What’s a cultural tradition from another country that you wish existed in yours?
The ability to leave work and worries behind like they do in France. They truly have a joie de vivre that has been lost in the USA. It’s all about money, competition, looks, staying young and so many more things here.
I want to leave all of the behind and embrace life.
List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?
I read between 50 and 75 books a year, more than most but less than many. The books that have had the greatest impact on me this year are:
Theo of Golden by Allen Levi. A must read for anyone who wants a tale of kindness, forgiveness and how both can change you and the recipient.
The List of My Desires by Grégorie Delacourt. What if your dreams could come true because you won the lottery? Would it make it better or worse? What are your real values? Will they change? Will your family change? Can they be trusted? Will you be happier?
Echo Mountain by Lauren Wolk. A tale of the depression and what happens when your life changes. A comfortable life to living on a mountain, struggling to get by. The people who relocated there speak of a witch and stay away from her. Do we judge people before we meet them? Can we let go of the past and embrace the unexpected future?
All these books made me reexamine my own life and the way I think and live.
With no shame I admit I am a reading addict.
What jobs have you had?
My first job like many girls was babysitting. I was 11 and made .50 cents an hour. By the time I was 13, I was making .75 cents/hour and before I was 14, it was $1.00/hour.
Between my junior and senior year of high school at the age of 16, I had my first “real” job. I was hired at Broadway Department store. I made $2.75/ hour. That was 50 years ago and the store has long since vanished. However it was the nicest department store in Las Vegas at the time and at the only mall in town.
As a freshman in college I was hired at an upscale children’s boutique owned by my billiards professor and his wife. I was making $3.25/hour plus if we sold $2070 on one day we each received a $20 bonus. We could easily reach that goal everyday in the summer. The store’s original location was at the MGM Grand Hotel. The original one which had a tragic fire and was located at Flamingo and the Strip. I helped open the location at Caesar’s Palace’s newly open shopping area. I met Patrick Duffy. He was the Man from Atlantis at the time and subsequently Bobby Ewing in Dallas. I helped Sammy Davis Jr. I met Tina Sinatra. And my most memorable day was when an old man, dressed in scruffy jeans and t-shirt with long hair in a ponytail walked in with a statuesque blonde.
She began shopping and purchased many expensive things. I don’t remember the exact amount but I know it exceeded $2,000. That would be over $8,000 in today’s money. I had no idea who they were until he returned to the store and handed me an American Express Credit card. It was exactly like the commercial. I looked at the card and recognized the name. There was no electronic approval back then. $2,000 was the store’s limit so I had to call AMEX for approval.
The man on the phone asked the amount and name on the card, I said Willie Nelson. The man on the phone didn’t believe me. I had to convince him that the man himself was standing before me.
Now for those of you who are surprised I didn’t recognize Willie, remember I was 20 years old and didn’t listen to country music.
I left that job so I could make $5.00/hour at a brand new Sax Fifth Avenue. I helped stock and open that store. It is still there in the Fashion Show Mall on the strip.
I married and moved to Iowa. I became the assistant manager of a young adult female clothing store. Ended up leaving that job to be a mom.
So that began my career as cook, cleaning lady, chauffeur, healthcare provider, nursemaid, therapist, meal planner, money manager and more responsibilities that any one person should have.
During the time my girls were teenagers I worked part time at Kohls and substitute taught.
I earned my real estate license and began selling houses in 2006. I found myself divorced in Jan 2013. I kept selling real estate but wasn’t making enough to support myself. I eventually moved to the central Texas town where I remain to this day.
After 4 full years of earning very little money to no money, I was blessed with finding a job through my daughter as a nanny. Initially it was part time and in less than a year it went to full time. That was 10 years ago. My employers added two more children for a total of 3.
Funny thing is I am back doing much of what I did when I was a full time stay at home mother. The only difference is I get paid for my services now.
There are many things I would have liked to be but I’ve accepted my calling is to love and care for those around me.
Do you remember life before the internet?
I noticed everyone is mentioning their Generation name. I am a Generation Jones, 1955-1964.
I remember hours in the library researching for assignments, trying to find the books with the information I needed. I remember searching for books in the library to read for enjoyment.
I remember consulting a book on how to care for a baby. Books for self help, on health, on travel. There was an endless supply of information. And most of them had footnotes so you could check where the information had originated.
I remember calling my relatives and friends when I needed help and information. And in turn they would call me.
Today information and misinformation are at our fingertips. It can be difficult to discern which is which. Falsehoods are believed because they are on the internet. Which has damaged healthcare in the U.S. and also perception has been woefully skewed. We can stay in contact with long lost friends to the point we have no real people in our lives.
I do enjoying shopping online since I live in a town with few choices. I enjoy the ability to send snapshots and receive snapshots of the people I love. I love being able to find the information I need in a short time, but it’s not all good.
