Do you think humans will ever colonize Mars? What would life there actually look like?
I don’t have an answer. If you had asked a 1st century citizen if people could fly someday or land on the moon, I’m sure they would have said no. than burned you at the stake.
If you asked people dying of a disease that is now curable because of penicillin, would they have dreamed it was possible? They may have hoped but concretely believed I doubt it.
Expect for marvelous scientists who spend countless hours delving into the minutiae of what many of us would consider mundane to find a cure for a disease or explain why something cataclysmic happened, most of us don’t have the fortitude and patience needed to answer most of life’s questions.
Will we colonize Mars, I hope not. We can’t seem to respect and care for the planet we currently inhabit. No reason to go and destroy another one.
What’s a cultural tradition from another country that you wish existed in yours?
The ability to leave work and worries behind like they do in France. They truly have a joie de vivre that has been lost in the USA. It’s all about money, competition, looks, staying young and so many more things here.
I want to leave all of the behind and embrace life.
List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?
I read between 50 and 75 books a year, more than most but less than many. The books that have had the greatest impact on me this year are:
Theo of Golden by Allen Levi. A must read for anyone who wants a tale of kindness, forgiveness and how both can change you and the recipient.
The List of My Desires by Grégorie Delacourt. What if your dreams could come true because you won the lottery? Would it make it better or worse? What are your real values? Will they change? Will your family change? Can they be trusted? Will you be happier?
Echo Mountain by Lauren Wolk. A tale of the depression and what happens when your life changes. A comfortable life to living on a mountain, struggling to get by. The people who relocated there speak of a witch and stay away from her. Do we judge people before we meet them? Can we let go of the past and embrace the unexpected future?
All these books made me reexamine my own life and the way I think and live.
What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
I suppose the answer is different for everyone. Can someone actually have it all? I thought I had it all then learned painfully over 30 years it was all a lie. More than anything I wanted a faithful, loving husband who was a good father but I refused to accept the truth. He was neither of those things. I thought the big house, luxury vehicle, trips, beautiful furnishings etc was having it all. I was WRONG!
As my life drastically changed, I felt I had lost everything only to realized I had everything that I truly valued. My daughters were the single most important part of my life and as long as we loved each other, I had it all.
And slowly with moving my focus to my relationship with God, growing closer to my daughters, letting go of wrong ideas, my happiness grew.
Happiness abounds now. I have peace, internal and eternal peace. I need nothing. God has provided for all of my needs. I do my best not to dwell on the years I wasted because each day is a glorious gift.
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
I have heard when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. I wish I had heard this years ago and taken it to heart.
Throughout my marriage my now ex-husband showed me who he was. He cheated but always promised he would stop. He used nasty pornography but when caught, always promised he’d stop. My daughter and I asked him to quit drinking. He said he didn’t have a problem. Her response was why do I find you passed out of the sofa? He was wanted by the police for illegal sexual behavior but always promised he’d never do it again. At the end he admitted to using prostitutes.
And even then I stayed almost another 3 years. My trusting heart always believed he would stop but he never did. He asked for the divorce not me. Crazy isn’t it when I think about it.
Six years into our marriage he admitted going to a live sex act club in Sydney, Australia. I wish I had acted then and left him. I stayed another 24 years. While my heart would have been sad it wouldn’t have been shattered by 30 years of mistreatment.
So when people show you who they are, believe them!!
So many of the lessons I’ve learned came after high school. There is one lesson I remember well though I learned in high school.
As a junior I entered a pageant, Miss Teenage Nevada. I was named Miss Congeniality, made the top ten but didn’t win. I decided to enter again the next year and I asked my mom to buy me a new formal dress for the contest. Her response was, “ No, you’re not going to win anyway, so you don’t need a new dress.” I didn’t let that stop me. I entered again and I won. Yes, wearing the same dress as I did from the year before.
It doesn’t matter if other people don’t believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself. And go for it.
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
I am a woman, one of the last reared with old fashioned ideas. Things like the man worked and the woman stayed home. The man managed his time and pursued his dreams. The woman gave up all of her time and gave up her dreams.
So no I don’t say no to things that interfere with my goals. In fact as sad as it is, I can’t remember ever having a goal beyond losing weight to please my ex-husband.
If anyone knows how to change the mindset of the 60s and 70s let me know.
Well done. You have a good life. 100 years is a milestone but it is not necessarily the end. I know you and expect that you have plans for the future.
Your love of learning has always been one of your strongest characteristics. What are you learning now?
Your heart is full of love for your daughters, sons-in-laws, grandchildren and your new great-grandchildren. You’ve left a legacy of God loving family members. They love you and love to learn as you do.
