How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
I am a woman, one of the last reared with old fashioned ideas. Things like the man worked and the woman stayed home. The man managed his time and pursued his dreams. The woman gave up all of her time and gave up her dreams.
So no I don’t say no to things that interfere with my goals. In fact as sad as it is, I can’t remember ever having a goal beyond losing weight to please my ex-husband.
If anyone knows how to change the mindset of the 60s and 70s let me know.
In my former married life I knew a woman who had a lot confidence in herself. As far as she was concerned if there was a problem it was someone else’s fault. She wasn’t happy with her sex life and it was her husband’s fault. A daughter got caught smoking marijuana and it was not the daughter’s fault. The list could go on but she seriously believed and probably still believes she never makes a mistake, confident yes but not wise.
One of my daughters went to live in Europe for one year to work as an au pair. She discovered the mother of the children she had been looking after, had been searching my daughter’s computer. When my daughter discovered this, she said something to the woman, and it was agreed that my daughter would find another family to work for. I don’t remember exactly what happened with the woman but she decided to kick my daughter out before her start date with the new family. My daughter was put on the street with her things in suitcases and garbage bags. This was not an English speaking country. God had her in his hands and a friend of mine contacted a friend of hers who lived in the same city in Europe. This friend who had never met my daughter, went and picked her up and let her stay with her.
My daughter doesn’t necessarily think of herself as super confident person but she’s the bravest person I know. She didn’t come home. She went to work for another family and ended up having a fabulous experience.
So you may be confident, but not wise, and you may not feel confident but be brave.
I don’t believe I am superstitious. My sister was born on a Friday the 13th and that was a lucky day for my family. I own a black cat who continues to cross my path and nothing bad happens. I own two ladders but for safety reasons, I don’t walk under them.
I don’t toss salt over my shoulder because seriously I’d have to clean it up. Never having an encounter with a ghost, I don’t believe in them. However I do believe my cats are fully capable of seeing my guardian angel.
I have no lucky charms or rituals. I’d lose a lucky charm and forget a ritual and do it in the wrong order.
Well done. You have a good life. 100 years is a milestone but it is not necessarily the end. I know you and expect that you have plans for the future.
Your love of learning has always been one of your strongest characteristics. What are you learning now?
Your heart is full of love for your daughters, sons-in-laws, grandchildren and your new great-grandchildren. You’ve left a legacy of God loving family members. They love you and love to learn as you do.
When the time comes to say goodbye to this world and see God face to face you can be comforted knowing He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
France
I’ve had so many things that have contributed to my growth. One that stands out is my 3 month stay in France. I needed time away after my divorce and chose to go to a language school.
I didn’t become fluent in French but I learned I can survive on my own. It also made me realize you can’t run away from your problems or emotions. They stay with you wherever you are and must deal with them.
It took awhile but I did just that. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My relationship with Jesus is deeper and I love waking up in the morning. I went from Despair to Joy.
Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
Friends for 50 years
It’s never easy to say goodbye. I had been friends with the woman in the photo for 50 years. We went to high school together. We were bridesmaids in each other’s wedding. Even though I moved away 43 years ago, I saw her every time I returned home. She also made efforts to come and see me, which I greatly appreciated. I thought we’d be friends until the grave but sometimes you must say goodbye.
She is a very thoughtful and generous person. However, never did she take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was always someone else’s fault. Her unhappy life was caused by other people and mostly because she valued money above all else.
The last straw came when I sent her a video about what I wanted for my life. A woman near 90 was talking about close relationships with people being the most important thing in life, not stuff. I had been talking to her for several years about purging and getting rid of my stuff.
She responded angrily listing the things I had recently spent money on (used furniture) and even things I had while married and no longer have. She was never happy for me. I decided then and there, I couldn’t be her friend anymore. I was tired of a pity party that had lasted 50 years.
And while it broke my heart, I felt a burden lift. For so long I had tried to be a good sounding board but didn’t realize until I walked away how much it had brought me down.
Saying goodbye to a 50 year friendship wasn’t easy but it was necessary.
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?
The Olin Mills Portrait I won on Hollywood Squares.
Life on an unexpected Path
This is the title of my blog and certainly would be the title of a biography. Why? Because while some people live relatively uneventful lives, not boring lives or not good lives, just lives that head in one direction, my life has not been like that.
Moving from the south to the north and going to 5 schools in 2.5 years, going through culture shock was not pleasant. Then a move to the west was another adjustment. We were not poor but we lived in a very wealthy school district. My friend’s dad used to rent a private plane to fly them to Aspen to ski. We lived in a suburb of Denver. They had a maid and a giant house. Again I went to 5 schools in 2.5 years.
