Posted in life

1001

What jobs have you had?

My first job like many girls was babysitting. I was 11 and made .50 cents an hour. By the time I was 13, I was making .75 cents/hour and before I was 14, it was $1.00/hour.

Between my junior and senior year of high school at the age of 16, I had my first “real” job. I was hired at Broadway Department store. I made $2.75/ hour. That was 50 years ago and the store has long since vanished. However it was the nicest department store in Las Vegas at the time and at the only mall in town.

As a freshman in college I was hired at an upscale children’s boutique owned by my billiards professor and his wife. I was making $3.25/hour plus if we sold $2070 on one day we each received a $20 bonus. We could easily reach that goal everyday in the summer. The store’s original location was at the MGM Grand Hotel. The original one which had a tragic fire and was located at Flamingo and the Strip. I helped open the location at Caesar’s Palace’s newly open shopping area. I met Patrick Duffy. He was the Man from Atlantis at the time and subsequently Bobby Ewing in Dallas. I helped Sammy Davis Jr. I met Tina Sinatra. And my most memorable day was when an old man, dressed in scruffy jeans and t-shirt with long hair in a ponytail walked in with a statuesque blonde.

She began shopping and purchased many expensive things. I don’t remember the exact amount but I know it exceeded $2,000. That would be over $8,000 in today’s money. I had no idea who they were until he returned to the store and handed me an American Express Credit card. It was exactly like the commercial. I looked at the card and recognized the name. There was no electronic approval back then. $2,000 was the store’s limit so I had to call AMEX for approval.

The man on the phone asked the amount and name on the card, I said Willie Nelson. The man on the phone didn’t believe me. I had to convince him that the man himself was standing before me.

Now for those of you who are surprised I didn’t recognize Willie, remember I was 20 years old and didn’t listen to country music.

I left that job so I could make $5.00/hour at a brand new Sax Fifth Avenue. I helped stock and open that store. It is still there in the Fashion Show Mall on the strip.

I married and moved to Iowa. I became the assistant manager of a young adult female clothing store. Ended up leaving that job to be a mom.

So that began my career as cook, cleaning lady, chauffeur, healthcare provider, nursemaid, therapist, meal planner, money manager and more responsibilities that any one person should have.

During the time my girls were teenagers I worked part time at Kohls and substitute taught.

I earned my real estate license and began selling houses in 2006. I found myself divorced in Jan 2016. I kept selling real estate but wasn’t making enough to support myself. I eventually moved to the central Texas town where I remain to this day.

After 4 full years of earning very little money to no money, I was blessed with finding a job through my daughter as a nanny. Initially it was part time and in less than a year it went to full time. That was 10 years ago. My employers added two more children for a total of 3.

Funny thing is I am back doing much of what I did when I was a full time stay at home mother. The only difference is I get paid for my services now.

There are many things I would have liked to be but I’ve accepted my calling is to love and care for those around me.

Posted in life

Absolutely

Do you remember life before the internet?

I noticed everyone is mentioning their Generation name. I am a Generation Jones, 1955-1964.

I remember hours in the library researching for assignments, trying to find the books with the information I needed. I remember searching for books in the library to read for enjoyment.

I remember consulting a book on how to care for a baby. Books for self help, on health, on travel. There was an endless supply of information. And most of them had footnotes so you could check where the information had originated.

I remember calling my relatives and friends when I needed help and information. And in turn they would call me.

Today information and misinformation are at our fingertips. It can be difficult to discern which is which. Falsehoods are believed because they are on the internet. Which has damaged healthcare in the U.S. and also perception has been woefully skewed. We can stay in contact with long lost friends to the point we have no real people in our lives.

I do enjoying shopping online since I live in a town with few choices. I enjoy the ability to send snapshots and receive snapshots of the people I love. I love being able to find the information I need in a short time, but it’s not all good.

What I miss most are handwritten letters. We can send instant messages via phone or email. But every day I am sadden when I open my mailbox and see nothing but advertisements and there are no letters.

I miss the ability to leave the day’s work behind and not have it follow me home via the phone or computer.

It’s not possible to say if before or after the internet is better. They both have things to offer and I remind myself I can turn off my phone and computer.

Posted in life

Having it all

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

I suppose the answer is different for everyone. Can someone actually have it all? I thought I had it all then learned painfully over 30 years it was all a lie. More than anything I wanted a faithful, loving husband who was a good father but I refused to accept the truth. He was neither of those things. I thought the big house, luxury vehicle, trips, beautiful furnishings etc was having it all. I was WRONG!

As my life drastically changed, I felt I had lost everything only to realized I had everything that I truly valued. My daughters were the single most important part of my life and as long as we loved each other, I had it all.

And slowly with moving my focus to my relationship with God, growing closer to my daughters, letting go of wrong ideas, my happiness grew.

Happiness abounds now. I have peace, internal and eternal peace. I need nothing. God has provided for all of my needs. I do my best not to dwell on the years I wasted because each day is a glorious gift.

Posted in choices, communication, depression, divorce, Experience, life, marriage, mistakes

Jesse

Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

As I have said before, I suffered from deep depression post divorce. I tried various counselors but they all put the blame for my depression on me. They said it was the way I thought. They never acknowledged how I had been treated.

Then through a groups counseling program I met Jesse. He was getting his masters in Social worker and needed so many hours of working as a counselor. My budget was very tight because I had been without a job for 3 years. Since he was working under the guidance of a licensed Social Worker, he couldn’t charge me. I could pay him any amount I could afford.

