Posted in divorce, Experience, God, Uncategorized, WordPress

And the door remains closed

Received an email today that said I didn’t get the job. I’ve been looking for three years 2 months. Everyone is full of suggestions and trust me, I’ve tried them all. God clearly has plans for me that currently don’t include working. I hope He knows I have very limited time to find a job. If I don’t get something that pays at least $40,000 a year, I will have to store all of my furniture and personal belongings. Then I will move about 1600 miles away and in with my mom.

Now I love my mom but I’m an adult woman who hasn’t lived at home for 34 years. Her home is small and full of her things. She shouldn’t have to readjust her entire home to accommodate me. 

I feel ashamed and humiliated. After 30 years of marriage, followed by 3 years of divorce I still can’t support myself. No matter how often and how long I pray, I can’t seem to figure out God’s purpose in this. Why would he leave me unable to support myself? I don’t understand.

I have less than two months to find something. Mid-April I have to give my notice at my apartment and without a job I will have to leave when my lease is up.