The final move of my adolescence was to Las Vegas. Again culture shock, so different from Denver. Hot and dry, slot machines at the grocery store, obviously different style of clothes, not a pair of hiking boots in school and kids from all sorts of different places made this again a difficult adjustment. Every time I struggled to make friends, only to have to make new ones all over again. Now making friends is so difficult.
It wasn’t all bad. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and competed in the National Pageant. Bob Hope was the emcee and it was on national tv. I had a cancer scare at 20. I worked full time while I went to college full time. Hollywood Squares started filming at The Rivera Hotel and my mother said to me, “You think you’re so smart, prove it. Go audition.” That was the summer of 1980. I got the call in December asking me to be a contestant. At this time Hollywood Squares gave away prizes and not cash. I played 3 games and won all 3 games. My opponent was Rick Presley from Corpus Christi, Texas. I also won the large prize package since I won the most games. In 1980 it was valued at $12,000. Today it would be valued at $47,000. I still have one of the prizes I won. That great high was followed by a broken heart.
Met my ex on a blind date and had a letter writing long distance courtship. Married after only 12 days of actually being together, followed by another move to Iowa and then one to Texas.
I won’t go on. I know millions of people have had more difficult lives but when you are in the middle of change or a challenge it can seem overwhelming. Maybe someday I’ll actually write an autobiography about how to survive and thrive when life gives you many detours.
I adopted Lily this summer two weeks before I broke my ankle. I also adopted Remy. Remy has grown into a big, black cat who loves to lay with her head in my lap.
Lily is a tiny cat. They were both born around the same time. And as calm and relaxed as Remy is, Lily is the total opposite. She races through the house. Lily jumps long distances knocking things over. She climbs my drapes and even pulled the rod apart.
Lily’s handiwork
I love her. I’d just like a break from the constant concern that I will come home after work and something valuable will be broken.
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
I am scared to retire. Not having an earned income scares me. I have enough money to retire but it still scares me to retire. Would I have a purpose? How would I fill my days? Who would hug me and tell me they love me? (I am a nanny to 3 wonderful children). What if the stock market crashes? Would my depression return? Would the kids forget who I am?
If I win a massive amount of money which gave me the freedom to do anything I wanted, I would consider retiring but I couldn’t guarantee I would.
I grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada. You learned very early that the odds are in favor of the house. I mean, look at the strip. It is built on the money people leave behind.
People confuse lotteries and raffles. They think someone has to win the lottery and this is false. No one ever has to win the lottery. The pot can continue to grow. There’s never a guaranteed winner ever.
However, with a raffle you buy one or more tickets in a specified time frame. Then a ticket is drawn, and whoever’s name and number is on the ticket wins. There is always a guaranteed winner with a raffle. And I won one in December at a Church preschool raffle, which raised money for preschool. All of the raffle prizes were given away.
I rarely buy a lottery ticket, but I know the first thing I would do if I ever won. I would call a tax attorney ASAP.
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
I’m actually not sure. I’ve spent the last 9.5 years caring for a family’s children so I’ve spent a lot of time playing games, reading stories, going to the library and park. We’ve visited most child friendly sites within an hour of where we live. We cook and bake cupcakes, cookies and other yummy things. We do art projects and nature projects.
So in a way my entire day has been spent doing leisurely things. With the kids in school full time and one going half days, I’ve struggled to find leisurely things to do. Mostly I read or write letters. I love getting snail mail. There is nothing better than holding a letter in your hand and reading the words of a loved one.
As the younger one approaches full time school, I’ll need to figure out how to fill my days.
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
My legal first name is Daphna. It is not Daphne. I was named after my grandmother who loved her name. She was named after the Jewish wife of a football coach.
Daphna is the Hebrew version of Daphne. Daphne was a Greek nymph. Cupid shot Apollo with an arrow and he fell in love with Daphne. She didn’t want to marry but have a free life like Diana the Huntress. She called to her father the river and he turned her into a Laurel tree.
Apollo being devastated to find her rooted to the ground, chose laurel leaves to make a wreath which would be the symbol of victory.
When I learned this story in 8th grade, I was thrilled. I had suffered horrible teasing due to my name and I hated my name. Of course this made my grandmother mad, but I was 13 and didn’t care. I just wanted a normal name like Michelle or Beth.
