I can’t say there is one song that changed my life. I can say there are many songs that saw me through the tough spots in my life. Forgive the commercials on the links.
First broken heart: Bee Gees, how can you mend a broken heart?
What’s the worst travel experience you’ve ever had?
When I was 21 years old, I was on the game show Hollywood squares. One of the prizes I won was an all expense paid trip for two to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I invited my dear friend Michele to join me and we opted to go in late August which would have been the end of winter for them, but it has a temperate climate so the weather was good.
It was a seven day six night trip. We were young and when I was determining the dates I counted incorrectly and when it was time to return home, we got to the airport one full day late. We panicked because we had to be back to university in a couple days.
This was back in 1981 and very few people spoke English in Brazil and neither of us spoke Portuguese. No one at the airport could help us, because my tickets had no cash value since I had won them as a prize. Neither one of us could afford to buy new tickets, and our parents were not in financial positions to buy us new tickets. We decided to take a taxi to an airline office. It’s been so long ago that I can’t even remember the name of the airline.
Fortunately the agent spoke some English and we explained our situation. Being very emotional I started crying because I really didn’t know how we were gonna get home. The agent was so kind. She ended up giving us two complimentary tickets on her airline and I will say this airline was much better and nicer than the airline. We originally flew down on which was based in Columbia.
Again, this is before the advent of any type of personal cell phones and we had no idea how we were going to contact our parents about the change of arrival in Los Angeles. Another cab ride to the American embassy and we managed to slip in the door as someone was leaving.
By the grace of God, we were able to speak with someone in the U.S. Navy who allowed us to call home. We made one call to Michele’s parents with the new arrival information.
Back to the airport for a very long day waiting for our departure. We finally departed. We changed planes in Peru and finally reached Los Angeles.
Looking back I realized my mistake. We left the west coast of the U.S. and flew to the east coast of Brazil. There was a stop over with a change of planes in Bogota, Columbia. It never occurred to me our first day of the trip was the day we left and not the day we arrived. Hence, I began counting on the wrong day.
It was a stressful lesson but it’s also a a mistake I’ve never made again.
What’s a personal mantra or philosophy you live by?
Sadly many Christians have forgotten these simple commands. They’ve chosen the road of the Pharisees. However these words are what I live by and do my best in all my actions to carry them out.
From the book of Mark
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a]31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.”
What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
I’ve spent most of my life determining how I felt about myself by what other people said and thought. This caused me to doubt my decision decisions and make rash decisions. It caused me to have a massive fear of abandonment which intern encourage me to make bad decisions.
The only opinions that matters is God’s opinion of me and what I think of me.
I’d like to go back to my 16th birthday with all of my knowledge and wisdom accumulated through 16-67 still with me.
I’d like to know what my life would have been like if I had chosen my dream over a boyfriend. I wish I had found a way to tell my dad I would find a way to study in Europe. I wouldn’t spend one second worried what others thought of me. I’d have confidence. I’d pursue joy. I would have gotten help for my depression even though I did not have support from my parents.
Then I’d like to look at my two life paths and chose one.
How do you write what people actually want to read?
When I got divorced, I was devastated. I went from a very comfortable secure life to a life not knowing how I’d support myself. $9000 cash and no spousal support left me raiding retirement.
I started this blog and named it Liferewritten because I felt like that’s what I needed to do. I needed to change my life and take it from an unhappy marriage, followed by a devastating divorce to something better.
So rather than complaining to my daughters or ruminating over my heartbreak, I would vent on the blog.
A couple years ago, I went back and deleted my darkest, saddest and most angry blogs. I wanted to separate myself from those memories, but I wish I hadn’t deleted them. I would like to see how far I’ve come.
So I write to share my journey and if no one reads it that’s okay, but it leaves a record of my life for my daughters.
I agreed to marry a man I didn’t really know. We had 4 dates and he asked me to get married and I said yes. We married 4 months later. My parents drove me to Iowa with my belongs. I stayed a week and returned home.
We didn’t see each other again until a few days before the wedding. I knew almost nothing about his family or their family dynamics. If I had, I would have never married him. I didn’t know any of his faults or struggles. If I had known them, I would have never married him.
If I had known he had no interests, never read books, was not interested in what was happening in the world, hated museums and only wanted to drink alcohol or lie on a beach or lie by a pool, I would have run away.
I can’t say I have ever felt at home anywhere. I didn’t feel at home growing up because I was odd man out plus we moved several times between ages 9-14.
