Today I attended my first City Council meeting. I went to see my sweet bonus grandson be honored by the mayor for environmental awareness and learning about ecology for a better world.
We weren’t able to get into the room because so many people had shown up at the meeting. We had to watch on a big screen TV. Were they always this full. I suspect not. Currently our city council has voted to approve a data center, which the entire community was opposed to, so they’re trying to recall the mayor and all the council members.
I realized I think I want to start going to city council meetings. What better way to learn what’s going on in my community and possibly make a difference through speaking for or against a decision.
That is how I want to get involved in my community.
List the people you admire and look to for advice…
I don’t look to one single person for advice. I only know one person in my circle whom I would go to for advice. And I would even hesitate to ask her.
The one person in my family I’d ask for advice is my daughter. (I’ll let them decide which one I’m referring to). she’s level headed and wise beyond her years. I hesitate to ask her for advice because she doesn’t like to give advice.
Of course I turn to Jesus and the Bible. That is most reliable source of advice. I can’t say I am always happy with what it is, but I’m always guaranteed things will eventually work out if I rely on what I read and the Lord I know.
I’ve been battling allergy induced asthma since December. Most will say pollen allergies are not around in the winter. That’s true unless you live near cedar trees. Cedar trees are the only trees that pollinate in the winter. Here in central Texas cedar is everywhere.
Sadly that means I haven’t been productive. Thankfully I’m finally getting a maintenance inhaler which should help a great deal because my list is long of things I want to do and things I need to do.
I won $500 in 1977 in a speech contest. I put in it the bank. I started my freshman year of university, lived at home and worked almost full time.
Advertised on campus was a six week tour of Europe for students. It cost $1800 which was a huge sum of money for me but I took a leap of faith, signed up and paid the deposit.
For the entire school year I saved every possible penny. I even would pick up pennies on the ground and save them. By May I paid for the trip in full.
This entire time, my friends were telling me it was a ripoff and fake. I had faith.
My parents drove me to Los Angeles and I met up with the group. I was scared and nervous. Except for a quick trip to Canada years earlier, I had never left the country.
I spent the next six weeks on a bus, a ship and ferry with other university students, staying in hostels and basic hotels as we traveled to 13 countries.
Outstanding memories: going through Checkpoint Charlie into East Berlin and being told not to lose our passports because the U.S. couldn’t help us and we’d be stuck.
Not being allowed into Yugoslavia until one of the male students cut off his beard to verify he was the same guy in his passport photo.
Going to our tour guide’s family home in Austria and having homemade strudel.
Some of the countries I visited no longer exist. It was a different time then. But this trip, instilled in me a love of traveling and being brave enough to go when I knew no one.
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
I have heard when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. I wish I had heard this years ago and taken it to heart.
Throughout my marriage my now ex-husband showed me who he was. He cheated but always promised he would stop. He used nasty pornography but when caught, always promised he’d stop. My daughter and I asked him to quit drinking. He said he didn’t have a problem. Her response was why do I find you passed out of the sofa? He was wanted by the police for illegal sexual behavior but always promised he’d never do it again. At the end he admitted to using prostitutes.
And even then I stayed almost another 3 years. My trusting heart always believed he would stop but he never did. He asked for the divorce not me. Crazy isn’t it when I think about it.
Six years into our marriage he admitted going to a live sex act club in Sydney, Australia. I wish I had acted then and left him. I stayed another 24 years. While my heart would have been sad it wouldn’t have been shattered by 30 years of mistreatment.
So when people show you who they are, believe them!!
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?
I work for doctors as their nanny. They had to continue to work during the pandemic. My schedule didn’t change. I show up at 7:15 and stay until 5:30. Preschool was cancelled so I had the boys all day. They are sweet most of the time and fun to be around. It kept what could have been a very lonely time from being so lonely. We didn’t wear masks together since they were so young. Their mom would come in and shower in the back room, changing her clothes as not to bring Covid in the house because she had patients who would come in despite knowing they had Covid putting her, the entire staff and all their families at risk. The dad contacted a mild case of Covid early on but had to quarantine for 3 weeks. None of us caught it.
I was unable to go and see my mother who was 83 at the time. I went over 2 years without seeing her. I did risk getting sick to go see my daughters, SIL and grandkids at Christmas. The thought of being alone over Christmas was too much to bear. I did wear a mask if I had to get out.
