I went to a wedding mid-November. It is now two months later and I haven’t received a Thank you note from the bride and groom. You may think it’s only two months but I sent a baby gift to another young woman mid- December who not only has a new baby and a toddler, she had a houseful of company for Christmas. I received a thoughtful thank note last week.
If brides and grooms do NOT plan on sending thank you notes then PLEASE print on the invitations the following:
We are selfish and greedy. You are only being invited for your gift but we will not be sending thank you notes. Our time is more valuable than the the time you spent shopping for a gift and our money is more important than whatever you spent on us.
I would have a much clearer idea of which weddings to attend. I understand lots of things have changed. Brides and grooms live together many time for years before they marry and if they aren’t living together, they are certainly sleeping together. Sometimes they even have children together. But what hasn’t seemed to change is the big, splashy wedding and party following the ceremony. Well if they want that then along with it comes the simple act of showing appreciation to those that came to celebrate with you by sending a thank you note. If you are uncertain what to say here you go:
Thank you for sharing (or remembering- if they couldn’t come) our special day with us. The xyz will make 1. A special addition to our first home. 2. Look beautiful in our first home 3. Will be used all the time in the kitchen etc. 4. The money will be put towards xyz. We appreciate you taking the time to give us such a special gift.
That’s it. It’s not difficult. So brides write them to your family and guests. Grooms write them to your family and guests. Get off your duffs!
A hand gripped her heart, squeezing, refusing to let go. Her only choice was to grab the bottle of Xanax. It would be the only way she would be able to get through this evening. An evening surround by her old life, her old friends with the reminder this would never be hers again.
The bride a woman who was taking a step down that unknown path of marriage. All this woman could see is the red headed baby girl she helped welcome into the world. Escorted down the aisle by her parents, the parents who were friends but had abandon this lonely guest when the divorce happened.
The reception. The unexpected on slaught of faces which she doesn’t remember. Wondering how after all this time they could remember her, her name but their faces, their names held no place in her memory. Having to explain that no she was no longer married and seeing faces full of pity and shock when she said her ex was an alcoholic and sexual predator, which left her with no option but divorce. Explaining homelessness was just months away.
Left alone at the table as happy couples dance, a stabbing reminder she is on the outside. An untouchable now, no longer part of any plans for the future. No happiness or joy in her future.
The wine, followed by more wine mingling with the Xanax to create a sense of who gives a damn, certainly not this unloved woman. Faces across the room she longed to see, to speak to but knew the importance of remaining in her seat. They had the need to shield themselves from the truth of her pain and their failure to be there when she needed them.
The casual promises to stay in touch, knowing they were empty words. Feeling the emptiness in a room full of people, full of love and full of life. How can someone be so alone when surrounded by so many? A mirage, nothing but the timeless illusion couples go through only to find life isn’t a happily ever after tale. It’s a path full of road blocks, potholes, turns and yes sometimes unexpected joy or unexpected heart break.
The wedding. The people. The love. The emptiness. The mirage. Life.