Posted in life

1001

What jobs have you had?

My first job like many girls was babysitting. I was 11 and made .50 cents an hour. By the time I was 13, I was making .75 cents/hour and before I was 14, it was $1.00/hour.

Between my junior and senior year of high school at the age of 16, I had my first “real” job. I was hired at Broadway Department store. I made $2.75/ hour. That was 50 years ago and the store has long since vanished. However it was the nicest department store in Las Vegas at the time and at the only mall in town.

As a freshman in college I was hired at an upscale children’s boutique owned by my billiards professor and his wife. I was making $3.25/hour plus if we sold $2070 on one day we each received a $20 bonus. We could easily reach that goal everyday in the summer. The store’s original location was at the MGM Grand Hotel. The original one which had a tragic fire and was located at Flamingo and the Strip. I helped open the location at Caesar’s Palace’s newly open shopping area. I met Patrick Duffy. He was the Man from Atlantis at the time and subsequently Bobby Ewing in Dallas. I helped Sammy Davis Jr. I met Tina Sinatra. And my most memorable day was when an old man, dressed in scruffy jeans and t-shirt with long hair in a ponytail walked in with a statuesque blonde.

She began shopping and purchased many expensive things. I don’t remember the exact amount but I know it exceeded $2,000. That would be over $8,000 in today’s money. I had no idea who they were until he returned to the store and handed me an American Express Credit card. It was exactly like the commercial. I looked at the card and recognized the name. There was no electronic approval back then. $2,000 was the store’s limit so I had to call AMEX for approval.

The man on the phone asked the amount and name on the card, I said Willie Nelson. The man on the phone didn’t believe me. I had to convince him that the man himself was standing before me.

Now for those of you who are surprised I didn’t recognize Willie, remember I was 20 years old and didn’t listen to country music.

I left that job so I could make $5.00/hour at a brand new Sax Fifth Avenue. I helped stock and open that store. It is still there in the Fashion Show Mall on the strip.

I married and moved to Iowa. I became the assistant manager of a young adult female clothing store. Ended up leaving that job to be a mom.

So that began my career as cook, cleaning lady, chauffeur, healthcare provider, nursemaid, therapist, meal planner, money manager and more responsibilities that any one person should have.

During the time my girls were teenagers I worked part time at Kohls and substitute taught.

I earned my real estate license and began selling houses in 2006. I found myself divorced in Jan 2016. I kept selling real estate but wasn’t making enough to support myself. I eventually moved to the central Texas town where I remain to this day.

After 4 full years of earning very little money to no money, I was blessed with finding a job through my daughter as a nanny. Initially it was part time and in less than a year it went to full time. That was 10 years ago. My employers added two more children for a total of 3.

Funny thing is I am back doing much of what I did when I was a full time stay at home mother. The only difference is I get paid for my services now.

There are many things I would have liked to be but I’ve accepted my calling is to love and care for those around me.

Posted in life

Absolutely

Do you remember life before the internet?

I noticed everyone is mentioning their Generation name. I am a Generation Jones, 1955-1964.

I remember hours in the library researching for assignments, trying to find the books with the information I needed. I remember searching for books in the library to read for enjoyment.

I remember consulting a book on how to care for a baby. Books for self help, on health, on travel. There was an endless supply of information. And most of them had footnotes so you could check where the information had originated.

I remember calling my relatives and friends when I needed help and information. And in turn they would call me.

Today information and misinformation are at our fingertips. It can be difficult to discern which is which. Falsehoods are believed because they are on the internet. Which has damaged healthcare in the U.S. and also perception has been woefully skewed. We can stay in contact with long lost friends to the point we have no real people in our lives.

I do enjoying shopping online since I live in a town with few choices. I enjoy the ability to send snapshots and receive snapshots of the people I love. I love being able to find the information I need in a short time, but it’s not all good.

What I miss most are handwritten letters. We can send instant messages via phone or email. But every day I am sadden when I open my mailbox and see nothing but advertisements and there are no letters.

I miss the ability to leave the day’s work behind and not have it follow me home via the phone or computer.

It’s not possible to say if before or after the internet is better. They both have things to offer and I remind myself I can turn off my phone and computer.

