Posted in Uncategorized, wedding

Where have basic manners gone?

I went to a wedding mid-November. It is now two months later and I haven’t received a Thank you note from the bride and groom. You may think it’s only two months but I sent a baby gift to another young woman mid- December who not only has a new baby and a toddler, she had a houseful of company for Christmas. I received a thoughtful thank note last week.

If brides and grooms do NOT plan on sending thank you notes then PLEASE print on the invitations the following:

We are selfish and greedy. You are only being invited for your gift but we will not be sending thank you notes. Our time is more valuable than the the time you spent shopping for a gift and our money is more important than whatever you spent on us.

I would have a much clearer idea of which weddings to attend. I understand lots of things have changed. Brides and grooms live together many time for years before they marry and if they aren’t living together, they are certainly sleeping together. Sometimes they even have children together. But what hasn’t seemed to change is the big, splashy wedding and party following the ceremony. Well if they want that then along with it comes the simple act of showing appreciation to those that came to celebrate with you by sending a thank you note. If you are uncertain what to say here you go:

Dear xxx,

Thank you for sharing (or remembering- if they couldn’t come) our special day with us. The xyz will make 1. A special addition to our first home. 2. Look beautiful in our first home 3. Will be used all the time in the kitchen etc. 4. The money will be put towards xyz. We appreciate you taking the time to give us such a special gift.

That’s it. It’s not difficult. So brides write them to your family and guests. Grooms write them to your family and guests. Get off your duffs!


I am always learning something new about life. My life is made richer by friends, family, travel, experiences, books and hobbies.

6 thoughts on “Where have basic manners gone?

    1. Wow I’ve never experienced that. I have addressed my own thank you note envelope at a shower. While I don’t think we need the manners of Downton Abbey, I would like to see a return to gratitude.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Are they Mormon weddings where you are only going to the reception if you aren’t a sealed member of the church? I was in the Dallas area for 30 years and now in in Austin. The weddings I’ve been to in the Dallas area tend to be pretty traditional but the bridal parties are huge. There can be as many as 10 bridesmaids. I’ve been to a few Mormon receptions. I’ve been to a small but expensive wedding. And the kar wedding I attended included a bottle of whiskey in the ceremony. We have lots of what I refer to as “one stop shops”. Places that look like a church without any religious identification, a reception hall attached and you order everything food, alcohol, flowers through them. Even though this is the Bible Belt, on any given Sunday only about 30% of people are in church. In fact my daughter’s wedding is only one of three that were in the bride’s home church where they were married by their own pastor.


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