marvelous scientists who spend countless hours delving into the minutiae of what many of us would consider mundane to find a cure for a disease or explain why something cataclysmic happened, most of us don’t have the fortitude and patience needed to answer most of life’s questions.
Will we colonize Mars, I hope not. We can’t seem to respect and care for the planet we currently inhabit. No reason to go and destroy another one.
What’s a cultural tradition from another country that you wish existed in yours?
The ability to leave work and worries behind like they do in France. They truly have a joie de vivre that has been lost in the USA. It’s all about money, competition, looks, staying young and so many more things here.
I want to leave all of the behind and embrace life.
If you had to change your name, what would your new name be? You mean Daphne right? No it’s Daphna.
I do not like my name. I have never liked my name. My mother told me she was guilted into naming me Daphna. I was named after my grandmother. People always think I get my own name wrong.
I loved my grandmother but she was bitter and unhappy. The only time I saw her truly happy was when she was around my nephew. She had a son who tragically died before he was two and this new baby boy was special. Every time she was around him, her entire demeanor and facial expressions changed.
I was given the nickname Dede when I was around 18 months old and have been Dede ever since. But I have often wondered if I could choose my own name what would it be and would it make me a different person.
Studies have been done about the importance of a name and how it shapes you.
I think I’d want something that could have a nickname so I could be more than one person. Charlotte, Liliane, Esmé, so many possibilities.
I’ve always thought it would be fun to ask people who don’t know me what they think my name is. That would be interesting.
List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?
I read between 50 and 75 books a year, more than most but less than many. The books that have had the greatest impact on me this year are:
Theo of Golden by Allen Levi. A must read for anyone who wants a tale of kindness, forgiveness and how both can change you and the recipient.
The List of My Desires by Grégorie Delacourt. What if your dreams could come true because you won the lottery? Would it make it better or worse? What are your real values? Will they change? Will your family change? Can they be trusted? Will you be happier?
Echo Mountain by Lauren Wolk. A tale of the depression and what happens when your life changes. A comfortable life to living on a mountain, struggling to get by. The people who relocated there speak of a witch and stay away from her. Do we judge people before we meet them? Can we let go of the past and embrace the unexpected future?
All these books made me reexamine my own life and the way I think and live.
My first job like many girls was babysitting. I was 11 and made .50 cents an hour. By the time I was 13, I was making .75 cents/hour and before I was 14, it was $1.00/hour.
Between my junior and senior year of high school at the age of 16, I had my first “real” job. I was hired at Broadway Department store. I made $2.75/ hour. That was 50 years ago and the store has long since vanished. However it was the nicest department store in Las Vegas at the time and at the only mall in town.
As a freshman in college I was hired at an upscale children’s boutique owned by my billiards professor and his wife. I was making $3.25/hour plus if we sold $2070 on one day we each received a $20 bonus. We could easily reach that goal everyday in the summer. The store’s original location was at the MGM Grand Hotel. The original one which had a tragic fire and was located at Flamingo and the Strip. I helped open the location at Caesar’s Palace’s newly open shopping area. I met Patrick Duffy. He was the Man from Atlantis at the time and subsequently Bobby Ewing in Dallas. I helped Sammy Davis Jr. I met Tina Sinatra. And my most memorable day was when an old man, dressed in scruffy jeans and t-shirt with long hair in a ponytail walked in with a statuesque blonde.
She began shopping and purchased many expensive things. I don’t remember the exact amount but I know it exceeded $2,000. That would be over $8,000 in today’s money. I had no idea who they were until he returned to the store and handed me an American Express Credit card. It was exactly like the commercial. I looked at the card and recognized the name. There was no electronic approval back then. $2,000 was the store’s limit so I had to call AMEX for approval.
The man on the phone asked the amount and name on the card, I said Willie Nelson. The man on the phone didn’t believe me. I had to convince him that the man himself was standing before me.
