movie – My life on an unexpected path

Post Apocalyptic Clothing

Posted on March 17, 2018March 17, 2018 by Dede

The newest trend in clothing is called the post apocalyptic look. Clothing has been basically destroyed to give the impression you’ve survived a horrific war or live in a dystopian society. Call me old fashioned but I think this idea is disrespectful to the millions of people around the world who live in poverty and to those who live daily with war or in the aftermath of war.

There are no options for these people. They live in tattered clothing because they truly are living the nightmare so many teens read about or watch on the movie screen and romanticize. I’m sure millions would love to have one clean new T-shirt, one clean new pair of jeans and a decent pair of shoes.

You don’t have to even travel to a foreign country to see the effects of poverty and war. Struggling Americans and war refugees are right here. Why the fashion industry has decided to make money using tragic situations such as poverty and war, is beyond me.

Take a stand. Don’t buy torn, frayed clothing or clothing with holes in it. Respect those who have no choices.

characters, movie, Uncategorized

Discrimation in our face

Posted on March 24, 2016March 24, 2016 by Dede

All charts are fromVulture

Men continue to keep women in their place by casting super young actresses opposite old men. I’m not talking a couple years difference. I’m talking about men old enough to be their father and grandfather. The link is to an article by Vulture. They are an online news media outlet that reports of what’s happening around the world especially in entertainment.

Every time we watch images with such an age discrepancy, we are being sent a subliminal message that only young women have value and are lovable. We may not be consciously thinking about it at the time, but when we see it over and over in the movies, on TV and in the lives of public personalities there is no way it doesn’t affect us.

Discrimination is something we as Americans are supposed to fight against yet we allow the movie industry to continue to plant untruths in our minds. We do nothing about it. The actresses of Hollywood do nothing about it. What would happen if actresses agreed not to have more than 5 years or even a maximum of 10 years age difference between them and their leading men? There would be lots of movies that would not get made or casting agents would find someone age appropriate.

Is this the message we want to send out daughters? That they only have value when they are young? Thankfully there is one man who stands above the rest with integrity.

choices, Dating, men, movie, Uncategorized

Double Standard Issue

Posted on March 7, 2016March 7, 2016 by Dede

Sally Field has a new movie being released this Friday, Hello, my name is Doris. It is the story of an older, eccentric woman who fantasizes about a relationship with a younger man. It is a comedy. Now why is the idea of an older woman and much younger man a comedy? Everyday Hollywood produces movies where the male and female stars have a significant age difference. The male star is much older than his female co-star but we are expected to believe they actually have a relationship. It’s not considered comedy.
If I were to list all of the Hollywood May-December marriages here I wouldn’t have room. Just this weekend Jerry Hall married Rupert Murdoch. There are about 25 years between them. I’m sure he’s an interesting fellow but no one will convince me his billions didn’t have something to do with her interest.

It’s one of those double standards that we must continue to fight. If we are to believe age is just a number and irrelevant then it has to be irrelevant when the woman is older. Personally I think when you choose a partner significantly younger than yourself you are afraid of a relationship with an equal. And no one believes a woman loves a man just for himself when there is a big age gap because how many young beautiful women do you see with old poor men?Money changes things. Money matters. And what I’ve never figured out is how blind men can be believing they appear younger with a young mate. The fastest way to look old is to stand next to someone much younger than you are.

Hollywood should be ashamed of itself for supporting this double standard. But as we know, Hollywood isn’t ashamed of anything they do.

Jesus, movie, television, Uncategorized, WordPress

Skepticism

Posted on March 6, 2016March 6, 2016 by Dede

Risen – a trailer Use the link to see a trailer of the movie.

I think we all have a small part of ourselves that is skeptical. Can we believe what the presidential candidates say? Can we believe the reason our spouse is late? Can we believe the missing money went to pay for gas? Is the compliment genuine?

While I believe Jesus died for my sins and rose from the grave 3 days later, after seeing the movie Risen I wondered if I had been there what would I have believed? It would be nice to be confident enough to say, I would have recognized the messiah immediately. However if I am honest I would have been a skeptic just like the main character in the movie. I would have wanted evidence. Even now I find at times I seek evidence that God is active in my life. I want my prayers answered and my faith can waiver when they are not.

Our world has groomed us to be skeptics. We are taught not to trust from a very early age. Our doors stay locked. Our kids don’t talk to strangers. We don’t know our neighbors. We worry the other guy is after our job. We wonder if our spouse is faithful. Being skeptical is an American trait. It’s what we do.

Now I believe we should not always accept things at face value but neither should we dismiss something just because we’re afraid to trust. The element of trust has been broken and dismantled in our society. Do we truly trust any of the presidential candidates to put the needs of the country first? Do we believe they answer honestly or does our skepticism get in the way of actually hearing?

Our government is not a TV reality show. While one candidate might make for entertaining TV, that doesn’t mean he or she should be president. In my opinion a good president is like a good parent. Some times the things you have to do hurt and don’t bring pleasure or joy but you know it’s best in the long run. Hard decisions today make for a better tomorrow.

I don’t want to be a skeptic anymore. I want to trust my God and my fellow man.

Blogging, choices, divorce, Dreaming, Experience, Faith, friends, friendship, help, love, movie, New life, Uncategorized, WordPress, Writing, Writing 201, writing lessons

Living Life as just One

Posted on January 15, 2016 by Dede

Yesterday I received a survey from Austin Trail of Lights asking me about my experience. There was one question asking who I came with and how many people there were. They had one HUGE error. There was no selection for anyone who might have gone alone. It was assumed that to go you wouldn’t go alone.