What I miss most are handwritten letters. We can send instant messages via phone or email. But every day I am sadden when I open my mailbox and see nothing but advertisements and there are no letters.
I miss the ability to leave the day’s work behind and not have it follow me home via the phone or computer.
It’s not possible to say if before or after the internet is better. They both have things to offer and I remind myself I can turn off my phone and computer.
What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
I suppose the answer is different for everyone. Can someone actually have it all? I thought I had it all then learned painfully over 30 years it was all a lie. More than anything I wanted a faithful, loving husband who was a good father but I refused to accept the truth. He was neither of those things. I thought the big house, luxury vehicle, trips, beautiful furnishings etc was having it all. I was WRONG!
As my life drastically changed, I felt I had lost everything only to realized I had everything that I truly valued. My daughters were the single most important part of my life and as long as we loved each other, I had it all.
And slowly with moving my focus to my relationship with God, growing closer to my daughters, letting go of wrong ideas, my happiness grew.
Happiness abounds now. I have peace, internal and eternal peace. I need nothing. God has provided for all of my needs. I do my best not to dwell on the years I wasted because each day is a glorious gift.
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
I have heard when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. I wish I had heard this years ago and taken it to heart.
Throughout my marriage my now ex-husband showed me who he was. He cheated but always promised he would stop. He used nasty pornography but when caught, always promised he’d stop. My daughter and I asked him to quit drinking. He said he didn’t have a problem. Her response was why do I find you passed out of the sofa? He was wanted by the police for illegal sexual behavior but always promised he’d never do it again. At the end he admitted to using prostitutes.
And even then I stayed almost another 3 years. My trusting heart always believed he would stop but he never did. He asked for the divorce not me. Crazy isn’t it when I think about it.
Six years into our marriage he admitted going to a live sex act club in Sydney, Australia. I wish I had acted then and left him. I stayed another 24 years. While my heart would have been sad it wouldn’t have been shattered by 30 years of mistreatment.
So when people show you who they are, believe them!!
What is your favorite restaurant?
If you’ve read any of my blog posts you know I have a love of France and the French lifestyle. Food, family, friends all come before work. It’s completely the opposite of the American lifestyle where work comes before anything and anyone.
Years ago I found St. Emilion in Fort Worth. It is a very small restaurant and reservations are needed. From the moment you arrive you are transported out of Texas.
From the menu board, wonderful selection of wine, the delicious food and the unhurried service creates an atmosphere unlike most restaurants in the U.S.
I never felt rushed to finish my meal. Service was attentive but not intrusive. There never was the feeling of we must hurry so someone else can have our table. It was a special time I’ve held on to for years.
Someday I hope to return and dine at St. Émilion.
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?
I work for doctors as their nanny. They had to continue to work during the pandemic. My schedule didn’t change. I show up at 7:15 and stay until 5:30. Preschool was cancelled so I had the boys all day. They are sweet most of the time and fun to be around. It kept what could have been a very lonely time from being so lonely. We didn’t wear masks together since they were so young. Their mom would come in and shower in the back room, changing her clothes as not to bring Covid in the house because she had patients who would come in despite knowing they had Covid putting her, the entire staff and all their families at risk. The dad contacted a mild case of Covid early on but had to quarantine for 3 weeks. None of us caught it.
I was unable to go and see my mother who was 83 at the time. I went over 2 years without seeing her. I did risk getting sick to go see my daughters, SIL and grandkids at Christmas. The thought of being alone over Christmas was too much to bear. I did wear a mask if I had to get out.
I stopped going grocery shopping which I didn’t do often anyway. When I was suffering from severe depression I had switched to pickup and I just did pickup all the time during covid.
While life changed dramatically for a lot of people, my life changed very little. I think I may have had covid the end of February 2020 but nothing had been said about it at that time. Since then I have never contracted covid.
The pandemic brought out the worst of people. They became ruder, pushier and greedy. People hoarded basic necessities because they would never dream of doing without or with less.
It has made me aware of how unprepared we are as a nation and how unprepared I am as an individual for another pandemic. The Trump administration handled it so poorly and lies were spread, so normally intelligent people were duped into believing falsehoods, just like they believe the lies about vaccines now. My friend’s young adult brother died because they refused the vaccination, believing the lies.
I pray there is not another pandemic in my lifetime, my children’s lifetime and my grandchildren’s lifetime but I know that is unlikely.
Who was your most influential teacher? Why?
I took French in Middle School. I chose French because I wanted to be different from my friends.
He was such a wonderful educator. He loved teaching and he hoped we would love his homeland France as much as he did.
He pushed us. He demanded a lot from us but I left those two years madly in love with the French language. And while I am not fluent, I still study it everyday.
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
I don’t watch regular network TV or even standard streaming television. I watch a lot of foreign films and TV shows.