Now for those of you who are surprised I didn’t recognize Willie, remember I was 20 years old and didn’t listen to country music.
I left that job so I could make $5.00/hour at a brand new Sax Fifth Avenue. I helped stock and open that store. It is still there in the Fashion Show Mall on the strip.
I married and moved to Iowa. I became the assistant manager of a young adult female clothing store. Ended up leaving that job to be a mom.
So that began my career as cook, cleaning lady, chauffeur, healthcare provider, nursemaid, therapist, meal planner, money manager and more responsibilities that any one person should have.
During the time my girls were teenagers I worked part time at Kohls and substitute taught.
I earned my real estate license and began selling houses in 2006. I found myself divorced in Jan 2013. I kept selling real estate but wasn’t making enough to support myself. I eventually moved to the central Texas town where I remain to this day.
After 4 full years of earning very little money to no money, I was blessed with finding a job through my daughter as a nanny. Initially it was part time and in less than a year it went to full time. That was 10 years ago. My employers added two more children for a total of 3.
Funny thing is I am back doing much of what I did when I was a full time stay at home mother. The only difference is I get paid for my services now.
There are many things I would have liked to be but I’ve accepted my calling is to love and care for those around me.
So many of the lessons I’ve learned came after high school. There is one lesson I remember well though I learned in high school.
As a junior I entered a pageant, Miss Teenage Nevada. I was named Miss Congeniality, made the top ten but didn’t win. I decided to enter again the next year and I asked my mom to buy me a new formal dress for the contest. Her response was, “ No, you’re not going to win anyway, so you don’t need a new dress.” I didn’t let that stop me. I entered again and I won. Yes, wearing the same dress as I did from the year before.
It doesn’t matter if other people don’t believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself. And go for it.
Well done. You have a good life. 100 years is a milestone but it is not necessarily the end. I know you and expect that you have plans for the future.
Your love of learning has always been one of your strongest characteristics. What are you learning now?
Your heart is full of love for your daughters, sons-in-laws, grandchildren and your new great-grandchildren. You’ve left a legacy of God loving family members. They love you and love to learn as you do.
When the time comes to say goodbye to this world and see God face to face you can be comforted knowing He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
France
I’ve had so many things that have contributed to my growth. One that stands out is my 3 month stay in France. I needed time away after my divorce and chose to go to a language school.
I didn’t become fluent in French but I learned I can survive on my own. It also made me realize you can’t run away from your problems or emotions. They stay with you wherever you are and must deal with them.
It took awhile but I did just that. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My relationship with Jesus is deeper and I love waking up in the morning. I went from Despair to Joy.
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?
The Olin Mills Portrait I won on Hollywood Squares.
Life on an unexpected Path
This is the title of my blog and certainly would be the title of a biography. Why? Because while some people live relatively uneventful lives, not boring lives or not good lives, just lives that head in one direction, my life has not been like that.
Moving from the south to the north and going to 5 schools in 2.5 years, going through culture shock was not pleasant. Then a move to the west was another adjustment. We were not poor but we lived in a very wealthy school district. My friend’s dad used to rent a private plane to fly them to Aspen to ski. We lived in a suburb of Denver. They had a maid and a giant house. Again I went to 5 schools in 2.5 years.
The final move of my adolescence was to Las Vegas. Again culture shock, so different from Denver. Hot and dry, slot machines at the grocery store, obviously different style of clothes, not a pair of hiking boots in school and kids from all sorts of different places made this again a difficult adjustment. Every time I struggled to make friends, only to have to make new ones all over again. Now making friends is so difficult.
It wasn’t all bad. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and competed in the National Pageant. Bob Hope was the emcee and it was on national tv. I had a cancer scare at 20. I worked full time while I went to college full time. Hollywood Squares started filming at The Rivera Hotel and my mother said to me, “You think you’re so smart, prove it. Go audition.” That was the summer of 1980. I got the call in December asking me to be a contestant. At this time Hollywood Squares gave away prizes and not cash. I played 3 games and won all 3 games. My opponent was Rick Presley from Corpus Christi, Texas. I also won the large prize package since I won the most games. In 1980 it was valued at $12,000. Today it would be valued at $47,000. I still have one of the prizes I won. That great high was followed by a broken heart.
