Posted in communication, divorce, family, fear, friends, help, Hiding, marriage, people, Uncategorized

Who Knew?

  I’ve been a talker my entire life. So much so it’s become a reoccurring joke with my family and friends. I always thought I chattered away because I was nervous and wanted to fill the empty space. Recently another possibility was presented to me. Do I talk too much so I don’t have to recognize what I am feeling? Do I use words to cover up my emotions?

I think there is a real chance this is true. When I was married, knowing in my gut my husband wasn’t faithful and I struggled with insecurity, I talked. If was busy talking I didn’t have to admit I was feeling insecure and why. If I admitted my husband wasn’t faithful then I would have to do something about it.

When I am in a social setting and feel like a square peg in a round hole, I chatter. I don’t have to admit I’m feeling scared or worried about being accepted. The words delay having to deal with my emotions.

Just as some people withdraw into themselves to ignore their emotions, I talk over mine. It’s time I’m quiet and listen to the sounds of my heart.

Author:

I am always learning something new about life. My life is made richer by friends, family, travel, experiences and books.

4 thoughts on “Who Knew?

  1. This is a topic that has been on my mind. I am a big talker also, and am now on doctor-ordered “voice rest” after surgery to remove a polyp from my vocal cords. It is amazingly hard to stay quiet! I would not have chosen this, but maybe I will experience some spiritual growth from having to LISTEN more than I talk for a while.

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