I stopped going grocery shopping which I didn’t do often anyway. When I was suffering from severe depression I had switched to pickup and I just did pickup all the time during covid.
While life changed dramatically for a lot of people, my life changed very little. I think I may have had covid the end of February 2020 but nothing had been said about it at that time. Since then I have never contracted covid.
The pandemic brought out the worst of people. They became ruder, pushier and greedy. People hoarded basic necessities because they would never dream of doing without or with less.
It has made me aware of how unprepared we are as a nation and how unprepared I am as an individual for another pandemic. The Trump administration handled it so poorly and lies were spread, so normally intelligent people were duped into believing falsehoods, just like they believe the lies about vaccines now. My friend’s young adult brother died because they refused the vaccination, believing the lies.
I pray there is not another pandemic in my lifetime, my children’s lifetime and my grandchildren’s lifetime but I know that is unlikely.
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
I am a woman, one of the last reared with old fashioned ideas. Things like the man worked and the woman stayed home. The man managed his time and pursued his dreams. The woman gave up all of her time and gave up her dreams.
So no I don’t say no to things that interfere with my goals. In fact as sad as it is, I can’t remember ever having a goal beyond losing weight to please my ex-husband.
If anyone knows how to change the mindset of the 60s and 70s let me know.
In my former married life I knew a woman who had a lot confidence in herself. As far as she was concerned if there was a problem it was someone else’s fault. She wasn’t happy with her sex life and it was her husband’s fault. A daughter got caught smoking marijuana and it was not the daughter’s fault. The list could go on but she seriously believed and probably still believes she never makes a mistake, confident yes but not wise.
One of my daughters went to live in Europe for one year to work as an au pair. She discovered the mother of the children she had been looking after, had been searching my daughter’s computer. When my daughter discovered this, she said something to the woman, and it was agreed that my daughter would find another family to work for. I don’t remember exactly what happened with the woman but she decided to kick my daughter out before her start date with the new family. My daughter was put on the street with her things in suitcases and garbage bags. This was not an English speaking country. God had her in his hands and a friend of mine contacted a friend of hers who lived in the same city in Europe. This friend who had never met my daughter, went and picked her up and let her stay with her.
My daughter doesn’t necessarily think of herself as super confident person but she’s the bravest person I know. She didn’t come home. She went to work for another family and ended up having a fabulous experience.
So you may be confident, but not wise, and you may not feel confident but be brave.
I don’t believe I am superstitious. My sister was born on a Friday the 13th and that was a lucky day for my family. I own a black cat who continues to cross my path and nothing bad happens. I own two ladders but for safety reasons, I don’t walk under them.
I don’t toss salt over my shoulder because seriously I’d have to clean it up. Never having an encounter with a ghost, I don’t believe in them. However I do believe my cats are fully capable of seeing my guardian angel.
I have no lucky charms or rituals. I’d lose a lucky charm and forget a ritual and do it in the wrong order.
Well done. You have a good life. 100 years is a milestone but it is not necessarily the end. I know you and expect that you have plans for the future.
Your love of learning has always been one of your strongest characteristics. What are you learning now?
Your heart is full of love for your daughters, sons-in-laws, grandchildren and your new great-grandchildren. You’ve left a legacy of God loving family members. They love you and love to learn as you do.
When the time comes to say goodbye to this world and see God face to face you can be comforted knowing He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
France
I’ve had so many things that have contributed to my growth. One that stands out is my 3 month stay in France. I needed time away after my divorce and chose to go to a language school.
I didn’t become fluent in French but I learned I can survive on my own. It also made me realize you can’t run away from your problems or emotions. They stay with you wherever you are and must deal with them.
It took awhile but I did just that. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My relationship with Jesus is deeper and I love waking up in the morning. I went from Despair to Joy.
Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
Friends for 50 years
It’s never easy to say goodbye. I had been friends with the woman in the photo for 50 years. We went to high school together. We were bridesmaids in each other’s wedding. Even though I moved away 43 years ago, I saw her every time I returned home. She also made efforts to come and see me, which I greatly appreciated. I thought we’d be friends until the grave but sometimes you must say goodbye.
She is a very thoughtful and generous person. However, never did she take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was always someone else’s fault. Her unhappy life was caused by other people and mostly because she valued money above all else.