Met my ex on a blind date and had a letter writing long distance courtship. Married after only 12 days of actually being together, followed by another move to Iowa and then one to Texas.
I won’t go on. I know millions of people have had more difficult lives but when you are in the middle of change or a challenge it can seem overwhelming. Maybe someday I’ll actually write an autobiography about how to survive and thrive when life gives you many detours.
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
I am scared to retire. Not having an earned income scares me. I have enough money to retire but it still scares me to retire. Would I have a purpose? How would I fill my days? Who would hug me and tell me they love me? (I am a nanny to 3 wonderful children). What if the stock market crashes? Would my depression return? Would the kids forget who I am?
If I win a massive amount of money which gave me the freedom to do anything I wanted, I would consider retiring but I couldn’t guarantee I would.
I grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada. You learned very early that the odds are in favor of the house. I mean, look at the strip. It is built on the money people leave behind.
People confuse lotteries and raffles. They think someone has to win the lottery and this is false. No one ever has to win the lottery. The pot can continue to grow. There’s never a guaranteed winner ever.
However, with a raffle you buy one or more tickets in a specified time frame. Then a ticket is drawn, and whoever’s name and number is on the ticket wins. There is always a guaranteed winner with a raffle. And I won one in December at a Church preschool raffle, which raised money for preschool. All of the raffle prizes were given away.
I rarely buy a lottery ticket, but I know the first thing I would do if I ever won. I would call a tax attorney ASAP.
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
I’m actually not sure. I’ve spent the last 9.5 years caring for a family’s children so I’ve spent a lot of time playing games, reading stories, going to the library and park. We’ve visited most child friendly sites within an hour of where we live. We cook and bake cupcakes, cookies and other yummy things. We do art projects and nature projects.
So in a way my entire day has been spent doing leisurely things. With the kids in school full time and one going half days, I’ve struggled to find leisurely things to do. Mostly I read or write letters. I love getting snail mail. There is nothing better than holding a letter in your hand and reading the words of a loved one.
As the younger one approaches full time school, I’ll need to figure out how to fill my days.
Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.
Boerne, TX
I live in Central Texas. Nothing is close to home. Everywhere I look there are wide open spaces so I actually had to look at a map to find towns nearby. Boerne is 2.5 hours away so not near but also not far. It does sound like a fun weekend stop.
Attractions in Boerne, Texas
Natural Wonders
Cascade Caverns: Explore underground formations on a guided tour. The caverns feature unique wildlife and a gift shop.
Cave Without a Name: Known for stunning stalactites and stalagmites, this cave offers well-lit trails and is open year-round.
Cibolo Nature Center: A 100-acre area with diverse ecosystems and hiking trails. It hosts a weekly farmers market at Herff Farm.
Guadalupe River State Park: Offers activities like canoeing, fishing, and hiking along the riverfront.
Parks and Recreation
Boerne City Lake Park: A scenic area for fishing, picnicking, and hiking. Kayak rentals are available.
James Kiehl River Bend Park: Features trails and river access for outdoor activities.
Shopping and Dining
Main Street (Hill Country Mile): A charming shopping district with boutiques, antique shops, and eateries. Notable spots include the Dienger Trading Company for lunch and unique artisan shops.
Local Breweries: Enjoy craft beers at several breweries within walking distance on Main Street.
Cultural and Historical Sites
AgriCultural Museum and Arts Center: Showcases the history of agriculture in the region with various exhibits and events.
Old Jail Museum: Offers a glimpse into the local history and heritage.