I find this mentality is pervasive in our society. Even when you go online to book a room at a hotel, it is automatically set to 2 people. Restaurant hosts look at you odd when you say just 1. The movie ticket booth isn’t any different. I’ve taken to buying my tickets online to avoid the odd stare.

There is a difference between being alone and lonely. I was lonely when I was married. Even though someone shared my bed, my home, my life it was hollow and empty. I wasn’t alone but I was desperately lonely. I don’t mind going places alone. I have traveled alone because I didn’t want to wait to see places and experience new things. That being said, I do get lonely. It’s not easy making friends especially at this age. I have no home which means no neighbors. I have no children in school so no classmate parents. I don’t have a spouse’s co-workers or a job of my own with co-workers. Churches aren’t generally friendly places. I know they like to think differently but typically there is nothing more than a nod or a quick handshake. Very few are willing to go the extra mile and reach out.

I pray I don’t spend the rest of my life alone but I can guarantee you either way I won’t be lonely.

Blogging, characters, communication, family, fictional, marriage, movie, relationships, Uncategorized, WordPress

Helppo Elämä

Posted on January 5, 2016January 6, 2016 by Dede

Helppo elämä

Easy Living

As part of my Experience Passport I am watching 3 foreign language movies. I watched Farewell my Queen. It is a French film. But rather than selecting another movie, I decided to watch some episodes of a foreign TV show. As a subscriber to AcornTv, I chose Helppo elämä, a Finnish TV show.

Immediately I realized that nothing about the language sounded remotely familiar. Of course there are subtitles, but I didn’t expect the language to sound so “foreign”. I know that sounds silly but I’ve tried to learn French since I was 12 and I live in Texas so I hear Spanish everyday. I also hear variations of other languages but Finnish is definitely the most unique language I’ve heard.

I searched online and learned it is most closely related to Estonian and Hungarian. Now my ignorance of geography was highlighted. I had assumed because Finland is Scandinavian that the language would be related to Norwegian, Danish or Swedish. I pulled up a map and saw that Finland is just north of Estonia and a mere 240 miles (approximate). That is half the distance from Austin to El Paso. Now it made sense.

The storyline is unusual. It follows a family in which the father is a criminal because he has a 4 million € tax debt and therefore can’t hold a regular job. Each family member has problems including a strangely vindictive mother. What I have found most unusual aside from the language, is that everyone is white. Living in a multi-cultural and multi-racial country makes life like a beautiful quilt and each piece is different and unique. I’m not criticizing the show because there are a lot of countries that are not racially diverse. And as we have slowly learned in the US, television should be a reflection of the people. While we aren’t there yet, we do have more diversity now than when I was growing up a 1,000 years ago.

It’s been fun watching a culture that sounds so different but looks so similar in clothing, furnishings and autos. Lots of Volvos and VWs. Take a chance and view the world through a new and wider lens.

Helppo elämä

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Ready for Your Close-up.”

I’ve thought about this prompt for a while. It isn’t an easy challenge because I have to decide which part of my life I’d like to make into a movie. Should I choose the early years which I can’t remember and how would a screenwriter get it right? Do I choose my turbulent teens years? No, that would just be another movie about a girl (me) being the target of mean girls. That’s already been done. Do I choose all 30 years of my marriage? No, that would be too long. So in the end I would make a movie of the last ten years of my life. Those were the most challenging, heartbreaking and ultimately rewarding.

Casting is a challenge because the actors I would choose don’t necessarily meet the correct age requirements but since this is a fantasy movie, I figure I have leeway and can imagine the actors at the appropriate ages for the part.

A slightly older Keri Russell would be me. She has fabulous curly hair which she embraces. I have never been able to embrace my curly hair and would love to see me played by someone who does. She also has the ability to play a loving, creative and happy woman with a strong, resilient side.

Ron Howard would be my husband ex-husband. He would have to a play a character with a dual personality. He would be the nice guy next door with a dark and nasty secret that ultimately destroys his family.

A young Maggie Gyllenhaal would be my oldest daughter. She looks so much like my daughter many people have asked if she is actually Maggie G. Maggie is very talented, has a fabulous smile, is a great actress and has a happy adult life. All which describe my daughter.

A young Kirsten Dunst would be my younger daughter. My younger daughter looks a lot like Kirsten, has an infectious smile, a serious side and a streak of independence.

Toby McGuire would play my son-in-law. He has such incredible talent and so does my son-in-law. He can do anything he sets his mind to so an actor of great versatility would be needed. Toby has played a superhero to a drive jockey who suffered abuse. He would be able to capture the uniqueness of my son-in-law.

Stephen King would have to write the story because he has a way of weaving a tale of normalcy which is laced with intrigue and horror because that is exactly what the last ten years of my life have been. On the surface my life appeared happy and normal but there were secrets. These secrets were nasty, dirty and life altering. A nice, loving suburban family was the chosen hiding place for a psychopathic narcissist. And when the truth comes out, our world explodes and it is only through love that the three remaining survive.

It would need an incredible soundtrack because music evokes emotion and sets the tone. I think a soundtrack of music from the time period would be best interspersed with original music. My oldest daughter would sing the original signature song and my younger daughter would be the costume designer.

And ultimately it would be a blockbuster movie because the audience would see elements of their own lives in the characters and story.