Tag: hopes

Posted in life

Many times over

Posted on by Dede

What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

I’ve been lucky enough to have many people who have done kind things for me, but two things stand out in my memory.

In 2006 my youngest daughter graduated from high school. We had a big party and family from both sides came to town for her. My former father-in-law was not a nice man. He was critical and could be cruel. He was at my home and refused to even acknowledge my presence. Not even a simple hello was uttered from his lips.

I had had enough and asked my husband (now ex) to speak to his father. I should have known better because my ex was drunk and it ended up being a fiasco. When my former father-in-law literally stepped over me to say goodbye to my family and ignored me, I had to leave.

I went straight to Anne’s house two doors down. The second the doors opened I broke down in tears. She hugged me and let me cry my eyes out. Two hours later no one had come to look for me. I wouldn’t have survived without her kindness.

My high school bestie and I were both born in 1959 at opposite ends of the year. 2019 was a big year because we turned 60. She asked me to accompany her to France to celebrate. Sadly I couldn’t afford to go but she surprised me and told me she was covering all expenses.

We were able to celebrate our very long friendship in the city of lights and I’ll never forget how special I felt that someone would do this for me.

Posted in life

The same thing

Posted on by Dede

If the salary was the same, what job would you be doing right now and why?

I love my job. The hours are long and everyday I have a different challenges but everyday begins with hugs and smiles. And I end my day the same way it began with hugs and kisses.

I am a full time nanny for a family with 3 children. I’ve been with them for 10 years this October. The kids are 11,almost 9 and 5.5. There are two boys and one girl.

Posted in life

Three Pines or St. Denis

Posted on by Dede

Which fictional world would be the most fun to vacation/live in?

Without a doubt either Three Pines or St. Denis.

Three Pines is a fictional village located in Québec and borders the U.S. it is home to a close knit community comprised of:

  • Clara Morrow- Artist and resident of Three Pines
  • Peter Morrow- Married to Clara. An artist who lives in Three Pines
  • Ruth Zardo- Poet Living in Three Pines with her pet duck
  • Myrna Landers- Former psychologist who runs the bookstore in Three Pines
  • Gabri Dubeau – Owner of the bistro and B&B
  • Olivier Brulé – Co-owner of the bistro and B&B, and Gabri’s partner

  • Armand Gamache- Chief Inspector of the Sûreté du Québec

  • Reine-Marie Gamache -Armand’s Wife

The café is a local gathering place with a large fireplace, delicious food and a hot bed of gossip. Everyone looks after each other in this village named for the three large pines in the community’s green space. Why three pines? It’s is said loyalists during the American Revolution could find sanctuary in these Canadian towns.

The second but equally desirable place is the fictional town of St. Denis, Dordogne, France. You’ll find a close knit community who care for each other. Bruno is an excellent cook, has a love of Bassett hounds and seems to always getting involved in unsolved crimes.

Benoît “Bruno” Courrèges is the sole municipal police chief of St. Denis and a former soldier who served in Bosnia. He prefers community-based policing over strict law enforcement, often protecting locals from distant European Union bureaucracies. Deeply embedded in the culture of Périgord, he acts as a youth sports coach, makes his own walnut wine, and functions as the guardian of the town’s traditions. His peaceful routine is disrupted when he must assist national authorities in a sensitive local murder case.

Key Relationships

Employee of Gérard Mangin

Colleague of Isabelle Perrault also her love

Rival Colleague of Captain Duroc

Protector of Karim al-Bakr

Friend of Momu al-Bakr

Colleague of Jean-Jacques “J-J” Jalipeau

Tennis Partner of The Baron

Sometimes lover of Pamela an English divorcée

As the books progress more characters are introduced and Bruno builds a deeply committed relationship with these people from various backgrounds.

Again you’ll find regular dinners hosted by this community of friends. Many times with Bruno doing the cooking. He has a large garden of herbs, tomatoes, vegetables. He truffle hunts with his basset hound.

I’d be happy to live in either of these two places.

Thanks to book companion and super summary for character lists.

Supporting Characters

•

  • Fat Jeanne: Known for her unique appearance, adds local color to the narrative.
  • Madame Verniet: An elderly farmer’s widow, representing the older generation of St. Denis.
  • Jo-Jo: A photographer who captures the essence of village life.
  • Diem: A Vietnamese acquaintance of Bruno, showcasing the multicultural aspect of the community.

Many more characters are introduced

Posted in life

Tattoo

Posted on by Dede

If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would it be and why?

I already have one tattoo. It says La Vie est belle. It’s French for Life is beautiful. I’d get one that said, Savourez la vie and pray it is a correct translation of Savor life.

Posted in life

Message to Past Self

Posted on by Dede

If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?