First house I bought 1986
Then when I married we rented and lived in 4 places in 3 years. When we finally bought a house, I definitely felt grown up. And it probably felt more like home than any place I’ve lived in since then.
My idea of home is family and my family hasn’t been together for 14 years. We don’t have to live in the same house but near enough to get together.
So for now and the foreseeable future, I have a place to live but it’s not home.
If the salary was the same, what job would you be doing right now and why?
I love my job. The hours are long and everyday I have a different challenges but everyday begins with hugs and smiles. And I end my day the same way it began with hugs and kisses.
I am a full time nanny for a family with 3 children. I’ve been with them for 10 years this October. The kids are 11,almost 9 and 5.5. There are two boys and one girl.
Which fictional world would be the most fun to vacation/live in?
Without a doubt either Three Pines or St. Denis.
Three Pines is a fictional village located in Québec and borders the U.S. it is home to a close knit community comprised of:
Clara Morrow- Artist and resident of Three Pines
Peter Morrow- Married to Clara. An artist who lives in Three Pines
Ruth Zardo- Poet Living in Three Pines with her pet duck
Myrna Landers- Former psychologist who runs the bookstore in Three Pines
Gabri Dubeau – Owner of the bistro and B&B
Olivier Brulé – Co-owner of the bistro and B&B, and Gabri’s partner
Armand Gamache- Chief Inspector of the Sûreté du Québec
Reine-Marie Gamache -Armand’s Wife
The café is a local gathering place with a large fireplace, delicious food and a hot bed of gossip. Everyone looks after each other in this village named for the three large pines in the community’s green space. Why three pines? It’s is said loyalists during the American Revolution could find sanctuary in these Canadian towns.
The second but equally desirable place is the fictional town of St. Denis, Dordogne, France. You’ll find a close knit community who care for each other. Bruno is an excellent cook, has a love of Bassett hounds and seems to always getting involved in unsolved crimes.
Benoît “Bruno” Courrèges is the sole municipal police chief of St. Denis and a former soldier who served in Bosnia. He prefers community-based policing over strict law enforcement, often protecting locals from distant European Union bureaucracies. Deeply embedded in the culture of Périgord, he acts as a youth sports coach, makes his own walnut wine, and functions as the guardian of the town’s traditions. His peaceful routine is disrupted when he must assist national authorities in a sensitive local murder case.
As the books progress more characters are introduced and Bruno builds a deeply committed relationship with these people from various backgrounds.
Again you’ll find regular dinners hosted by this community of friends. Many times with Bruno doing the cooking. He has a large garden of herbs, tomatoes, vegetables. He truffle hunts with his basset hound.
I’d be happy to live in either of these two places.
Thanks to book companion and super summary for character lists.
Supporting Characters
•
Fat Jeanne: Known for her unique appearance, adds local color to the narrative.
Madame Verniet: An elderly farmer’s widow, representing the older generation of St. Denis.
Jo-Jo: A photographer who captures the essence of village life.
Diem: A Vietnamese acquaintance of Bruno, showcasing the multicultural aspect of the community.
When you have bottled up anger due to injustice and must engage with people who have no idea of how to engage in rational conversation, you just have to rant.
Science has determined that many miscarriages are caused by faulty sperm. Sperm that have defects or are unhealthy due to a man’s chosen lifestyle.
Laws now prohibit lifesaving measures to women experiencing miscarriage which according to new science isn’t probably her fault. When I suggested men who produce unwanted pregnancies, produce children they refuse to support, abuse their children or have a partner who continually miscarries due to faulty sperm be require to get a vasectomy, the response was along the lines of how dare men’s reproductive rights be hindered.
When at the same time supporting regulated control of women’s reproductive rights. It makes me so angry. Men have ruled since time began and women are still seen as second class citizens to be controlled. With this administration, the persecution has gotten worse.
I live in a state where women are being denied healthcare and dying because termination of a pregnancy is illegal. It doesn’t take a deep search to find multiple cases of this.
I doubt I’ll see any change in my lifetime and I feel sorry for my daughters, nieces, granddaughters, and all the future women who have to deal with this injustice.
What’s the weirdest coincidence you’ve ever experienced?
When my daughters were learning to drive I reminded them that we lived in a relatively small community and that I knew a lot of people. So to make sure they were always driving their best because there’s a good chance someone I know will see them rolling through a stop sign or speeding through a stoplight or talking on their cell phone, etc..
