Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.
I hope people say I am thoughtful and kind, always trying to make everyone feel comfortable.
A Southerner’s first day in a Minnesota school
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.
We have lots of first days of school. If you started in kindergarten and graduated high school, you’d have 13 first days. If you were lucky enough to stay in the same school district then those first days gave you butterflies. If like me you moved a lot and changed schools then you didn’t get butterflies, you got bats.
Butterflies, to me, express excitement tinged with a little nervousness. Bats however are nothing but fear.
When we moved from Oklahoma to Minnesota it was in the middle of fourth grade. Completely unaware of having a southern accent, I was shocked and humiliated when the class made fun of the way I spoke. The teacher even joined in. (Bullying was considered normal childhood behavior). The staff wanted to send my sister to speech therapy!!
This affected me a lot and is probably the reason going anywhere I have not been before brings me back to bats in the tummy.
After that experience, I quickly lost my southern accent. To this day, even after 40 years in Texas, I refuse to use ya’ll. I monitor my speech and when I hear something I’ve said that sounds southern, I quickly correct myself.
Firsts are scary and can alter us for a lifetime.
Surprise blessing
Recently, I went to a preschool Christmas concert and their parents’s group was having a raffle to raise money. I could get five tickets for $20 and it was for a good cause. I never expected to win anything. Someone right after me bought 60 tickets so I figured my five wouldn’t win. There were 3 incredible raffle choices.
Imagine my surprise when I got a phone call Wednesday morning informing me, I had won the luxury basket worth over $1000. So many wonderful items like a Lola blanket, a skylight calendar, a hatch restore, a diffuser, a spa gift certificate, a car detailing gift certificate and more.
I’ll be honest I had to look up what a skylight calendar and a hatch restore was because I didn’t know.
What surprised me the most is how many people told me they were so glad I won. They thought I really deserved it. I was overwhelmed by their generous and kind thoughts.
I haven’t really been pampered in a very long time. Oh there is the random pedicure and even more random manicure but massages, face treatments, getting my car detailed, I just can’t afford to do those things anymore. So to be showered with so many wonderful luxurious items is an unexpected blessing.
It’s a wonderful way to end the year 2025 and a really great way to begin 2026.
Does Worry produce results?
What could you do less of?
I could worry less. Worry doesn’t produce any results except for wrinkles, unhappiness and sleepless nights.
Growing up in a household where appearance was of upmost importance and then marrying into a family where money and looks were of the upmost importance, you learn to worry all the time.
Since my divorce I worry substantially less but that was a process because when I first divorced I worried about everything. I had no income and received $9,000 cash but no spousal support. (Alimony doesn’t exist in Texas). It took 4 full years to find a job.
I used to worry about what my husband (now ex) was doing because he was involved in behavior that was sinful and illegal. I couldn’t trust to leave him alone. I lived with a knot of anxiety 24/7. Thankfully, that is gone now.
Then I worried about being alone but realized I love it. I worried about getting older and realized growing older is a gift not everyone receives. I worried about money and learned to live with less. I worried about my daughters and realized that are very capable and happy adults.
My last challenge is worrying about what people will think of me. This is my greatest hurdle and it prevents me truly relaxing in a group. I’m positive this is a holdover from moving around so much. Kids and adults can be so mean.
So while I’ve conquered most of my worries, I still have one final challenge.
Live Theater and Kids
This past weekend I took my 3 bonus grandkids to see the local high school production of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. They loved it.
When my children were young, I wanted to introduce them to live theater but my budget was small. Expensive tickets weren’t a possibility plus what if I did splurge and they wanted to leave early. So I had to figure something else out.
We were lucky to have two high schools nearby who had great theater departments. Tickets were in my price range and if they wanted to leave early, I wouldn’t feel like I was wasting money. So I bought tickets to Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and took my friend’s sons and my daughters. They loved it.
We continued this tradition and when they were old enough we went to Bass Hall to see professional musical theater.
