Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?
I don’t know anyone who hasn’t unintentionally broken the law. A mile over the speed limit and you’re guilty. Throwing away mail for occupants who haven’t lived here for 15 years makes me guilty.
But that’s the extent of my knowledge of my law breaking career. However I know folks who routinely break the law and don’t care.
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?
Life on an unexpected Path
This is the title of my blog and certainly would be the title of a biography. Why? Because while some people live relatively uneventful lives, not boring lives or not good lives, just lives that head in one direction, my life has not been like that.
Moving from the south to the north and going to 5 schools in 2.5 years, going through culture shock was not pleasant. Then a move to the west was another adjustment. We were not poor but we lived in a very wealthy school district. My friend’s dad used to rent a private plane to fly them to Aspen to ski. We lived in a suburb of Denver. They had a maid and a giant house. Again I went to 5 schools in 2.5 years.
The final move of my adolescence was to Las Vegas. Again culture shock, so different from Denver. Hot and dry, slot machines at the grocery store, obviously different style of clothes, not a pair of hiking boots in school and kids from all sorts of different places made this again a difficult adjustment. Every time I struggled to make friends, only to have to make new ones all over again. Now making friends is so difficult.
It wasn’t all bad. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and competed in the National Pageant. Bob Hope was the emcee and it was on national tv. I had a cancer scare at 20. I worked full time while I went to college full time. Hollywood Squares started filming at The Rivera Hotel and my mother said to me, “You think you’re so smart, prove it. Go audition.” That was the summer of 1980. I got the call in December asking me to be a contestant. At this time Hollywood Squares gave away prizes and not cash. I played 3 games and won all 3 games. My opponent was Rick Presley from Corpus Christi, Texas. I also won the large prize package since I won the most games. In 1980 it was valued at $12,000. Today it would be valued at $47,000. I still have one of the prizes I won. That great high was followed by a broken heart.
Met my ex on a blind date and had a letter writing long distance courtship. Married after only 12 days of actually being together, followed by another move to Iowa and then one to Texas.
I won’t go on. I know millions of people have had more difficult lives but when you are in the middle of change or a challenge it can seem overwhelming. Maybe someday I’ll actually write an autobiography about how to survive and thrive when life gives you many detours.
Life on an Unexpected Path.
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
I’ve always loved opening my home and entertaining friends. We had parties in all our homes. Even when space was tight, we invited friends and neighbors to our home. NYE 1999 We had a party for over 100 people at our home. Families came. I had made everyone a champagne glass with 2000 etched on it. At midnight a friend played Auld Lang Syne on the piano and we all sang. It was a fabulous time.
When I divorced I had to live in small apartments. I had to move out of my community of 25 years. Depression set in and entertaining was not an option.
Now that I am out of that dark cave and I now have my own home, I’d like to entertain but I’m afraid. It’s been so long. My circle has grown smaller. I don’t have all the entertaining equipment, like chafing dishes, wine glasses, etc that I used to have. What used to be second nature now seems like a mountain to climb.
I’m hoping my love of entertaining returns.
Do you need a break? From what?
I adopted Lily this summer two weeks before I broke my ankle. I also adopted Remy. Remy has grown into a big, black cat who loves to lay with her head in my lap.
Lily is a tiny cat. They were both born around the same time. And as calm and relaxed as Remy is, Lily is the total opposite. She races through the house. Lily jumps long distances knocking things over. She climbs my drapes and even pulled the rod apart.
I love her. I’d just like a break from the constant concern that I will come home after work and something valuable will be broken.
Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.
My most ideal day would have my daughters, son-in-law and 2 grandchildren with me walking the streets of Paris.
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
Significant events always make me stop and I either take joy in what my life has been or I lament over what my life hasn’t been.
I often think of the song from the musical Rent, Seasons of Love. 525,600 minutes each year. They are deposited in our bank of time and once it’s spent there are no more deposits until Jan 1 of the following year. Once a moment has happened it is gone forever.
Seasons of Love is exactly how I view my life. The love of great-grandparents who shared their garden and help make many wonderful memories. The pain of leaving friends behind when your family moves. The love of a first boyfriend, a most exciting time, which holds such sweet memories. Followed by marriage and the happiness that immediately follows but doesn’t necessarily last.
The season of motherly love for your children. It’s best expressed by this “ having children is like watching your heart walk around in the world.”
Then the shift from a hands-on mother to a behind the scene mother to adult children. They don’t need you often but you’re always there if they do need you.
Then the heartbreak of the love you thought would last forever when it didn’t. Learning to love your new life and succeeding.
A son-in-law and grandkids arrive and love grows exponentially.
Introduce bonus grandkids and now my heart nearly fits inside my chest.
So my life is broken down into Seasons of Love.
And as I age, taking joy in one day is so important. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed and yesterday is gone and won’t return. Today is the most important time.
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
I am scared to retire. Not having an earned income scares me. I have enough money to retire but it still scares me to retire. Would I have a purpose? How would I fill my days? Who would hug me and tell me they love me? (I am a nanny to 3 wonderful children). What if the stock market crashes? Would my depression return? Would the kids forget who I am?