When the time comes to say goodbye to this world and see God face to face you can be comforted knowing He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
France
I’ve had so many things that have contributed to my growth. One that stands out is my 3 month stay in France. I needed time away after my divorce and chose to go to a language school.
I didn’t become fluent in French but I learned I can survive on my own. It also made me realize you can’t run away from your problems or emotions. They stay with you wherever you are and must deal with them.
It took awhile but I did just that. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My relationship with Jesus is deeper and I love waking up in the morning. I went from Despair to Joy.
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?
The Olin Mills Portrait I won on Hollywood Squares.
Life on an unexpected Path
This is the title of my blog and certainly would be the title of a biography. Why? Because while some people live relatively uneventful lives, not boring lives or not good lives, just lives that head in one direction, my life has not been like that.
Moving from the south to the north and going to 5 schools in 2.5 years, going through culture shock was not pleasant. Then a move to the west was another adjustment. We were not poor but we lived in a very wealthy school district. My friend’s dad used to rent a private plane to fly them to Aspen to ski. We lived in a suburb of Denver. They had a maid and a giant house. Again I went to 5 schools in 2.5 years.
The final move of my adolescence was to Las Vegas. Again culture shock, so different from Denver. Hot and dry, slot machines at the grocery store, obviously different style of clothes, not a pair of hiking boots in school and kids from all sorts of different places made this again a difficult adjustment. Every time I struggled to make friends, only to have to make new ones all over again. Now making friends is so difficult.
It wasn’t all bad. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and competed in the National Pageant. Bob Hope was the emcee and it was on national tv. I had a cancer scare at 20. I worked full time while I went to college full time. Hollywood Squares started filming at The Rivera Hotel and my mother said to me, “You think you’re so smart, prove it. Go audition.” That was the summer of 1980. I got the call in December asking me to be a contestant. At this time Hollywood Squares gave away prizes and not cash. I played 3 games and won all 3 games. My opponent was Rick Presley from Corpus Christi, Texas. I also won the large prize package since I won the most games. In 1980 it was valued at $12,000. Today it would be valued at $47,000. I still have one of the prizes I won. That great high was followed by a broken heart.
Met my ex on a blind date and had a letter writing long distance courtship. Married after only 12 days of actually being together, followed by another move to Iowa and then one to Texas.
I won’t go on. I know millions of people have had more difficult lives but when you are in the middle of change or a challenge it can seem overwhelming. Maybe someday I’ll actually write an autobiography about how to survive and thrive when life gives you many detours.
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
Top l to r 5 yrs – 22 yrs bottom l to r 65yrs – 46 yrs
Significant events always make me stop and I either take joy in what my life has been or I lament over what my life hasn’t been.
I often think of the song from the musical Rent, Seasons of Love. 525,600 minutes each year. They are deposited in our bank of time and once it’s spent there are no more deposits until Jan 1 of the following year. Once a moment has happened it is gone forever.
Seasons of Love is exactly how I view my life. The love of great-grandparents who shared their garden and help make many wonderful memories. The pain of leaving friends behind when your family moves. The love of a first boyfriend, a most exciting time, which holds such sweet memories. Followed by marriage and the happiness that immediately follows but doesn’t necessarily last.
The season of motherly love for your children. It’s best expressed by this “ having children is like watching your heart walk around in the world.”
Then the shift from a hands-on mother to a behind the scene mother to adult children. They don’t need you often but you’re always there if they do need you.
Then the heartbreak of the love you thought would last forever when it didn’t. Learning to love your new life and succeeding.
A son-in-law and grandkids arrive and love grows exponentially.
Introduce bonus grandkids and now my heart nearly fits inside my chest.
So my life is broken down into Seasons of Love.
And as I age, taking joy in one day is so important. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed and yesterday is gone and won’t return. Today is the most important time.
I grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada. You learned very early that the odds are in favor of the house. I mean, look at the strip. It is built on the money people leave behind.
People confuse lotteries and raffles. They think someone has to win the lottery and this is false. No one ever has to win the lottery. The pot can continue to grow. There’s never a guaranteed winner ever.
However, with a raffle you buy one or more tickets in a specified time frame. Then a ticket is drawn, and whoever’s name and number is on the ticket wins. There is always a guaranteed winner with a raffle. And I won one in December at a Church preschool raffle, which raised money for preschool. All of the raffle prizes were given away.
I rarely buy a lottery ticket, but I know the first thing I would do if I ever won. I would call a tax attorney ASAP.
I wish I could say I am a good judge of character but I am not. Throughout my life most, not all, of my friends have been mean to me. One copied my report in middle school and accused me of stealing her work. In high school my friends had the chance to vote for me to represent our drill team in a competition and voted for the other candidate. For a secret Santa, a friend whom I am still friends with, gave me a playboy centerfold. She wrote on it the boobs you always wanted.
