Sally Field has a new movie being released this Friday, Hello, my name is Doris. It is the story of an older, eccentric woman who fantasizes about a relationship with a younger man. It is a comedy. Now why is the idea of an older woman and much younger man a comedy? Everyday Hollywood produces movies where the male and female stars have a significant age difference. The male star is much older than his female co-star but we are expected to believe they actually have a relationship. It’s not considered comedy.
If I were to list all of the Hollywood May-December marriages here I wouldn’t have room. Just this weekend Jerry Hall married Rupert Murdoch. There are about 25 years between them. I’m sure he’s an interesting fellow but no one will convince me his billions didn’t have something to do with her interest.
It’s one of those double standards that we must continue to fight. If we are to believe age is just a number and irrelevant then it has to be irrelevant when the woman is older. Personally I think when you choose a partner significantly younger than yourself you are afraid of a relationship with an equal. And no one believes a woman loves a man just for himself when there is a big age gap because how many young beautiful women do you see with old poor men?Money changes things. Money matters. And what I’ve never figured out is how blind men can be believing they appear younger with a young mate. The fastest way to look old is to stand next to someone much younger than you are.
Hollywood should be ashamed of itself for supporting this double standard. But as we know, Hollywood isn’t ashamed of anything they do.
My life on an unexpected path 
I agree that Hollywood has it’s own standard, and it isn’t a good one. Just look at the messages they send young people, especially girls.
However, back in the real world, relationships are rarely that simple. I know of one man who, when he was young, married a woman ten or fifteen years older than he was. She already had teenage children, and of course, had no desire for any more. As a young man, he was ok with that.
When I knew him, he was in his late 30’s and while he still absolutely adored his wife, he did regret that he never had any of his own children.
I will also say that age in years, often has very little to do with maturity. There was a two year age difference between myself and my first husband. He was older, at least he was chronologically…Now he’s in his mid 50’s and is still about as mature as a 10 year old!
I always say that when I first met Ed (my husband now), I was 18 and he was “old”. He was actually 31. It was about the same time that I married husband #1.We were all in the Army, stationed in Korea. What I didn’t know then (because I was 18 and couldn’t see it), was that Ed was head over heels in love with me. He never said a word about it. As far as I was concerned, he was like a big brother to me. I absolutely adored him, but not “that way”. Eventually, we all came back to the states, and Ed and I lost touch.
Fast forward 27 years and two bad marriages. Ed and I reconnected, and one of the first words out of his mouth was that he was “so in love” with me. The proverbial light bulb came on, and I realized I really had been young and stupid. We have now been together for seven years and married for almost three. No, we don’t have a lot of money, and neither one of us has the best health, but we are happy together.
Should he have spoken up when I was 18? Absolutely not! There was no way I was mature enough for a relationship with some one who was older and not “pretty”. He says that he had to wait for me to grow up. 🙂
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There are always exceptions to the rule but by in large women are discarded and ignored as dating material once they are past 50. I guess you met your husband before you reach 50. I’m happy you found the right one.
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Yeah, I first met him when I was 18 and I was 45 when we reconnected.
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