The last straw came when I sent her a video about what I wanted for my life. A woman near 90 was talking about close relationships with people being the most important thing in life, not stuff. I had been talking to her for several years about purging and getting rid of my stuff.
She responded angrily listing the things I had recently spent money on (used furniture) and even things I had while married and no longer have. She was never happy for me. I decided then and there, I couldn’t be her friend anymore. I was tired of a pity party that had lasted 50 years.
And while it broke my heart, I felt a burden lift. For so long I had tried to be a good sounding board but didn’t realize until I walked away how much it had brought me down.
Saying goodbye to a 50 year friendship wasn’t easy but it was necessary.
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?
The Olin Mills Portrait I won on Hollywood Squares.
Life on an unexpected Path
This is the title of my blog and certainly would be the title of a biography. Why? Because while some people live relatively uneventful lives, not boring lives or not good lives, just lives that head in one direction, my life has not been like that.
Moving from the south to the north and going to 5 schools in 2.5 years, going through culture shock was not pleasant. Then a move to the west was another adjustment. We were not poor but we lived in a very wealthy school district. My friend’s dad used to rent a private plane to fly them to Aspen to ski. We lived in a suburb of Denver. They had a maid and a giant house. Again I went to 5 schools in 2.5 years.
The final move of my adolescence was to Las Vegas. Again culture shock, so different from Denver. Hot and dry, slot machines at the grocery store, obviously different style of clothes, not a pair of hiking boots in school and kids from all sorts of different places made this again a difficult adjustment. Every time I struggled to make friends, only to have to make new ones all over again. Now making friends is so difficult.
It wasn’t all bad. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and competed in the National Pageant. Bob Hope was the emcee and it was on national tv. I had a cancer scare at 20. I worked full time while I went to college full time. Hollywood Squares started filming at The Rivera Hotel and my mother said to me, “You think you’re so smart, prove it. Go audition.” That was the summer of 1980. I got the call in December asking me to be a contestant. At this time Hollywood Squares gave away prizes and not cash. I played 3 games and won all 3 games. My opponent was Rick Presley from Corpus Christi, Texas. I also won the large prize package since I won the most games. In 1980 it was valued at $12,000. Today it would be valued at $47,000. I still have one of the prizes I won. That great high was followed by a broken heart.
Met my ex on a blind date and had a letter writing long distance courtship. Married after only 12 days of actually being together, followed by another move to Iowa and then one to Texas.
I won’t go on. I know millions of people have had more difficult lives but when you are in the middle of change or a challenge it can seem overwhelming. Maybe someday I’ll actually write an autobiography about how to survive and thrive when life gives you many detours.
I adopted Lily this summer two weeks before I broke my ankle. I also adopted Remy. Remy has grown into a big, black cat who loves to lay with her head in my lap.
Lily is a tiny cat. They were both born around the same time. And as calm and relaxed as Remy is, Lily is the total opposite. She races through the house. Lily jumps long distances knocking things over. She climbs my drapes and even pulled the rod apart.
Lily’s handiwork
I love her. I’d just like a break from the constant concern that I will come home after work and something valuable will be broken.
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
I am scared to retire. Not having an earned income scares me. I have enough money to retire but it still scares me to retire. Would I have a purpose? How would I fill my days? Who would hug me and tell me they love me? (I am a nanny to 3 wonderful children). What if the stock market crashes? Would my depression return? Would the kids forget who I am?
If I win a massive amount of money which gave me the freedom to do anything I wanted, I would consider retiring but I couldn’t guarantee I would.
I grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada. You learned very early that the odds are in favor of the house. I mean, look at the strip. It is built on the money people leave behind.
People confuse lotteries and raffles. They think someone has to win the lottery and this is false. No one ever has to win the lottery. The pot can continue to grow. There’s never a guaranteed winner ever.
However, with a raffle you buy one or more tickets in a specified time frame. Then a ticket is drawn, and whoever’s name and number is on the ticket wins. There is always a guaranteed winner with a raffle. And I won one in December at a Church preschool raffle, which raised money for preschool. All of the raffle prizes were given away.
I rarely buy a lottery ticket, but I know the first thing I would do if I ever won. I would call a tax attorney ASAP.
My life on an unexpected path 