Posted in communication, divorce, family, fear, friends, help, Hiding, marriage, people, Uncategorized

Who Knew?

  I’ve been a talker my entire life. So much so it’s become a reoccurring joke with my family and friends. I always thought I chattered away because I was nervous and wanted to fill the empty space. Recently another possibility was presented to me. Do I talk too much so I don’t have to recognize what I am feeling? Do I use words to cover up my emotions?

I think there is a real chance this is true. When I was married, knowing in my gut my husband wasn’t faithful and I struggled with insecurity, I talked. If was busy talking I didn’t have to admit I was feeling insecure and why. If I admitted my husband wasn’t faithful then I would have to do something about it.

When I am in a social setting and feel like a square peg in a round hole, I chatter. I don’t have to admit I’m feeling scared or worried about being accepted. The words delay having to deal with my emotions.

Just as some people withdraw into themselves to ignore their emotions, I talk over mine. It’s time I’m quiet and listen to the sounds of my heart.

Posted in Uncategorized

Christmas as a Single

 What is wrong with this Commercial?
There currently is a commercial for a company that makes scented candles. It’s supposed to evoke feels of caring and the love Christmas brings. I find the commercial sad and such a statement on what too many people think Christmas is.

In the ad a young couple is shown decorating and sharing time together one December evening. Then an old man is shown alone surrounded by pictures of his now dead wife. The scene definitely evokes sadness. He leaves his home and while he is gone his kindly, young neighbor goes and decorates his house so when he returns he can be filled with the love of Christmas. Why does this bother me? Why didn’t the young woman go over and ask her neighbor to join them? Why didn’t she truly extend the hand of love and hospitality?

Too many people have the belief Christmas is only about family. Thy don’t reach out beyond their own inner circle when celebrating the holidays. Why? Why do they close out the world when the world is so desperately in need of the love Christmas and Jesus brings?

This will be my third Christmas as a single woman. Not a single friend has called me once in these three years for Thanksgiving or Christmas to make sure I have someplace to go. They don’t think behind their own right circle of family. I always included people. I made sure everyone I knew had a place to go. I invited a young couple one year who where in church alone on Christmas Day. I asked them on 12-25. Sure it was a last minute invitation but I barely knew them and had no idea they would be alone but when I saw them I reached out. And they were thrilled to have somewhere to go. I’ve invited elderly couples who couldn’t be with their children and grandchildren.

People make assumptions. Oh she will be with her kids. Oh someone else will ask her. Or they suggest go and volunteer somewhere when all the person wants is to feel loved and wanted and not tossed aside.

So please take the time this Christmas season and ask someone to join you. Don’t let this season go by saying you are celebrating when love came into the world but don’t show it in your lives.

Posted in characters, costumes, Experience, fear, fictional, novels, people, values, women, Writing

Doppelgänger 

I’ve always heard they we have a twin somewhere in the world. No one has ever said I look like someone they know or someone famous but my daughters are told they look like two actresses. And they must because there is never any variation. It is always the same two actresses.
You can even find photos online of stars that look eerily similar to another star. Then there are the stories of families that swear a new child is a dead relative’s reincarnation. If your doppelgänger is someone bad does that mean you might share the same characteristics? The same evil soul? It would be interesting to find out how many traits look-a-likes actually share. So what do you think of the doppelgänger in the photo I posted? Eerily alike don’t you think? She even has a huge wart. My photo is posted after this photo. Do I have a doppelgänger?