I have wondered why God set me on this path to live in Temple, TX. While there is nothing wrong with it, I don’t feel at home here. I know my kids are leaving in two years and I’ll leave the too. There is no reason to stay. This town is not conveniently located near an airport so I could travel to see my girls, so I know it’s temporary. I was having trouble digging myself out of the sadness and then,
Enter this young man
My daughter was watching him three days a week and another woman was watching him the other two days. Turns out the other woman was completely ignoring him and making him sit on the rug! My daughter asked if I’d like to take the other lady’s place. I said Yes! Immediately A.P.L. stole my heart.
I’ve watched him now for 8 months. And a couple of months ago I realized why God had sent me to Temple. APL needed me and I needed him. I now watch him 5 days a week. He named me, Mimi and I couldn’t love him more if he was my own flesh and blood. My depression is almost 100% under control. I have a day every now and then but it’s rare I feel bad.
So thank you Lord for taking me on this path, even if in the beginning I didn’t understand. It’s a big reminder You know what you’re doing and I just need to trust.
How do I know where to head when you can’t see the path? Faith requires to believe in what you can’t see. Do I not have enough faith because I want to see a glimpse of the path? To know that there is a path? If I believe God has plans for me, why am I so afraid of tomorrow, the next week, the rest of my life?
I keep thinking God won’t leave me without a way to support myself but in three years there has been no job offer. I wonder if God is giving me the time to write the book I always said I wanted to write? If that’s the case why can’t get focused and get beyond a few pages? Is planning a road trip if I don’t get a job offer just a way of pretending that I must give up and admit I’ve failed miserably at life?
I keep praying and asking God to give me a clear vision of the path he has planned for me. But I am still lost, lost in a deep fog that won’t lift. A job or no job determines what happens to my life next. I have just four short weeks and then it’s over. I must give my notice at my apartment and begin the ugly job of packing up my life and figuring out where to store it.
If God is listening or if God listens to you because it certainly feels like he is not listening to me, please pray that whatever happens I will have peace about it.