Do not rush through life trying to reach all the milestones. Savor being single, travel, move to France, wait to marry and have kids. Explore opportunities, write that book.

Just do not rush for fear those milestones will never happen.

Posted in life

No idea

Posted on by Dede

How to make friends when you’re over 65

I find myself in a weird spot. I moved to my current location because my Daughter and Son-in-law were here, but when he finished his medical residency, they moved to Northeastern Pennsylvania my younger daughter lives in Sunny Southern California. I cannot afford to live in either one of those places.

My friends from before being divorced have not stayed in contact even though I’ve tried. A couple do stay in contact, but they are very rich and travel and have second homes. They’re always going on trips and I can’t afford to do that plus they are married or they’re single with money.

I am divorced. I work full-time as a Nanny. I’m not a widow. I’m not retired. I’m obviously not married and sadly I find that most women in my age bracket are either married, retired, or widowed. I’m not free to do things during the day and as often as I hear, I love friends in all age brackets, I’ve yet to have one Mother younger than I am, invite me for coffee.

I try to understand because they see me as their mother and not as a potential friend.

I’ve searched online for social groups, but at my age they seem to all meet during the day and I’m not available. I do go to church but again I find no women in my current life stage.

The town I live in is not super small, but it’s not a metropolitan area. There are no museums. There are no concerts for well-known acts. The local community college needs all sorts of paperwork that I no longer have, to be admitted to take a class. I drive to the largest metropolitan area sometimes on the weekend to take cooking classes, but everybody in the class lives in that area and I’m over an hour away. I do go to a library book club but it’s super small and everyone is busy.

This town does not feel like home because Home is where your heart is and my heart is in Pennsylvania and California. I pray diligently and faithfully that God will lead me in the direction I need to go. I just haven’t heard God speak to me in so many years.

Is anyone else out there in my situation?

Posted in Blogging, book, characters, daily prompt, Dreaming, Experience, Fun, Learning, life

So Many Different Me

Posted on by Dede

What’s a quote that perfectly describes your outlook on life?

There’s such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I’m such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn’t be half so interesting.

L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (Anne of Green Gables, #1)

I have always identified with Anne Shirley. She isn’t like everyone else who accepts things as they are. She has many versions of herself. It’s not because she changes to fit in. I believe it’s because each new discovery changes her.

And that is what I believe my life has been like. I remember after I married, my mom would say things like, “I didn’t know you liked …..” It wasn’t a bad thing to say. It was only an observation about how I had changed.

I continue to change, even at 66. And to be honest some people find this troublesome. People like things to stay the same. It’s comfortable for them. But for me staying the same means being stagnant.

I am always making an effort to learn something new. I still work on learning a foreign language. I try new recipes, new places to eat, new experiences to have like making my own soda. The world is full of simple and spectacular lessons to learn.

Love of learning does that to a person. The more you experience and the more you learn, it’s impossible to stay the same.

Posted in life

Not just one

Posted on by Dede

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

More than one place would be my answer. I’d like to live near my daughters, one in PA and one in Southern CA. I’d also like to have a place in the Dordogne region of France. From there I could easily explore Europe and improve my language skills.

With retirement available to me at anytime beginning in August, I’ve begun to think about what will I do.

I only came to one conclusion. I don’t think even after 10 years in this town, I’ll feel its home. Home is where your heart is and clearly mine is in PA and CA.

Posted in life

Happiness

Posted on by Dede

What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?

I heard once happiness is based on happenings, so it is always contingent on what is going on in your life. If you have difficult days then happiness suffers. And if you have a difficult year then happiness is fleeting.

However joy is based on deeper things, most importantly your relationship with Christ. Because while your circumstances may change, God never changes. You know you are not alone and will never be alone.

I’ll admit I have first hand knowledge of basing happiness on your circumstances. If you never have struggles or heartaches or sad days then keep basing happiness on the happenings in your life. But if you are like the rest of us and have difficult days, or weeks, or months, or years, it’s imperative you find your source of joy.

I let my divorce steal 4 years of my life that I can never get back. All I could see was how much my life has changed, focusing only on the negative aspects. Then one day my heart was introduced to a very little boy and everything began to change.

I realized I had never been alone. The Lord had a plan all along for me and for my greater joy. I had only been focusing on insignificant and transient things while He was focused on eternity.

Now I base my happiness on the never changing, always loving Lord, knowing He will always be with me in hard times and good times. It’s my job to trust and joy will come. And joy is deeper and more satisfying than unpredictable happiness.

Posted in life

That’s Easy

Posted on by Dede

What’s a cultural tradition from another country that you wish existed in yours?