Posted in life

Having it all

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

I suppose the answer is different for everyone. Can someone actually have it all? I thought I had it all then learned painfully over 30 years it was all a lie. More than anything I wanted a faithful, loving husband who was a good father but I refused to accept the truth. He was neither of those things. I thought the big house, luxury vehicle, trips, beautiful furnishings etc was having it all. I was WRONG!

As my life drastically changed, I felt I had lost everything only to realized I had everything that I truly valued. My daughters were the single most important part of my life and as long as we loved each other, I had it all.

And slowly with moving my focus to my relationship with God, growing closer to my daughters, letting go of wrong ideas, my happiness grew.

Happiness abounds now. I have peace, internal and eternal peace. I need nothing. God has provided for all of my needs. I do my best not to dwell on the years I wasted because each day is a glorious gift.

Posted in choices, communication, depression, divorce, Experience, life, marriage, mistakes

Jesse

Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

As I have said before, I suffered from deep depression post divorce. I tried various counselors but they all put the blame for my depression on me. They said it was the way I thought. They never acknowledged how I had been treated.

Then through a groups counseling program I met Jesse. He was getting his masters in Social worker and needed so many hours of working as a counselor. My budget was very tight because I had been without a job for 3 years. Since he was working under the guidance of a licensed Social Worker, he couldn’t charge me. I could pay him any amount I could afford.

He was the first and only therapist that acknowledged I had been emotional abused. Jess also told me in a very straight forward manor, it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way and I had every right to be angry and sad and depressed.

That is when I started to heal. Being acknowledged, having your feelings acknowledged validated me. He didn’t allow me to wallow in self pity but knowing my hurt and sadness was okay made all the difference.

Posted in life

City Council

What do you do to be involved in the community?

Today I attended my first City Council meeting. I went to see my sweet bonus grandson be honored by the mayor for environmental awareness and learning about ecology for a better world.

We weren’t able to get into the room because so many people had shown up at the meeting. We had to watch on a big screen TV. Were they always this full. I suspect not. Currently our city council has voted to approve a data center, which the entire community was opposed to, so they’re trying to recall the mayor and all the council members.

I realized I think I want to start going to city council meetings. What better way to learn what’s going on in my community and possibly make a difference through speaking for or against a decision.

That is how I want to get involved in my community.

Posted in Blogging, choices, favorite, friends, help, life

Various

List the people you admire and look to for advice…

I don’t look to one single person for advice. I only know one person in my circle whom I would go to for advice. And I would even hesitate to ask her.

The one person in my family I’d ask for advice is my daughter. (I’ll let them decide which one I’m referring to). she’s level headed and wise beyond her years. I hesitate to ask her for advice because she doesn’t like to give advice.

Of course I turn to Jesus and the Bible. That is most reliable source of advice. I can’t say I am always happy with what it is, but I’m always guaranteed things will eventually work out if I rely on what I read and the Lord I know.

Posted in life

When Pollen is gone

When do you feel most productive?

I’ve been battling allergy induced asthma since December. Most will say pollen allergies are not around in the winter. That’s true unless you live near cedar trees. Cedar trees are the only trees that pollinate in the winter. Here in central Texas cedar is everywhere.

Sadly that means I haven’t been productive. Thankfully I’m finally getting a maintenance inhaler which should help a great deal because my list is long of things I want to do and things I need to do.

Posted in choices, daily prompt, Experience, Fun, life

Solo Travel

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

I won $500 in 1977 in a speech contest. I put in it the bank. I started my freshman year of university, lived at home and worked almost full time.

Advertised on campus was a six week tour of Europe for students. It cost $1800 which was a huge sum of money for me but I took a leap of faith, signed up and paid the deposit.

For the entire school year I saved every possible penny. I even would pick up pennies on the ground and save them. By May I paid for the trip in full.

This entire time, my friends were telling me it was a ripoff and fake. I had faith.

My parents drove me to Los Angeles and I met up with the group. I was scared and nervous. Except for a quick trip to Canada years earlier, I had never left the country.

I spent the next six weeks on a bus, a ship and ferry with other university students, staying in hostels and basic hotels as we traveled to 13 countries.