Now that my girls are grown they continue with their love of theater. My grandkids are lucky enough to live near NYC and they get to see professional musical theater on a regular basis. My daughter in LA frequently purchases a ticket and goes to the theater.
It thrills me to know such a simple thing as supporting the local high schools created a lifelong love of theater in my daughters.
Yes
Do you ever see wild animals?
Not lions, tigers or bears but where I live: I see deer, armadillos, raccoons, opossums, buzzards, hawks and many other birds. Also there are countless lizards which the cats love to bring in the house half alive and squirrels which I prefer to see outdoors rather than dead on the kitchen floor!!
Great Book
I recently read this sweet book. It’s the story of an elderly woman who now is all alone in the world. She has no family and everyday she waits to die. She wants to die. She can’t find a reason to live.
Enter a tiny mouse lost in an old aquarium with hamster toys. Helen salvages the aquarium and doesn’t realize there is a mouse living inside.
They are both dying. The mouse because it’s sick and Helen because her will to live is gone. The big question is Can they save each other?
Sometimes I feel like Helen. No motivation to do anything. While I still have family they are far away and I can’t afford to live by either of them. So I wonder what I’m doing with my days.
Then I go to work and hug the kids I care for, take them to school, pick them up, spend time together and I go home happy.
Everyday is different. Some are more challenging than others but they are all worthwhile.
Cat Lady
Guess the years
How many years do you think separate these photos of me?
Searching and Talking
Growing up I moved every couple of years between the ages of 9 and 14. For me that meant 8 different schools and 4 different states. Adjusting was never easy. It always took me time to make friends and just as I was finding my way and settling in, I would learn of a new move.
Anyone that knows me knows I talk too too too much. I’ve believed it was a flaw in my personality, something created by all of my moves and needing to feel accepted.
Recently I’ve read several articles that attribute excessive talking to anxiety and other experiences. Not a single therapist I’ve ever seen has helped me conquer this trait that drives me crazy. Even though I’ve always asked for help with this. This is one of those articles.
https://www.sagebrushcounseling.com/blog/why-do-some-people-talk-too-much
I apologize for being too talkative. And I hope it is something I can overcome.
Great Question
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I have always thought if I could live anywhere I wanted, I’d choose France. I’ve had a love affair with France since I was 11. However lately, I have begun to change my mind.
When I was 9 we moved from Oklahoma to Minnesota. It was a move in the US. Should be the same culturally right? What I shock to learn they sounded different, liked different food and would be asked my ethnic background. All my mother said, Well we are Heinz 57, a little bit of everything.
Then at age 11.5 we moved to Colorado. Now that would be more like Minnesota. It got snow. It was cold. Imagine my surprise when everyone wanted to know what my favorite winter sport was? I didn’t ski and snowboarding hadn’t been invented yet. By high school I became fully aware of the “uniform”. I wore Levi jeans, hiking boots and a sweater.
Then halfway through 9th grade we moved to Las Vegas. Yes that Las Vegas. Completely different climate, interests and clothing. Again I had a period of adjustment.
Two more moves came and I’ve been in Texas since 1985. I still haven’t become fully Texan. I don’t like the Cowboys. I don’t drink sweet tea or go to rodeos or wear big hair and lots of jewelry. And most importantly I do not say ya’ll.
But I learned I can adjust and feel at home anywhere. I’ve been in this current city for the past 9 years. And to be honest it doesn’t feel like home. I have no family here and I realized home is where those whom I love are.
With my children on opposite coastlines, I’m frozen. I’ve been unable to decide what to do. Stay? Move? Where to? Travel? I can’t even make a decision on when to retire.
So I don’t know where I’d live if I had the option to move.
Routine
What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can?
Hmm, good question. I’d like to say my alarm but work prevents that during the week. And my cats prevent me sleeping in on the weekend.
I pay someone to do yard work but if I didn’t I would skip it.
