Posted in communication, Uncategorized

What’s in a Name?


What’s in a name? It is an age old question. First names for newborns seem to run in trends. You can search most popular names by decades. In the 1900s it was John, William and James courting Mary, Helen and Margaret. By the 1950s it was James, Michael and Robert dating Mary, Linda and Patricia. And in 2015 Liam, Noah and Ethan will some day date Emma, Sophia and Olivia. Currently parents try to be original by burdening their children with unusual names and/or spellings. 

Why do I say it’s a burden? Because I was given a name my parents didn’t like which is difficult to spell and pronounce for most people. When a new school year began, I knew the teacher had come to my name when she paused. I was given a nickname when I was no more than 2 years old and continue to use it, but that causes a whole new set of problems.

I have often wondered if I could pick my own name what would it be? I don’t think I would select Peekaboo like the skier. I know I wouldn’t pick to be named after someone like I was. I think your first name should be yours alone in the family. Names do carry with them images. Sometimes those images are associated with either a good or bad experience we’ve had. For me all Vickies and Connies will be bitches. Dougs and Floyds will be selfish jerks who cheat. Are those judgments fair? No of course not but we all do it.

No one imagines Gladys or Mildred being female sex symbols or Randy or Robbie being male sex symbols. The names don’t fit the image we have in our head.

So not liking my name, I’ve often wondered if I could choose my name what would it be? Charlotte? Daniella? Lily? Emannuelle? I don’t know. Maybe one day I will begin to ask people to guess my name. Then I will know who I should really be.

***If you are expecting a baby please don’t use some strange spelling Ryleigh for Riley or Matelyn for Madeleine or Aireck for Eric. Keep it simple. Your child will thank you.

Posted in daily prompt, Uncategorized, WordPress

Identity

  
The Daily Post as WordPress has challenged us with the topic identity. About six months before I turned fifty in 2009 I started to question my identity. I began asking the simple question, Who am I? Why? It was a time of change. I was now an empty nester in an unhappy marriage. I had no career other than mother and wife. If I no longer was needed as a fulltime mother and no longer a wife, who would I be? 

Six years have passed and I am still asking the same question. My identity was wound so tightly around being a wife and mother, I had left no room to be just me.
Now I am a divorcée and I hate having to check that box on a form. It feels like a disease. It’s a label that says I failed. I couldn’t make my marriage work. I am also a “mature” adult having passed the midway point of 50. Again another label I don’t like. Although I do understand the blessing it is to be granted another year of life.

We are complex beings much to eager to label people and put them in a box. It’s not for their benefit but our own. How can I know if she’s a threat to my marriage if I don’t know if she’s married? How can I know if she’s too old to join me in an activity? How can I know if she will be a burden and expect too much from me if I don’t know what she does for a living. Of course the answers to those questions have no bearing on what the possibilities are. But as I said, labels help us keep our own world in order.

So I sadly label myself and in doing so I’ve trapped myself in a small box and haven’t been able to find the door to get out.

Identity Daily Post