Outstanding memories: going through Checkpoint Charlie into East Berlin and being told not to lose our passports because the U.S. couldn’t help us and we’d be stuck.

Not being allowed into Yugoslavia until one of the male students cut off his beard to verify he was the same guy in his passport photo.

Going to our tour guide’s family home in Austria and having homemade strudel.

Some of the countries I visited no longer exist. It was a different time then. But this trip, instilled in me a love of traveling and being brave enough to go when I knew no one.

Posted in daily prompt, divorce, Experience, fear, help, Learning, life, memories

Believe people

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

I have heard when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. I wish I had heard this years ago and taken it to heart.

Throughout my marriage my now ex-husband showed me who he was. He cheated but always promised he would stop. He used nasty pornography but when caught, always promised he’d stop. My daughter and I asked him to quit drinking. He said he didn’t have a problem. Her response was why do I find you passed out of the sofa? He was wanted by the police for illegal sexual behavior but always promised he’d never do it again. At the end he admitted to using prostitutes.

And even then I stayed almost another 3 years. My trusting heart always believed he would stop but he never did. He asked for the divorce not me. Crazy isn’t it when I think about it.

Six years into our marriage he admitted going to a live sex act club in Sydney, Australia. I wish I had acted then and left him. I stayed another 24 years. While my heart would have been sad it wouldn’t have been shattered by 30 years of mistreatment.

So when people show you who they are, believe them!!

Posted in life

Unprepared

What makes you nervous?

I am a planner. Always have been always will be.

I get very nervous if I am not prepared. I tend to think of everything that could go wrong, so I do my best to plan for most possibilities.

Of course I can’t plan for everything but I find comfort in a plan.

Posted in life

Timed sport

What Olympic sports do you enjoy watching the most?

After the fiasco with the ice skating scoring during the Winter Olympics, I prefer timed events.

Posted in life

Delivery and Pickup

How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

I work for doctors as their nanny. They had to continue to work during the pandemic. My schedule didn’t change. I show up at 7:15 and stay until 5:30. Preschool was cancelled so I had the boys all day. They are sweet most of the time and fun to be around. It kept what could have been a very lonely time from being so lonely. We didn’t wear masks together since they were so young. Their mom would come in and shower in the back room, changing her clothes as not to bring Covid in the house because she had patients who would come in despite knowing they had Covid putting her, the entire staff and all their families at risk. The dad contacted a mild case of Covid early on but had to quarantine for 3 weeks. None of us caught it.

I was unable to go and see my mother who was 83 at the time. I went over 2 years without seeing her. I did risk getting sick to go see my daughters, SIL and grandkids at Christmas. The thought of being alone over Christmas was too much to bear. I did wear a mask if I had to get out.

I stopped going grocery shopping which I didn’t do often anyway. When I was suffering from severe depression I had switched to pickup and I just did pickup all the time during covid.

While life changed dramatically for a lot of people, my life changed very little. I think I may have had covid the end of February 2020 but nothing had been said about it at that time. Since then I have never contracted covid.

The pandemic brought out the worst of people. They became ruder, pushier and greedy. People hoarded basic necessities because they would never dream of doing without or with less.

It has made me aware of how unprepared we are as a nation and how unprepared I am as an individual for another pandemic. The Trump administration handled it so poorly and lies were spread, so normally intelligent people were duped into believing falsehoods, just like they believe the lies about vaccines now. My friend’s young adult brother died because they refused the vaccination, believing the lies.

I pray there is not another pandemic in my lifetime, my children’s lifetime and my grandchildren’s lifetime but I know that is unlikely.

Posted in life

I am a woman of my time

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

I am a woman, one of the last reared with old fashioned ideas. Things like the man worked and the woman stayed home. The man managed his time and pursued his dreams. The woman gave up all of her time and gave up her dreams.

So no I don’t say no to things that interfere with my goals. In fact as sad as it is, I can’t remember ever having a goal beyond losing weight to please my ex-husband.

If anyone knows how to change the mindset of the 60s and 70s let me know.

Posted in life

Confident or brave?

Who is the most confident person you know?