As an adult I had what I thought was a close friend but she would routinely cancel plans so she could go with other friends. She was one of those women who could criticize you in the middle of a compliment. I learned mean girls grow into mean women. I played bunco, a silly dice game with the same women for 15 years. The organizer would say rude and mean things to me. I ignored them but they still hurt.
A long time friend criticized me the entire time we were on a trip together. Ignored me so she could take calls from an abusive boyfriend, made comments about my weight and the way I ate. She has no children and has repeatedly told me how to deal with my adult children. I would never dream of telling her how to run her business.
And of course the thorn at the top of my list is my ex-husband. He cheated on me for 30 years which included being wanted by the police for public masturbation and peeping on college girls, using prostitutes and watching r@PE pornography. Always making me feel like it was my fault he did these things and always promising to stop.
Before anyone says no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, that is not true. It depends on the conditioning you received growing up. Having an insult in the middle of a compliment, Ignoring your successes or making you feel bad when you do succeed, Not receiving praise for a big award but being told your own parent didn’t think you’d win. Being made to feel bad because I was smart and inquisitive. I walked into that marriage ripe for abuse.
So I am not a good judge of character. I still struggle and have basically withdrawn from any relationships because it’s too painful to deal with.
I have been working on expanding my French skills. This means daily practice but unfortunately I don’t have anyone near me who speaks French. But alas, I will not be dissuaded from learning French as impractical as it may be in Texas.
This prompt made me realize I have not really learned anything new in quite awhile. I used to seek out new learning opportunities on a regular basis but for the last few years I’ve been remiss.
2026 will see a change in that. I don’t set new year resolutions but I can set goals. I like to break them down into steps. Organization and purging of no longer needed items is at the top of my list. Once this is done I can learn new sewing skills, writing skills, and try some more difficult baking and cooking recipes, also seek out an adventure
I’ll continue leaning French vocabulary but add new skills along the way. I believe we only stop learning when we die.
When a person is in a battle with depression, most will find they have triggers. Post divorce, my depression was so serious, I spent weeks and months as a recluse. It has been a lot of hard work climbing out of that dark pit, but I see light now and don’t want to wander into the darkness again.
Working with a therapist was the best decision I made but it took going through several before I found the right one for me. He helped me learn to recognize my triggers. This has enabled me to be ready for what I used to think was depression from out of the blue.
For me:
Trigger #1: A change in seasons. It’s a reminder of the things my ex and I used to do at specific times of the year. Like now spring is coming and I’m feeling the tug to buy lots of flowers for the yard. Only trouble is I don’t really have any place to plant anything.
Trigger #2: Certain music. Typically if the words remind me my ex put no effort into saving our marriage, I’ll feel down for a day or two.
Trigger #3: Certain scents. I’ve read that scent is the strongest evoker of memories. It never fails when I smell burning leaves I break down. Why? That is a scent I associate with the early days of my marriage.
Of course there are a few more triggers, but before I allow my emotions to take control of me, I have some quiet time and reflect. Asking myself questions to determine why I feel myself falling backwards.
It takes time. And I’ve learned growing old is a privilege not everyone gets. I don’t want to waste anymore days in the darkness.
As a simple math question the answer is yes 2 + 2 = 4 but in terms of life nothing could be further from the truth. When two people join together and create a new life, they become 3. And most families add to that number and become 4, 5, 6 or more.
If your family is close then there is a good chance you will have experienced a family reunion. It is a large party where the progeny of two people all come together. In my family it was the children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren of George and Rose. Over 100 people would gather in the heat of the summer, in a park in Oklahoma City with containers of fried chicken, potato salad, watermelon, homegrown tomatoes, lots and lots of pie, and if we were really lucky someone would make homemade ice cream.
My mother was an only child and I have only one sister, so in my daily life we had a very small family. So on those yearly summer days, to learn I was part of something bigger, a family with many branches helped me feel grounded and reminded me I belonged. Maybe my lineage wasn’t to fabulous wealth or royalty, but it was clear my lineage was one of love, caring and a deep and abiding faith in God.
We no longer go to those reunions. My grandmother and all of her siblings have passed on. The group has now splintered off as those other great aunts and uncles have become great, great grandparents in their own right. So they began having their own reunions. Life goes on. Modern life has taken everyone in their own directions. I think about trying to revive the family reunion even though my own family is small. It would consist of 9 people. But I pray and hope that it will grow as my children and my sister’s children marry and have children of their own. So no, I don’t think 2 + 2 = 4.
My life on an unexpected path 