A Walk in the Clouds
Ragnarok tv series
Norwegian retelling of the Nordic Gods story.
Jesus Christ Superstar
Saw it when I was 13. I’ve watched it every Easter since I bought in on DVD.
Toy Story-Need I say more?
I am certain there must be more but these are the ones which stand out for me. A romance, a myth, rock opera and timeless children’s tale.
Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.
Dede,
Well done. You have a good life. 100 years is a milestone but it is not necessarily the end. I know you and expect that you have plans for the future.
Your love of learning has always been one of your strongest characteristics. What are you learning now?
Your heart is full of love for your daughters, sons-in-laws, grandchildren and your new great-grandchildren. You’ve left a legacy of God loving family members. They love you and love to learn as you do.
When the time comes to say goodbye to this world and see God face to face you can be comforted knowing He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
*photo of my great grandmother
Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
It’s never easy to say goodbye. I had been friends with the woman in the photo for 50 years. We went to high school together. We were bridesmaids in each other’s wedding. Even though I moved away 43 years ago, I saw her every time I returned home. She also made efforts to come and see me, which I greatly appreciated. I thought we’d be friends until the grave but sometimes you must say goodbye.
She is a very thoughtful and generous person. However, never did she take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was always someone else’s fault. Her unhappy life was caused by other people and mostly because she valued money above all else.
The last straw came when I sent her a video about what I wanted for my life. A woman near 90 was talking about close relationships with people being the most important thing in life, not stuff. I had been talking to her for several years about purging and getting rid of my stuff.
She responded angrily listing the things I had recently spent money on (used furniture) and even things I had while married and no longer have. She was never happy for me. I decided then and there, I couldn’t be her friend anymore. I was tired of a pity party that had lasted 50 years.
And while it broke my heart, I felt a burden lift. For so long I had tried to be a good sounding board but didn’t realize until I walked away how much it had brought me down.
Saying goodbye to a 50 year friendship wasn’t easy but it was necessary.
Who are your favorite people to be around?
I’d love to live by family but my family is spread out across the U.S. It always seems hectic and emotional when I’m near my family.
On a regular basis my favorite people to be around are the three children I care for daily. The oldest is a 10.5 yr old boy. The middle child is a 8 yr old boy and the youngest is a 5 yr old girl. I’ve cared for them since the eldest was 16 months old. They are my surrogate grandkids.
Each weekday I am guaranteed hugs and a good story and laughter. They remind me to be a better person. I was on a frustrating phone call recently. When it was over, the oldest came out and said, “Mimi you were rude to that person on the phone. You shouldn’t be so rude.” My response was you are absolutely right. I am so sorry I was rude.
They remind me that even the smallest kindness can change someone’s day.
So they are my favorite people to be around.
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?
Life on an unexpected Path
This is the title of my blog and certainly would be the title of a biography. Why? Because while some people live relatively uneventful lives, not boring lives or not good lives, just lives that head in one direction, my life has not been like that.
Moving from the south to the north and going to 5 schools in 2.5 years, going through culture shock was not pleasant. Then a move to the west was another adjustment. We were not poor but we lived in a very wealthy school district. My friend’s dad used to rent a private plane to fly them to Aspen to ski. We lived in a suburb of Denver. They had a maid and a giant house. Again I went to 5 schools in 2.5 years.
The final move of my adolescence was to Las Vegas. Again culture shock, so different from Denver. Hot and dry, slot machines at the grocery store, obviously different style of clothes, not a pair of hiking boots in school and kids from all sorts of different places made this again a difficult adjustment. Every time I struggled to make friends, only to have to make new ones all over again. Now making friends is so difficult.
It wasn’t all bad. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and competed in the National Pageant. Bob Hope was the emcee and it was on national tv. I had a cancer scare at 20. I worked full time while I went to college full time. Hollywood Squares started filming at The Rivera Hotel and my mother said to me, “You think you’re so smart, prove it. Go audition.” That was the summer of 1980. I got the call in December asking me to be a contestant. At this time Hollywood Squares gave away prizes and not cash. I played 3 games and won all 3 games. My opponent was Rick Presley from Corpus Christi, Texas. I also won the large prize package since I won the most games. In 1980 it was valued at $12,000. Today it would be valued at $47,000. I still have one of the prizes I won. That great high was followed by a broken heart.
Met my ex on a blind date and had a letter writing long distance courtship. Married after only 12 days of actually being together, followed by another move to Iowa and then one to Texas.
I won’t go on. I know millions of people have had more difficult lives but when you are in the middle of change or a challenge it can seem overwhelming. Maybe someday I’ll actually write an autobiography about how to survive and thrive when life gives you many detours.
Life on an Unexpected Path.
Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.
My most ideal day would have my daughters, son-in-law and 2 grandchildren with me walking the streets of Paris.
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
Significant events always make me stop and I either take joy in what my life has been or I lament over what my life hasn’t been.