The ability to leave work and worries behind like they do in France. They truly have a joie de vivre that has been lost in the USA. It’s all about money, competition, looks, staying young and so many more things here.

I want to leave all of that behind and embrace life.

Posted in life

Having it all

Posted on by Dede

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

I suppose the answer is different for everyone. Can someone actually have it all? I thought I had it all then learned painfully over 30 years it was all a lie. More than anything I wanted a faithful, loving husband who was a good father but I refused to accept the truth. He was neither of those things. I thought the big house, luxury vehicle, trips, beautiful furnishings etc was having it all. I was WRONG!

As my life drastically changed, I felt I had lost everything only to realized I had everything that I truly valued. My daughters were the single most important part of my life and as long as we loved each other, I had it all.

And slowly with moving my focus to my relationship with God, growing closer to my daughters, letting go of wrong ideas, my happiness grew.

Happiness abounds now. I have peace, internal and eternal peace. I need nothing. God has provided for all of my needs. I do my best not to dwell on the years I wasted because each day is a glorious gift.

Posted in choices, communication, depression, divorce, Experience, life, marriage, mistakes

Jesse

Posted on by Dede

Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

As I have said before, I suffered from deep depression post divorce. I tried various counselors but they all put the blame for my depression on me. They said it was the way I thought. They never acknowledged how I had been treated.

Then through a groups counseling program I met Jesse. He was getting his masters in Social worker and needed so many hours of working as a counselor. My budget was very tight because I had been without a job for 3 years. Since he was working under the guidance of a licensed Social Worker, he couldn’t charge me. I could pay him any amount I could afford.

He was the first and only therapist that acknowledged I had been emotional abused. Jess also told me in a very straight forward manor, it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way and I had every right to be angry and sad and depressed.

That is when I started to heal. Being acknowledged, having your feelings acknowledged validated me. He didn’t allow me to wallow in self pity but knowing my hurt and sadness was okay made all the difference.

Posted in choices, daily prompt, Experience, Fun, life

Solo Travel

Posted on by Dede

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

I won $500 in 1977 in a speech contest. I put in it the bank. I started my freshman year of university, lived at home and worked almost full time.

Advertised on campus was a six week tour of Europe for students. It cost $1800 which was a huge sum of money for me but I took a leap of faith, signed up and paid the deposit.

For the entire school year I saved every possible penny. I even would pick up pennies on the ground and save them. By May I paid for the trip in full.

This entire time, my friends were telling me it was a ripoff and fake. I had faith.

My parents drove me to Los Angeles and I met up with the group. I was scared and nervous. Except for a quick trip to Canada years earlier, I had never left the country.

I spent the next six weeks on a bus, a ship and ferry with other university students, staying in hostels and basic hotels as we traveled to 13 countries.

Outstanding memories: going through Checkpoint Charlie into East Berlin and being told not to lose our passports because the U.S. couldn’t help us and we’d be stuck.

Not being allowed into Yugoslavia until one of the male students cut off his beard to verify he was the same guy in his passport photo.

Going to our tour guide’s family home in Austria and having homemade strudel.

Some of the countries I visited no longer exist. It was a different time then. But this trip, instilled in me a love of traveling and being brave enough to go when I knew no one.

Posted in life

High School Lessons

Posted on by Dede

Describe something you learned in high school.

So many of the lessons I’ve learned came after high school. There is one lesson I remember well though I learned in high school.

As a junior I entered a pageant, Miss Teenage Nevada. I was named Miss Congeniality, made the top ten but didn’t win. I decided to enter again the next year and I asked my mom to buy me a new formal dress for the contest. Her response was, “ No, you’re not going to win anyway, so you don’t need a new dress.” I didn’t let that stop me. I entered again and I won. Yes, wearing the same dress as I did from the year before.

It doesn’t matter if other people don’t believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself. And go for it.

Posted in life

Most ideal day

Posted on by Dede

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

My most ideal day would have my daughters, son-in-law and 2 grandchildren with me walking the streets of Paris.

Posted in life

Seasons of Life

Posted on by Dede

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

Top l to r 5 yrs – 22 yrs bottom l to r 65yrs – 46 yrs

Significant events always make me stop and I either take joy in what my life has been or I lament over what my life hasn’t been.

I often think of the song from the musical Rent, Seasons of Love. 525,600 minutes each year. They are deposited in our bank of time and once it’s spent there are no more deposits until Jan 1 of the following year. Once a moment has happened it is gone forever.

Seasons of Love is exactly how I view my life. The love of great-grandparents who shared their garden and help make many wonderful memories. The pain of leaving friends behind when your family moves. The love of a first boyfriend, a most exciting time, which holds such sweet memories. Followed by marriage and the happiness that immediately follows but doesn’t necessarily last.