I live by routine. I feel out of sorts if I don’t have a schedule, but after much thought it would be taking out the garbage and recycle to the curb. Since I live alone, that’s an easy one to skip. I only generate enough trash and recycle for once a month.
Lost in a Book Holiday
Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.
I vote for Lost in a Book Holiday. Why? It is a wonderful way to explore other lives, other places, other people,. You can learn how to do new things or better skills you already have. It’s a way to spend time with friends and family with little prep work.
Here is how you celebrate:
- Every family member or friend picks a book or books
- Gather snacks and beverages
- Turn off all phones, TVs, computers and gaming devices
- Create comfy spaces to read
- Decide on designated break times and rotating schedules to read to non-readers.
- Read, read, read
- Share about your book with your family and friends.
Any date works, a hot summer day, a cold winter day, a rainy day or just a I don’t know what to do day.
Non refundable
What’s something you believe everyone should know.
If you had $1440 deposited into a bank account every single day but you could not roll it over to the next day what would you do?
Would you Share it? Spend it? I’m positive you wouldn’t just leave it unused. Because to not use it, would be to waste it.
We get 1440 minutes every day, 10,080 minutes every week, 43,830 a month and 525,600 minutes in every standard year. It is not refundable. Unlike a purchase which can be returned and get your money refunded, once time is spent you never get it back.
When you’re younger this seems so unimportant because there is so much time going forward available. You’ll get to it one day. Then one day you wake up and there are more minutes behind you than in front of you. And you realize you wasted so much time.
So I wish everyone knew not to waste time. This doesn’t mean being busy every available moment. It means to cherish every minute whether you are busy or just soaking up the sun or spending time with loved ones.
Have an open Heart
What does it mean to be a kid at heart?
I get to see this up close. As a caregiver for three young children over the past 9 years, their joy explodes daily.
They don’t judge. They just enjoy. Every new discovery is treated as though it’s the first time anyone has ever discovered it. Seeing a hummingbird brings jumps of joy and awe.
Seeing new art forms brings inspiration. Watching fun skills like a master chocolatier brings a desire to be one.
I learned to make up and tell stories at the prompting of the kids. Tell us a story Mimi. I had to see the world through their eyes and reignite my own imagination.
As adults we just forget to play, to be open to new things and see the world with a sense of awe. Our focus is on work, responsibilities, money, bills and acquiring stuff etc. Make time to stop. Stop and be quiet. Listen to the sounds around you. Look at the miracles taking place right before your eyes. That is being a child at heart.
Cat Lady
65% of my life lived
What major historical events do you remember?
- RFK funeral -only thing on TV
2. Neil Armstrong landing and walking on the moon. Watched from our apt in Minnesota and looking up on the balcony.
3 Vietnam war and wearing POW bracelets. Serious business in middle school.
4. The exit from Vietnam
5. Watergate Scandal
6. Abortion made legal
7. Elvis Presley dies- I was fortunate enough to see him in early 1974 in Las Vegas.
8. First test tube baby born
9. Jonestown Massacre
10. Three Mile Island
11. Mount St Helen’s eruption
12. John Lennon’s murder and Reagan shot
13. Black Monday October 1987- Our first home lost about 30% of its value.
14. Desert Storm- delayed our move
15. Berlin Wall torn down (I had gone through Checkpoint Charlie in 1978). Poland and Lech Wałęsa
16. Oklahoma City Bombing-My grandma called because her house shook
17.Princess Diana dies in a car crash and her funeral. My daughters are about the same age as William and Harry. I sobbed the entire way through.
18. Columbine shootings- called my friend who had middle school students in that school district.
19. 9/11- My husband was a captain for American Airlines walking out the door when I yelled at him to come back. And our friend was sitting on the tarmac waiting to take off at Newark. Obviously neither of them flew that day.