I often think of the song from the musical Rent, Seasons of Love. 525,600 minutes each year. They are deposited in our bank of time and once it’s spent there are no more deposits until Jan 1 of the following year. Once a moment has happened it is gone forever.
Seasons of Love is exactly how I view my life. The love of great-grandparents who shared their garden and help make many wonderful memories. The pain of leaving friends behind when your family moves. The love of a first boyfriend, a most exciting time, which holds such sweet memories. Followed by marriage and the happiness that immediately follows but doesn’t necessarily last.
The season of motherly love for your children. It’s best expressed by this “ having children is like watching your heart walk around in the world.”
Then the shift from a hands-on mother to a behind the scene mother to adult children. They don’t need you often but you’re always there if they do need you.
Then the heartbreak of the love you thought would last forever when it didn’t. Learning to love your new life and succeeding.
A son-in-law and grandkids arrive and love grows exponentially.
Introduce bonus grandkids and now my heart nearly fits inside my chest.
So my life is broken down into Seasons of Love.
And as I age, taking joy in one day is so important. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed and yesterday is gone and won’t return. Today is the most important time.
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
I am scared to retire. Not having an earned income scares me. I have enough money to retire but it still scares me to retire. Would I have a purpose? How would I fill my days? Who would hug me and tell me they love me? (I am a nanny to 3 wonderful children). What if the stock market crashes? Would my depression return? Would the kids forget who I am?
If I win a massive amount of money which gave me the freedom to do anything I wanted, I would consider retiring but I couldn’t guarantee I would.
Recently, I went to a preschool Christmas concert and their parents’s group was having a raffle to raise money. I could get five tickets for $20 and it was for a good cause. I never expected to win anything. Someone right after me bought 60 tickets so I figured my five wouldn’t win. There were 3 incredible raffle choices.
Imagine my surprise when I got a phone call Wednesday morning informing me, I had won the luxury basket worth over $1000. So many wonderful items like a Lola blanket, a skylight calendar, a hatch restore, a diffuser, a spa gift certificate, a car detailing gift certificate and more.
I’ll be honest I had to look up what a skylight calendar and a hatch restore was because I didn’t know.
What surprised me the most is how many people told me they were so glad I won. They thought I really deserved it. I was overwhelmed by their generous and kind thoughts.
I haven’t really been pampered in a very long time. Oh there is the random pedicure and even more random manicure but massages, face treatments, getting my car detailed, I just can’t afford to do those things anymore. So to be showered with so many wonderful luxurious items is an unexpected blessing.
It’s a wonderful way to end the year 2025 and a really great way to begin 2026.
I am not sure how many people will recognize Mr. Bob Hope in the photo, but that is me at 17 years old. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and at the national pageant. It was a wonderful experience. The show was televised but I have never seen it. In 1976 there were no VCRs or DVRs to record a show. I’ve searched the internet for it but so far no luck.
This morning I was no longer 65. Today I am 66. It is always surreal to me when I have a birthday. Why? Because I can quite never figure out how I ended up this old or young depending on your perspective. Having no idea what 66 is supposed to look like or feel like, it will be interesting to discover the answers.
As of now, I still work full-time. Retirement is a possibility but for now I want to work. I enjoy caring for the children whose parents are doctors. I look forward to seeing them each morning. And isn’t that what life is all about, waking up in the morning and looking forward to the day? My life isn’t a whirlwind of travel or life in a second home, but I like my life. It may not be the one I thought I would have when I was 40 or 50 but it’s a good life. It is a peaceful life not just in my daily activities but inside my heart. I feel a deep peace and contentment.
Happy Birthday to Me. May my 66th year be my best yet.
As my girls were growing up we tried different sports. As it turned out they were more interested in music and the arts. So unlike my sister, I never spent my Saturdays at the soccer field. And I was always thankful I didn’t have to sit outside in the cold weather or the unbelievably hot weather we get in Texas.
I love my grandchildren however they live 1,640 miles away. Attending their sporting events or school events is not possible for me. It makes me sad but God has provided me with surrogate grandchildren, three to be exact. The two oldest A and O have begun to play soccer. So I find myself taking the boys to practice and staying until their parent(s) arrive.
The boys asked me to attend their games and I couldn’t turn them down. It touches my heart as I see their big grins when they realize I’ve arrived. Turns out I am a loud cheerleader!! Yelling run, get that ball, go fast etc as they play. With my camera in tow, I’ve begun taking photos and found it to be rewarding. Reminds me to use my camera more often.
So while I may have never been a “soccer mom”, I am now a full fledged “soccer Mimi”.
Know the human body, especially your body, and you’ll be way ahead!
The Power of Story
Pieces of the Whole
Writing New Chapters when Life takes a Detour
read what you love
Enriching my life with books
My life on an unexpected path 