If I win a massive amount of money which gave me the freedom to do anything I wanted, I would consider retiring but I couldn’t guarantee I would.
What would you do if you won the lottery?
I grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada. You learned very early that the odds are in favor of the house. I mean, look at the strip. It is built on the money people leave behind.
People confuse lotteries and raffles. They think someone has to win the lottery and this is false. No one ever has to win the lottery. The pot can continue to grow. There’s never a guaranteed winner ever.
However, with a raffle you buy one or more tickets in a specified time frame. Then a ticket is drawn, and whoever’s name and number is on the ticket wins. There is always a guaranteed winner with a raffle. And I won one in December at a Church preschool raffle, which raised money for preschool. All of the raffle prizes were given away.
I rarely buy a lottery ticket, but I know the first thing I would do if I ever won. I would call a tax attorney ASAP.
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
I’m actually not sure. I’ve spent the last 9.5 years caring for a family’s children so I’ve spent a lot of time playing games, reading stories, going to the library and park. We’ve visited most child friendly sites within an hour of where we live. We cook and bake cupcakes, cookies and other yummy things. We do art projects and nature projects.
So in a way my entire day has been spent doing leisurely things. With the kids in school full time and one going half days, I’ve struggled to find leisurely things to do. Mostly I read or write letters. I love getting snail mail. There is nothing better than holding a letter in your hand and reading the words of a loved one.
As the younger one approaches full time school, I’ll need to figure out how to fill my days.
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
My legal first name is Daphna. It is not Daphne. I was named after my grandmother who loved her name. She was named after the Jewish wife of a football coach.
Daphna is the Hebrew version of Daphne. Daphne was a Greek nymph. Cupid shot Apollo with an arrow and he fell in love with Daphne. She didn’t want to marry but have a free life like Diana the Huntress. She called to her father the river and he turned her into a Laurel tree.
Apollo being devastated to find her rooted to the ground, chose laurel leaves to make a wreath which would be the symbol of victory.
When I learned this story in 8th grade, I was thrilled. I had suffered horrible teasing due to my name and I hated my name. Of course this made my grandmother mad, but I was 13 and didn’t care. I just wanted a normal name like Michelle or Beth.
We lived with my grandmother when I was a toddler. Having two Daphnas in the house didn’t work. So my mother nicknamed me Dede, (All my initials were D). I am now 66 and have always gone by Dede.
Names can definitely help form your personality. And I know if I had had a name which wasn’t constantly mispronounced, misspelled, made fun of, I’d have had a better time of it. Imagine always being asked are you sure your name isn’t Daphne?
Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.
I live in Central Texas. Nothing is close to home. Everywhere I look there are wide open spaces so I actually had to look at a map to find towns nearby. Boerne is 2.5 hours away so not near but also not far. It does sound like a fun weekend stop.
These attractions provide a mix of outdoor adventure, shopping, and cultural experiences, making Boerne a delightful destination for visitors. tourtexas.com texastraveltalk.com
So maybe one day I’ll make it to Boerne.
List five things you do for fun.
Sadly I can only list one and that is eating chocolate, but I’m happy this question was asked . I’ve never thought about what I do for fun. In fact I don’t I’ve ever thought about and now it’s time I do.
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
I don’t remember being attached to anything growing up. We didn’t have much and we moved several times between 1969 and 1974. There were no electronic devices then. I did have a radio for my room but it wasn’t special.
I had an old used bike that was too big for me so it wasn’t special. I had no jewelry.
I do remember as a teen reading Gone with the Wind. It was a birthday gift. I remember crying really more sobbing when Scarlett ended up alone. I gave that book to my daughter.
What could you do differently?
If I were to list what I could do differently it would be a never ending list because who lives a perfect life? Certainly not me.
My life, right now, is pretty good. I love my job. I make enough to support myself. I am making new friends and I’m getting more involved in church.
I had a major upheaval 13 years ago which followed many heartaches. It has taken me several years to find an even keel. Having experienced this life altering episode, change has been put on the back burner for me.
However with the advent of 2026, I’ve decided to step outside my comfort zone and begin by making small changes. There won’t be huge changes like moving to a different state or changing jobs, but small changes which will inspire me and encourage me to continue to grow.
The first change of 2026? The boys and I moved my living room furniture around. My living area is small and I thought there was only one option. Brainstorming, a new possibility was found. I love the new layout and while this is a small change, it does make my home feel refreshed.
So in 2026, there will be changes and some things will stay the same. Small refreshes for me.
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
If you had asked me this question 10 years ago I’d say I thought about the past more. I was still hurting from my divorce. Rehashing all the wrong done to me and looking inward to figure out where I’d gone wrong, occupied most of my time. Fortunately one day, I realized this was getting me nowhere.