We lived with my grandmother when I was a toddler. Having two Daphnas in the house didn’t work. So my mother nicknamed me Dede, (All my initials were D). I am now 66 and have always gone by Dede.
Names can definitely help form your personality. And I know if I had had a name which wasn’t constantly mispronounced, misspelled, made fun of, I’d have had a better time of it. Imagine always being asked are you sure your name isn’t Daphne?
If I were to list what I could do differently it would be a never ending list because who lives a perfect life? Certainly not me.
My life, right now, is pretty good. I love my job. I make enough to support myself. I am making new friends and I’m getting more involved in church.
I had a major upheaval 13 years ago which followed many heartaches. It has taken me several years to find an even keel. Having experienced this life altering episode, change has been put on the back burner for me.
However with the advent of 2026, I’ve decided to step outside my comfort zone and begin by making small changes. There won’t be huge changes like moving to a different state or changing jobs, but small changes which will inspire me and encourage me to continue to grow.
The first change of 2026? The boys and I moved my living room furniture around. My living area is small and I thought there was only one option. Brainstorming, a new possibility was found. I love the new layout and while this is a small change, it does make my home feel refreshed.
So in 2026, there will be changes and some things will stay the same. Small refreshes for me.
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
20 years ago
If you had asked me this question 10 years ago I’d say I thought about the past more. I was still hurting from my divorce. Rehashing all the wrong done to me and looking inward to figure out where I’d gone wrong, occupied most of my time. Fortunately one day, I realized this was getting me nowhere.
So began the time I hyper focused on the future. Would I ever own a home again? Would I ever find a job? I’d been unemployed for 3 years post divorce and was running out of money. Would I ever be happy again? Would I forever be alone again? Many questions plagued my mind. Then one day I realized just like focusing on the past, focusing on the future was getting me nowhere.
So I let the past go and gave the future to God. I began to focus on today, the here and now. While I can’t completely control today, I can organize and plan my life for that 24 hours. Only thinking about the right now, let’s me enjoy the moments, solve any problems that arise and continue to only plan the things I can control like spending, housework, time at work, time with friends etc.
Letting the past go and giving God the future has been a great thing.
This was my first car. My dad actually said it was a 1964 1/2 because it was one of the first 500 made. It was all original. The hub caps, interior with lap belts and a powerful air conditioning system were exactly as if it was new off the factory floor. My dad paid $250 for it.
This is the car which I drove when I turned 16. It was a fun and fast car. I loved it and it holds very fond memories for me.
What you must understand is that I turned 16 in 1975 so the car was just 10 years old. Too new to be a collector car and too old to be super cool like a TransAm or Camero. I had to give it up when my sister turned 16 two years later. At that time, I drove the big, gold Chevy station wagon and that definitely wasn’t cool.
There are many experiences I’d like to have again and driving this car is one of them.
As you know from my last post, I don’t have really any great mentors or supporters in my life. But in 7th grade I decided to take French. Monsieur Giberteau was my teacher. He seemed ancient to me then but was probably in his 50s. (Oh to be 50 again).
He loved his language and culture. His enthusiasm and requirements meant you could not slack in his class. We had to memorize dialogues each week, know verbs for every person as in I, you, he/she, we, they in multiple tenses.
I loved every minute of his class and I learned with effort I would succeed. This in turn has created my life long love affair with the French language. Living in a state where English and Spanish are used equally, I rarely speak French. But I continue on because you never know I might need it someday.
And of course Christ is a huge influence in my life, the biggest one. I wouldn’t have survived my life if he wasn’t at the center of it. I spent some time angry at God and my girls said it’s okay, God is patient and will wait for you. I still seek him everyday.
It’s been so long since I’ve actually thought ahead and planned my future, there isn’t a list of what I wanted from 2024-2025. Planning stopped in 2013.
Looking forward is something I really need to do again. For the most part, focusing on one day at a time has been what I’ve done.
I used to be a planner and it worked great while my children were growing up. Now as adults they roll their eyes and say, “Mom I have no idea of what I’ll be doing in 3 months or six months or even next year”. When my divorce happened I learned life doesn’t always go according to plans, therefore I stopped planning.
I see now that was wrong. While living in the moment is my utmost goal, looking forward to the future with anticipation and excitement is important too.
My life has not changed much from a year ago. However I’ve lost weight and lowered my blood sugar. I’ve read 20 more books this year than I did last year 50 vs 70 books.
With 2026 knocking on the door, refusing to go away as I ignore it, it’s time to make a vision board. I’ve done that in the past and it worked well. 2026 I’ll be ready for you.
My life on an unexpected path 