Tag: addiction

Posted in life, Mail

Addiction to Amazon???

Posted on by Dede

Can a person be addicted to Amazon deliveries because I think I am. It’s so easy to sit and peruse Amazon while the boys are napping. And before I know it, I’ve made a purchase. Usually it’s nothing expensive. Almost always it’s a book.

But I have noticed when the delivery man makes a delivery, I’m a little let down when it’s not for me. I’m working on breaking this habit of the thrill I get when the package arrives.

Does anyone else have this problem or am I a lone wolf?

PS I don’t randomly order from other sites, nor do I go shopping much. It’s just Amazon.

Posted in book, book review, books, characters, choices, fictional, friends, love, men, New life, novels, people, strong, Uncategorized, WordPress, Writing

I admit it, I am addict

Posted on by Dede

book

Alright, I may have admitted this before, but it is important we own our addictions. And I have found a new website which happily feeds my addiction. It is Thrift Books. I’ve been using the library for ebooks but sometimes I am impatient and don’t want to be 11th in line for a book, so I feel compelled by my addiction to buy the book. Thrift Books helps me afford to do that but, I am a book addict. I will say it again. I am a book addict. Since January 1st, I have read 38 books. Which means I am averaging one book approximately every 3.8 days. And since last fall I have specifically become addicted to detective mystery series set either in another time or another place. These include:

  • The Armand Gamache Books by Louise Penny – set in Quebec, present day
  • The Maisie Dobbs Books by Jacqueline Winspear- set in England pre and post WWI
  • The Ian Rutledge Books by Charles Todd- set in England post WWI 
  • Bruno, Chief of Police Books by Martin Walker- set in St. Denis area, France, present Day

I am not certain why I have suddenly become addicted to this type of book but I do know why a series captures me. A good writer makes a character real in my mind. These characters become my friends. I think about them. I wonder what they are doing when I am finished with a series. What do I share with each of them.  Each character faces their own demons and identifying with this is easy. I question my choices like Armand. I have been hurt and right now I keep s wall around my emotions like Maisie. Ian struggles with a voice in his head of a lost soldier. I struggle with my own voice chastising me for making so many wrong choices. I long for love like Bruno.

I admire them and their unique qualities. What can I learn from their lives and then incorporate into my own life so I will be happier, more content person.  I want to be a better listener like Armand. I want to be patient like Maisie and not miss the details. I want to push past my fears like Ian. And I want to live a life rich with friends and the love of the simple things like Bruno. I know they are fictional characters but I still learn something about myself through each book, each story, each struggle and each triumph.

So again, I admit I am an addict, a book addict and I hope I never am cured.

 

Posted in Faith, fear, forgiveness, God, help, Jesus, love, Uncategorized

Gifts of the Crucified Shepherd – A Quiet Heart

Posted on by Dede

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.”Psalm 23:2-3a  He first noticed that he was getting tired easily.  Then it seemed like he was worn out all day long. Then, as he tells the story, he started to be able to hear his heart beat.  That…

http://lwlutherland.blogspot.com/2016/02/gifts-of-crucified-shepherd-quiet-heart.html

Posted in communication, daughters, depression, divorce, Experience, fear, forgiveness, God, Health, help, love, marriage, men, mistakes, New life, Uncategorized, WordPress

Addiction Intervention 

Posted on by Dede

 

I watched A&E’s tv show Intervention. It focuses on drug addicts that agree to do a documentary but in the end there is an intervention. Two things stood out to me while watching the show:
1st: I missed multiple opportunities to insist on intervention with my ex-husband and his addictions. Had I been honest with myself and my friends from the first time the police called, there might have been a chance to save him and save our marriage. But instead just like some of the family members on the tv show, I chose to ignore the seriousness of his addictions and how destructive they were and still are.

2nd: I saw too many silimaritirs between drug addiction and the way it destroys families and my depression. I don’t drink or use drugs but I’ve allowed my depression to become an addiction. I’ve taken steps to get help and I’m slowly getting better. But seeing first hand how heartbroken the families are watching their loved ones suffer and how much suffering it causes them made me realize I have to fight harder. 

I have to fight every second of every day to forgive myself for allowing my ex-husband to mentally and emotionally abuse me. I have to fight to forgive myself for not leaving. I have to forgive myself for disappointing my daughters. 

I have wonderful girls. They make me proud and happy everyday. They along with my son-in-law have stood by me. They have been strong and stood up to their father and refused to accept his behavior and his failure to admit his addictions and how he has hurt our family. They’ve also been strong and stood up to me and told me they know I can do better, be better and be happier.

All I can do is face the reality of my situation and fight my way back. I never deserved to be treated the way I was. I never deserved to be disrespected, ignored or cheated on. I deserve so much more.