So began the time I hyper focused on the future. Would I ever own a home again? Would I ever find a job? I’d been unemployed for 3 years post divorce and was running out of money. Would I ever be happy again? Would I forever be alone again? Many questions plagued my mind. Then one day I realized just like focusing on the past, focusing on the future was getting me nowhere.
So I let the past go and gave the future to God. I began to focus on today, the here and now. While I can’t completely control today, I can organize and plan my life for that 24 hours. Only thinking about the right now, let’s me enjoy the moments, solve any problems that arise and continue to only plan the things I can control like spending, housework, time at work, time with friends etc.
Letting the past go and giving God the future has been a great thing.
What colleges have you attended?
I went to the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. I lived at home and worked the entire 5 years until I graduated.
When I went to UNLV it had about 5,500 students. It now has over 33,000 enrolled students. Its hospitality program is one of the best in the country.
I also went to the Institut de Touraine. It’s a language school located in Tours, France. There were students from all over the world enrolled.
I was there 3 months. They offered separate tours and cooking classes. I lived in a small studio apartment.
I’ve also attended a couple of community colleges in the Dallas area and I attended Alliance Française in Dallas for a couple years.
I am someone who loves to learn and I believe I’ll be learning until the day I die.
How have your political views changed over time?
It was a simple switch for me. When Donald Trump ran for president in 2016, I became a democrat. His words were taken almost verbatim from Hitler. I feared for our freedoms.
There was the short salvation of Biden, as flawed as many believed him to be. But now as Trump finishes the first year of his second term all my worst dreams have come true.
So again it was a simple switch for me. Do I love the U.S. and the freedoms I have enjoyed or do I want a life under a dictator? I had no trouble answering that question.
What is your all time favorite automobile?
This was my first car. My dad actually said it was a 1964 1/2 because it was one of the first 500 made. It was all original. The hub caps, interior with lap belts and a powerful air conditioning system were exactly as if it was new off the factory floor. My dad paid $250 for it.
This is the car which I drove when I turned 16. It was a fun and fast car. I loved it and it holds very fond memories for me.
What you must understand is that I turned 16 in 1975 so the car was just 10 years old. Too new to be a collector car and too old to be super cool like a TransAm or Camero. I had to give it up when my sister turned 16 two years later. At that time, I drove the big, gold Chevy station wagon and that definitely wasn’t cool.
There are many experiences I’d like to have again and driving this car is one of them.
Who are the biggest influences in your life?
As you know from my last post, I don’t have really any great mentors or supporters in my life. But in 7th grade I decided to take French. Monsieur Giberteau was my teacher. He seemed ancient to me then but was probably in his 50s. (Oh to be 50 again).
He loved his language and culture. His enthusiasm and requirements meant you could not slack in his class. We had to memorize dialogues each week, know verbs for every person as in I, you, he/she, we, they in multiple tenses.
I loved every minute of his class and I learned with effort I would succeed. This in turn has created my life long love affair with the French language. Living in a state where English and Spanish are used equally, I rarely speak French. But I continue on because you never know I might need it someday.
And of course Christ is a huge influence in my life, the biggest one. I wouldn’t have survived my life if he wasn’t at the center of it. I spent some time angry at God and my girls said it’s okay, God is patient and will wait for you. I still seek him everyday.
Are you a good judge of character?
I wish I could say I am a good judge of character but I am not. Throughout my life most, not all, of my friends have been mean to me. One copied my report in middle school and accused me of stealing her work. In high school my friends had the chance to vote for me to represent our drill team in a competition and voted for the other candidate. For a secret Santa, a friend whom I am still friends with, gave me a playboy centerfold. She wrote on it the boobs you always wanted.
As an adult I had what I thought was a close friend but she would routinely cancel plans so she could go with other friends. She was one of those women who could criticize you in the middle of a compliment. I learned mean girls grow into mean women. I played bunco, a silly dice game with the same women for 15 years. The organizer would say rude and mean things to me. I ignored them but they still hurt.
A long time friend criticized me the entire time we were on a trip together. Ignored me so she could take calls from an abusive boyfriend, made comments about my weight and the way I ate. She has no children and has repeatedly told me how to deal with my adult children. I would never dream of telling her how to run her business.
And of course the thorn at the top of my list is my ex-husband. He cheated on me for 30 years which included being wanted by the police for public masturbation and peeping on college girls, using prostitutes and watching r@PE pornography. Always making me feel like it was my fault he did these things and always promising to stop.
Before anyone says no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, that is not true. It depends on the conditioning you received growing up. Having an insult in the middle of a compliment, Ignoring your successes or making you feel bad when you do succeed, Not receiving praise for a big award but being told your own parent didn’t think you’d win. Being made to feel bad because I was smart and inquisitive. I walked into that marriage ripe for abuse.
So I am not a good judge of character. I still struggle and have basically withdrawn from any relationships because it’s too painful to deal with.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. - Invictus
The Power of Story
Pieces of the Whole
Writing New Chapters when Life takes a Detour
Reviews of Films from the Golden Age of Hollywood
read what you love
Enriching my life with books
My life on an unexpected path 