Posted in choices, Dating, men, movie, Uncategorized

Double Standard Issue

Sally Field has a new movie being released this Friday, Hello, my name is Doris. It is the story of an older, eccentric woman who fantasizes about a relationship with a younger man. It is a comedy. Now why is the idea of an older woman and much younger man a comedy? Everyday Hollywood produces movies where the male and female stars have a significant age difference. The male star is much older than his female co-star but we are expected to believe they actually have a relationship. It’s not considered comedy.
If I were to list all of the Hollywood May-December marriages here I wouldn’t have room. Just this weekend Jerry Hall married Rupert Murdoch. There are about 25 years between them. I’m sure he’s an interesting fellow but no one will convince me his billions didn’t have something to do with her interest.

It’s one of those double standards that we must continue to fight. If we are to believe age is just a number and irrelevant then it has to be irrelevant when the woman is older. Personally I think when you choose a partner significantly younger than yourself you are afraid of a relationship with an equal. And no one believes a woman loves a man just for himself when there is a big age gap because how many young beautiful women do you see with old poor men?Money changes things. Money matters. And what I’ve never figured out is how blind men can be believing they appear younger with a young mate. The fastest way to look old is to stand next to someone much younger than you are.

Hollywood should be ashamed of itself for supporting this double standard. But as we know, Hollywood isn’t ashamed of anything they do.

Posted in books, choices, communication, Dating, divorce, friendship, Fun, love, marriage, New life, Uncategorized, women

Dating Profiles

After being married for 30 years, divorced for almost 3 years, I am considering dating websites. I tried them when I first got divorced but thankfully realized facing rejection from thousands of men wasn’t a good idea.

I’ve read up on what makes a good profile and it seems everyone has a different opinion. I tend to agree with the folks that say photos are the most important along with a good headline. I know if I am not attracted to the photo I don’t read the profile. The challenge is remembering I am not that twenty something girl looking for a date. I read a dating expert say that we look at profiles with our young minds. So women see old men who look like their dads and grandpas and men see old women  who look like their moms and grandmas. I admit that is true for me. And then add the additional challenge that men can date down in age, economics and education more easily than women. Now before you lecture me that age is a state of mind and older women date younger men, I am talking about relationships. I am not talking about friendships or a sexual affair even though things are necessary to a good relationship but many times we experience them individually.

I read something in a novel by Louise Penny which I want to use in my profile when I do get brave enough and strong enough to try dating again. This is paraphrased from The Long Way Home by Louise Penny.

She wasn’t made for a Paris runway but for good meals and books by the fire and laughter. She was constructed from and for happiness. She helps you discover how very attractive a heart and mind can be.