20. Tsunami in Asia- terrifying and so sad.
21. Plane in Hudson- thinking all experienced pilots would have done the same thing
22. Sandy Hook massacre- there are no words to express the sorrow and anger
23. William and Catherine Royal Wedding- gave hope for joy
24. Osama bin Laden killed- hoped the nightmare would end but it didn’t.
25. Missing Malaysia flight-so mysterious
26.ALS Ice Bucket Challenge- hoping for an end to this horrible disease.
27. Malala Yousafzai shot in the face- again girls/women targeted just for being a female.
28. Robin Williams’s suicide- as someone who has fought depression for a very long time this one hit close to home.
29. Legalized same gender marriage
30. Queen Elizabeth surpasses Queen Victoria as longest reigning monarch
31. Brexit referendum
32. Donald Trump becomes president ugh
33. Women’s march and the #metoo movement
34. Esptein scandal -still waiting on the list
I am sure I have forgotten many but after looking over a list these are the ones I remember.
Life after Turmoil
What are you most proud of in your life?
I am actually most proud of raising incredible, smart, kind, loving daughters. They are so independent and confident, two things I’ve never been.
I am also very proud of surviving divorce. After 30 years of marriage I was given $9000 in cash, part of the retirement accounts, my debts and my lawyer fees. I didn’t have a job. My world had collapsed and I collapsed along with it. It was necessary to use a retirement account to support me. I spent 3 years in a deep depression. I was out of work for 4.5 years.
I seriously didn’t know what I was going to do when the best thing happened. I became a full time care giver for a toddler. Since then 2 more children have been added to the family and I couldn’t be happier. Surviving and thriving such a great feeling.
A Good, long Life
https://www.lunningfuneralchapel.com/obituaries/Floyd-Tode-Wayne-John?obId=45852800#/obituaryInfo My grandpa died recently. He would have been 103 this November. In reality he was my step grandpa but there was nothing step about him. He is the only grandpa I ever had or knew as both of my parents lost their dads at a young age.
He was a working man who loved his family and suffered tragedy. When Carol, his daughter, my dad’s half sister was 13 she died fron a brain aneurysm. Then when I was about 13, Daryl his son and my dad’s half brother died. He was around 30. Daryl died in a parachuting accident. For a long time his bedroom was kept as a shrine.
Even with all this heartache he loved his grandchildren and all the future great and great, great grandkids. My favorite memory of Grandpa is that he had the best carnival barker routine. He always made it so funny but saying pea corn, pop nuts, chewy water and soda gum. There was more to but I laughed every time.
You accomplished a lot in your long life but most importantly you loved well and were loved by many. Rest in Peace
Did I grow up?
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
I’ve actually pondered this many times. Busy being a wife and mom, watching my friends doing the same, I marveled at how adult they seemed. There were a couple of women that stood out. S was always an adult. She lived her life by a well thought out logic. I remember she told me as a university student she loved a man but knew he would be an illogical choice for a husband. Instead she married the stable man who has lived his life with a logical mindset.
I had another friend D, who was old the first time I met her. Not old by age, but old by mindset. I am five years younger and she would always tell me, “just wait until you’re 40 then 50 then 60 etc” and then list a whole host of ailments, assuring me I too would suffer. Not a single one came true except for the food getting stuck in my teeth more frequently! 🤣🤣🤣
Recently I saw a children’s movie which emphasized the importance of never forgetting to play. Fortunately for me I am a care provider for 10 and 8 year old boys and a 4 year old girl. They remind me each day with their enthusiasm and laughter to remember to play. We’ve played pirates, had mountain climbing contests, pretending to dine at a restaurant, and even being moms and dads caring for babies. I am also reminded when tears come, it’s time to be the grownup. During disagreements, back talk, sibling arguments I can’t scream or yell. When I broke my ankle, I couldn’t panic. Remaining calm kept the kids from falling apart. Calling 911, their parents, even being treated by the EMTs, I couldn’t lose control.
So while I may not feel grownup, somewhere along the way, I did grow up.