My girls just nodded their head and rolled their eyes and thought yeah right mom.
Then over the course of about three or four months, we ran into their dentist at Disney World, their dad’s cousin had a huge flea market in East Texas, a pilot and his wife with their kids in New York City and my next-door neighbor reported he saw my oldest roll through a stop sign.
After that series of coincidences, my girls believed me when I said, I knew someone everywhere.
Many years ago I was a runner up in a Fort Worth Star Telegram contest about the serendipitous meeting of my spouse. He’s my ex-spouse now.
Summer of 1981, my dad rented a small single engine airplane and flew my mom and him back to Iowa. It was my dad’s 25th high school reunion. (For reference my 50th reunion is next year.)
They hired a young pilot to fly them to their final destination and paid for him to return home. My dad was the friendliest man alive. He invited this pilot out to Las Vegas (our home) and said he’d set him up with his daughter.
After the stop in Iowa they were headed for a meeting in Minneapolis/St.Paul. However my dad’s pilot license only allowed him to fly if he could see the ground. The day they left SE Iowa and flew north it because cloudy and they were forced to land in Waterloo, IA.
Six months later this pilot showed up and my dad paid for him to take me out. Yes pathetic but Daddy was very generous.
On New Year’s Day the pilot returned from California and asked me out again. This second meeting we really clicked. Three months later we were engaged and married by August.
I always thought about if it had been a sunny day we would have never met.
Our marriage lasted 30 years before he moved onto someone younger, but he gave me the greatest gift. I have two beautiful, loving, generous and Christ loving daughters and he is their dad.
If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would it be and why?
I already have one tattoo. It says La Vie est belle. It’s French for Life is beautiful. I’d get one that said, Savourez la vie and pray it is a correct translation of Savor life.
I happen to glance over at the window and this is what I saw. Rémy sitting on the window sill but rather than watching the birds outside, she had her eye on me.
She is a sweet cat, big, black and fluffy. Her sister is small, is black and white and is always darting from room to room, scaring me.
They couldn’t be more different but they make life interesting.
If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?
Do not rush through life trying to reach all the milestones. Savor being single, travel, move to France, wait to marry and have kids. Explore opportunities, write that book.
Just do not rush for fear those milestones will never happen.
For most of my life I was a control freak. The more I controlled, the more anxiety I had but was convinced if I had control the anxiety would be relieved.
Ask my daughters and they will confirm I did my best to control everyone and everything around me. It’s genetic. My grandmother controlled my mother. My mother did her best to control me but wasn’t always successful.
I didn’t control my girls as much, but I definitely exercised control when I could.
Then one day I realized that control was a mirage. I never had had control. When my world came crashing down, it was a tough lesson.
Now I understand control is a mirage. The only constant is the Lord. And He is always full of surprises.
So mostly now I don’t even think about uncertainty. As long as I live, what happens in life will be uncertain. And I can trust it’ll all work out.
I find myself in a weird spot. I moved to my current location because my Daughter and Son-in-law were here, but when he finished his medical residency, they moved to Northeastern Pennsylvania my younger daughter lives in Sunny Southern California. I cannot afford to live in either one of those places.
My friends from before being divorced have not stayed in contact even though I’ve tried. A couple do stay in contact, but they are very rich and travel and have second homes. They’re always going on trips and I can’t afford to do that plus they are married or they’re single with money.
I am divorced. I work full-time as a Nanny. I’m not a widow. I’m not retired. I’m obviously not married and sadly I find that most women in my age bracket are either married, retired, or widowed. I’m not free to do things during the day and as often as I hear, I love friends in all age brackets, I’ve yet to have one Mother younger than I am, invite me for coffee.
I try to understand because they see me as their mother and not as a potential friend.
I’ve searched online for social groups, but at my age they seem to all meet during the day and I’m not available. I do go to church but again I find no women in my current life stage.
The town I live in is not super small, but it’s not a metropolitan area. There are no museums. There are no concerts for well-known acts. The local community college needs all sorts of paperwork that I no longer have, to be admitted to take a class. I drive to the largest metropolitan area sometimes on the weekend to take cooking classes, but everybody in the class lives in that area and I’m over an hour away. I do go to a library book club but it’s super small and everyone is busy.
This town does not feel like home because Home is where your heart is and my heart is in Pennsylvania and California. I pray diligently and faithfully that God will lead me in the direction I need to go. I just haven’t heard God speak to me in so many years.