These attractions provide a mix of outdoor adventure, shopping, and cultural experiences, making Boerne a delightful destination for visitors. tourtexas.com texastraveltalk.com
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
20 years ago
If you had asked me this question 10 years ago I’d say I thought about the past more. I was still hurting from my divorce. Rehashing all the wrong done to me and looking inward to figure out where I’d gone wrong, occupied most of my time. Fortunately one day, I realized this was getting me nowhere.
So began the time I hyper focused on the future. Would I ever own a home again? Would I ever find a job? I’d been unemployed for 3 years post divorce and was running out of money. Would I ever be happy again? Would I forever be alone again? Many questions plagued my mind. Then one day I realized just like focusing on the past, focusing on the future was getting me nowhere.
So I let the past go and gave the future to God. I began to focus on today, the here and now. While I can’t completely control today, I can organize and plan my life for that 24 hours. Only thinking about the right now, let’s me enjoy the moments, solve any problems that arise and continue to only plan the things I can control like spending, housework, time at work, time with friends etc.
Letting the past go and giving God the future has been a great thing.
As you know from my last post, I don’t have really any great mentors or supporters in my life. But in 7th grade I decided to take French. Monsieur Giberteau was my teacher. He seemed ancient to me then but was probably in his 50s. (Oh to be 50 again).
He loved his language and culture. His enthusiasm and requirements meant you could not slack in his class. We had to memorize dialogues each week, know verbs for every person as in I, you, he/she, we, they in multiple tenses.
I loved every minute of his class and I learned with effort I would succeed. This in turn has created my life long love affair with the French language. Living in a state where English and Spanish are used equally, I rarely speak French. But I continue on because you never know I might need it someday.
And of course Christ is a huge influence in my life, the biggest one. I wouldn’t have survived my life if he wasn’t at the center of it. I spent some time angry at God and my girls said it’s okay, God is patient and will wait for you. I still seek him everyday.
Webster’s definition (directly copied from Webster’s dictionary).
Simple Definition of cheat : to break a rule or law usually to gain an advantage at something
: to take something from (someone) by lying or breaking a rule
: to prevent (someone) from having something that he or she deserves or was expecting to get
Hear the word cheat and some very vivid images come to mind; an unfaithful spouse, a scam artist, a dieter eating a candy bar, a student who didn’t study but many of us would say we don’t cheat. We might even say we’ve never cheated but upon closer introspection I think most of us would find we cheat everyday.
Whether it’s driving a little over the speed limit, forgetting to signal when we turn, saying we did something like take out the garbage when we actually haven’t done it yet. Or what about cheating our children of precious connection? That’s one of my biggest gripes. It never fails, I always see parents talking on their phones or playing with a tablet and completely ignoring their children. When we give our focus to unimportant things we are denying our children of what they deserve, an engaged and interactive parent. See definition #3-prevent someone from having something he/she deserves. We cheat.
Human beings crave connection. We aren’t meant to live without emotional connection to other human beings. Close personal relationships help protect against depression. But close, meaningful connections don’t happen without time and effort. We spend the most time on the things, people, experiences we value. Like the bible says, “where your treasure is (what in your life you deem important-it doesn’t have to be money) so will your heart be.
If tomorrow you had to make a list in order of where you spend your time and place your focus what would it look like? I’m not advocating quitting a job. But don’t cheat yourself and those you love out of a deep connection by being distracted and focused on the temporary things life has to offer.
Hmm, wouldn’t it be nice if I had only made one mistake but I’ve made many. From small ones to big ones, the mistakes that linger the longest are the ones from which I fail to learn something.
Mistakes if accepted, pondered and if necessary ask for forgiveness are really life lessons. How else would we learn some of life’s most important lessons if not from making mistakes.
I used to beat myself up relentlessly over mistakes. A soul can only take that for so long before it wants to give up. Slowly with the love and patience of my family, I have started to realize I can learn a lot from what happened to me and find my faith and joy again. Without those mistakes, I might not have turned back to God.
My life on an unexpected path 