Tag: friend

Posted in life

Many times over

Posted on by Dede

What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

I’ve been lucky enough to have many people who have done kind things for me, but two things stand out in my memory.

In 2006 my youngest daughter graduated from high school. We had a big party and family from both sides came to town for her. My former father-in-law was not a nice man. He was critical and could be cruel. He was at my home and refused to even acknowledge my presence. Not even a simple hello was uttered from his lips.

I had had enough and asked my husband (now ex) to speak to his father. I should have known better because my ex was drunk and it ended up being a fiasco. When my former father-in-law literally stepped over me to say goodbye to my family and ignored me, I had to leave.

I went straight to Anne’s house two doors down. The second the doors opened I broke down in tears. She hugged me and let me cry my eyes out. Two hours later no one had come to look for me. I wouldn’t have survived without her kindness.

My high school bestie and I were both born in 1959 at opposite ends of the year. 2019 was a big year because we turned 60. She asked me to accompany her to France to celebrate. Sadly I couldn’t afford to go but she surprised me and told me she was covering all expenses.

We were able to celebrate our very long friendship in the city of lights and I’ll never forget how special I felt that someone would do this for me.

Posted in life

Loyalty

Posted on by Dede

What quality do you value most in a friend?

Loyalty because sadly it’s a very difficult trait to find in people. They believe themselves to be loyal but at the first hint they may need to speak up for you or support you in your endeavor, they run.

My two best friends from high school were upset I had done so well at a camp, that when I was chosen to be a candidate to represent the camp, they didn’t even vote for me.

I wrote letters to the editor of a big city newspaper. Many of them were published. One was even chosen as letter of the week. We received a phone call and my ex answers it. It’s the AA pilot’s union calling about a recent letter I wrote that was published in the newspaper. I could hear him apologize and saying he didn’t write it. It wasn’t his fault. His wife wrote it. It was her fault.

They asked to speak to me. The union wasn’t upset. They wanted my permission to publish it in their own newsletter. They were so impressed with it. Sad to say I wasn’t surprised by my ex’s reaction. I used to think he wouldn’t cross the street to save me or his daughters if the house was on fire.

There are other examples from friends and family members. I won’t go on and on.

Loyalty like many things in life is a choice. I would love to have a loyal friend.

Posted in life

Time to say Goodbye

Posted on by Dede

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

Friends for 50 years

It’s never easy to say goodbye. I had been friends with the woman in the photo for 50 years. We went to high school together. We were bridesmaids in each other’s wedding. Even though I moved away 43 years ago, I saw her every time I returned home. She also made efforts to come and see me, which I greatly appreciated. I thought we’d be friends until the grave but sometimes you must say goodbye.

She is a very thoughtful and generous person. However, never did she take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was always someone else’s fault. Her unhappy life was caused by other people and mostly because she valued money above all else.

The last straw came when I sent her a video about what I wanted for my life. A woman near 90 was talking about close relationships with people being the most important thing in life, not stuff. I had been talking to her for several years about purging and getting rid of my stuff.

She responded angrily listing the things I had recently spent money on (used furniture) and even things I had while married and no longer have. She was never happy for me. I decided then and there, I couldn’t be her friend anymore. I was tired of a pity party that had lasted 50 years.

And while it broke my heart, I felt a burden lift. For so long I had tried to be a good sounding board but didn’t realize until I walked away how much it had brought me down.

Saying goodbye to a 50 year friendship wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

Posted in Blogging

French Friday 

Posted on by Dede

tours
Place dû Grande Marché, Tours, France

“Bien écouter et bien répondre est une des plus grandes perfections qu’on puisse avoir dans la conversation.”

François de la Rochefoucauld 1613-1680

To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation.”