In my former married life I knew a woman who had a lot confidence in herself. As far as she was concerned if there was a problem it was someone else’s fault. She wasn’t happy with her sex life and it was her husband’s fault. A daughter got caught smoking marijuana and it was not the daughter’s fault. The list could go on but she seriously believed and probably still believes she never makes a mistake, confident yes but not wise.

One of my daughters went to live in Europe for one year to work as an au pair. She discovered the mother of the children she had been looking after, had been searching my daughter’s computer. When my daughter discovered this, she said something to the woman, and it was agreed that my daughter would find another family to work for. I don’t remember exactly what happened with the woman but she decided to kick my daughter out before her start date with the new family. My daughter was put on the street with her things in suitcases and garbage bags. This was not an English speaking country. God had her in his hands and a friend of mine contacted a friend of hers who lived in the same city in Europe. This friend who had never met my daughter, went and picked her up and let her stay with her.

My daughter doesn’t necessarily think of herself as super confident person but she’s the bravest person I know. She didn’t come home. She went to work for another family and ended up having a fabulous experience.

So you may be confident, but not wise, and you may not feel confident but be brave.

Posted in life

The 13th and Ladders

Are you superstitious?

I don’t believe I am superstitious. My sister was born on a Friday the 13th and that was a lucky day for my family. I own a black cat who continues to cross my path and nothing bad happens. I own two ladders but for safety reasons, I don’t walk under them.

I don’t toss salt over my shoulder because seriously I’d have to clean it up. Never having an encounter with a ghost, I don’t believe in them. However I do believe my cats are fully capable of seeing my guardian angel.

I have no lucky charms or rituals. I’d lose a lucky charm and forget a ritual and do it in the wrong order.

So no, I am not superstitious.

Posted in life

Ugly Duckling

Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

I am the ugly duckling who grew to be a beautiful swan.

Swans are also very loyal and I am a loyal friend.

Posted in life

Well Done

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

Dede,

Well done. You have a good life. 100 years is a milestone but it is not necessarily the end. I know you and expect that you have plans for the future.

Your love of learning has always been one of your strongest characteristics. What are you learning now?

Your heart is full of love for your daughters, sons-in-laws, grandchildren and your new great-grandchildren. You’ve left a legacy of God loving family members. They love you and love to learn as you do.

When the time comes to say goodbye to this world and see God face to face you can be comforted knowing He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

*photo of my great grandmother

Posted in life

Growing

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

France

I’ve had so many things that have contributed to my growth. One that stands out is my 3 month stay in France. I needed time away after my divorce and chose to go to a language school.

I didn’t become fluent in French but I learned I can survive on my own. It also made me realize you can’t run away from your problems or emotions. They stay with you wherever you are and must deal with them.

It took awhile but I did just that. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My relationship with Jesus is deeper and I love waking up in the morning. I went from Despair to Joy.

Posted in life

Time to say Goodbye

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

Friends for 50 years

It’s never easy to say goodbye. I had been friends with the woman in the photo for 50 years. We went to high school together. We were bridesmaids in each other’s wedding. Even though I moved away 43 years ago, I saw her every time I returned home. She also made efforts to come and see me, which I greatly appreciated. I thought we’d be friends until the grave but sometimes you must say goodbye.

She is a very thoughtful and generous person. However, never did she take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was always someone else’s fault. Her unhappy life was caused by other people and mostly because she valued money above all else.

The last straw came when I sent her a video about what I wanted for my life. A woman near 90 was talking about close relationships with people being the most important thing in life, not stuff. I had been talking to her for several years about purging and getting rid of my stuff.

She responded angrily listing the things I had recently spent money on (used furniture) and even things I had while married and no longer have. She was never happy for me. I decided then and there, I couldn’t be her friend anymore. I was tired of a pity party that had lasted 50 years.

And while it broke my heart, I felt a burden lift. For so long I had tried to be a good sounding board but didn’t realize until I walked away how much it had brought me down.

Saying goodbye to a 50 year friendship wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

Posted in life

Teenage self

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

That’s an easy question for me. Don’t rush. Take your time. No need to rush into marriage. No need to rush to have kids.

Enjoy being single and independent. There is so much to experience in life. Don’t be afraid. Go live in France and learn the language.

And remember God loves me always.