The season of motherly love for your children. It’s best expressed by this “ having children is like watching your heart walk around in the world.”

Then the shift from a hands-on mother to a behind the scene mother to adult children. They don’t need you often but you’re always there if they do need you.

Then the heartbreak of the love you thought would last forever when it didn’t. Learning to love your new life and succeeding.

A son-in-law and grandkids arrive and love grows exponentially.

Introduce bonus grandkids and now my heart nearly fits inside my chest.

So my life is broken down into Seasons of Love.

And as I age, taking joy in one day is so important. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed and yesterday is gone and won’t return. Today is the most important time.

Posted in life

The Mess before the Reward

Posted on by Dede
Part of the Meas

Realizing a move was not financially possible, I decided to do updates to my home. While I had done some updates, my kitchen cabinets are in a bad way.

I took it upon myself to paint them a few years ago. At first they looked good but over time they became worn. I priced getting all new cabinets and counters. It was out of my price range. How do I update them without breaking the bank.?

I am getting new cabinet doors and having the bases and new doors painted. I’ll get a new updated look without spending $25,000 or more.

However I failed to realize I would need to remove every single thing from my kitchen. Now my kitchen isn’t large but it’s amazing how much stuff one can stash.

I do not do well in chaos. Some people thrive on it, but I need order. My daughter told me that when your space is a mess it can affect your brain and make your brain feel unsettled. So right now I’m living in a mess and it’s going to get worse as I haven’t even emptied all the cabinets.

What type of environment do you thrive in? An orderly space? A space which shows something is happening? Or an over the top mess full of creativity?

Everything should be completed by next weekend. Which means I know next weekend I’ll be spending my time putting everything back. Will it be like Christmas when you can never fit everything back into the boxes? I hope not.

Posted in life

Everything and Nothing

Posted on by Dede

What could you do differently?

If I were to list what I could do differently it would be a never ending list because who lives a perfect life? Certainly not me.

My life, right now, is pretty good. I love my job. I make enough to support myself. I am making new friends and I’m getting more involved in church.

I had a major upheaval 13 years ago which followed many heartaches. It has taken me several years to find an even keel. Having experienced this life altering episode, change has been put on the back burner for me.

However with the advent of 2026, I’ve decided to step outside my comfort zone and begin by making small changes. There won’t be huge changes like moving to a different state or changing jobs, but small changes which will inspire me and encourage me to continue to grow.

The first change of 2026? The boys and I moved my living room furniture around. My living area is small and I thought there was only one option. Brainstorming, a new possibility was found. I love the new layout and while this is a small change, it does make my home feel refreshed.

So in 2026, there will be changes and some things will stay the same. Small refreshes for me.

Posted in life

Past or Future

Posted on by Dede

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

20 years ago

If you had asked me this question 10 years ago I’d say I thought about the past more. I was still hurting from my divorce. Rehashing all the wrong done to me and looking inward to figure out where I’d gone wrong, occupied most of my time. Fortunately one day, I realized this was getting me nowhere.

So began the time I hyper focused on the future. Would I ever own a home again? Would I ever find a job? I’d been unemployed for 3 years post divorce and was running out of money. Would I ever be happy again? Would I forever be alone again? Many questions plagued my mind. Then one day I realized just like focusing on the past, focusing on the future was getting me nowhere.

So I let the past go and gave the future to God. I began to focus on today, the here and now. While I can’t completely control today, I can organize and plan my life for that 24 hours. Only thinking about the right now, let’s me enjoy the moments, solve any problems that arise and continue to only plan the things I can control like spending, housework, time at work, time with friends etc.

Letting the past go and giving God the future has been a great thing.

Posted in life

2024-2025??

Posted on by Dede

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

Thumbs.Dreamtime.com

It’s been so long since I’ve actually thought ahead and planned my future, there isn’t a list of what I wanted from 2024-2025. Planning stopped in 2013.

Looking forward is something I really need to do again. For the most part, focusing on one day at a time has been what I’ve done.

I used to be a planner and it worked great while my children were growing up. Now as adults they roll their eyes and say, “Mom I have no idea of what I’ll be doing in 3 months or six months or even next year”. When my divorce happened I learned life doesn’t always go according to plans, therefore I stopped planning.

I see now that was wrong. While living in the moment is my utmost goal, looking forward to the future with anticipation and excitement is important too.

My life has not changed much from a year ago. However I’ve lost weight and lowered my blood sugar. I’ve read 20 more books this year than I did last year 50 vs 70 books.

With 2026 knocking on the door, refusing to go away as I ignore it, it’s time to make a vision board. I’ve done that in the past and it worked well. 2026 I’ll be ready for you.