He was the first and only therapist that acknowledged I had been emotional abused. Jess also told me in a very straight forward manor, it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way and I had every right to be angry and sad and depressed.

That is when I started to heal. Being acknowledged, having your feelings acknowledged validated me. He didn’t allow me to wallow in self pity but knowing my hurt and sadness was okay made all the difference.

Posted in choices, daily prompt, Experience, Fun, life

Solo Travel

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

I won $500 in 1977 in a speech contest. I put in it the bank. I started my freshman year of university, lived at home and worked almost full time.

Advertised on campus was a six week tour of Europe for students. It cost $1800 which was a huge sum of money for me but I took a leap of faith, signed up and paid the deposit.

For the entire school year I saved every possible penny. I even would pick up pennies on the ground and save them. By May I paid for the trip in full.

This entire time, my friends were telling me it was a ripoff and fake. I had faith.

My parents drove me to Los Angeles and I met up with the group. I was scared and nervous. Except for a quick trip to Canada years earlier, I had never left the country.

I spent the next six weeks on a bus, a ship and ferry with other university students, staying in hostels and basic hotels as we traveled to 13 countries.

Outstanding memories: going through Checkpoint Charlie into East Berlin and being told not to lose our passports because the U.S. couldn’t help us and we’d be stuck.

Not being allowed into Yugoslavia until one of the male students cut off his beard to verify he was the same guy in his passport photo.

Going to our tour guide’s family home in Austria and having homemade strudel.

Some of the countries I visited no longer exist. It was a different time then. But this trip, instilled in me a love of traveling and being brave enough to go when I knew no one.

Posted in life

A Little bit of France

What is your favorite restaurant?

If you’ve read any of my blog posts you know I have a love of France and the French lifestyle. Food, family, friends all come before work. It’s completely the opposite of the American lifestyle where work comes before anything and anyone.

Years ago I found St. Emilion in Fort Worth. It is a very small restaurant and reservations are needed. From the moment you arrive you are transported out of Texas.

From the menu board, wonderful selection of wine, the delicious food and the unhurried service creates an atmosphere unlike most restaurants in the U.S.

I never felt rushed to finish my meal. Service was attentive but not intrusive. There never was the feeling of we must hurry so someone else can have our table. It was a special time I’ve held on to for years.

Someday I hope to return and dine at St. Émilion.

https://saint-emilionrestaurant.com/

Posted in life

High School Lessons

Describe something you learned in high school.

So many of the lessons I’ve learned came after high school. There is one lesson I remember well though I learned in high school.

As a junior I entered a pageant, Miss Teenage Nevada. I was named Miss Congeniality, made the top ten but didn’t win. I decided to enter again the next year and I asked my mom to buy me a new formal dress for the contest. Her response was, “ No, you’re not going to win anyway, so you don’t need a new dress.” I didn’t let that stop me. I entered again and I won. Yes, wearing the same dress as I did from the year before.

It doesn’t matter if other people don’t believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself. And go for it.

Posted in life

Uncommon Choices

What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?

I don’t watch regular network TV or even standard streaming television. I watch a lot of foreign films and TV shows.

A Walk in the Clouds

My most romantic film

Ragnarok tv series

Norwegian retelling of the Nordic Gods story.

Jesus Christ Superstar

Saw it when I was 13. I’ve watched it every Easter since I bought in on DVD.

Toy Story-Need I say more?

I am certain there must be more but these are the ones which stand out for me. A romance, a myth, rock opera and timeless children’s tale.

Posted in life

The 13th and Ladders

Are you superstitious?

I don’t believe I am superstitious. My sister was born on a Friday the 13th and that was a lucky day for my family. I own a black cat who continues to cross my path and nothing bad happens. I own two ladders but for safety reasons, I don’t walk under them.

I don’t toss salt over my shoulder because seriously I’d have to clean it up. Never having an encounter with a ghost, I don’t believe in them. However I do believe my cats are fully capable of seeing my guardian angel.

I have no lucky charms or rituals. I’d lose a lucky charm and forget a ritual and do it in the wrong order.

So no, I am not superstitious.

Posted in life

Well Done

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

Dede,

Well done. You have a good life. 100 years is a milestone but it is not necessarily the end. I know you and expect that you have plans for the future.

Your love of learning has always been one of your strongest characteristics. What are you learning now?

Your heart is full of love for your daughters, sons-in-laws, grandchildren and your new great-grandchildren. You’ve left a legacy of God loving family members. They love you and love to learn as you do.

When the time comes to say goodbye to this world and see God face to face you can be comforted knowing He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

*photo of my great grandmother

Posted in life

Growing

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

France

I’ve had so many things that have contributed to my growth. One that stands out is my 3 month stay in France. I needed time away after my divorce and chose to go to a language school.

I didn’t become fluent in French but I learned I can survive on my own. It also made me realize you can’t run away from your problems or emotions. They stay with you wherever you are and must deal with them.

It took awhile but I did just that. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My relationship with Jesus is deeper and I love waking up in the morning. I went from Despair to Joy.

Posted in life

Time to say Goodbye

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

Friends for 50 years

It’s never easy to say goodbye. I had been friends with the woman in the photo for 50 years. We went to high school together. We were bridesmaids in each other’s wedding. Even though I moved away 43 years ago, I saw her every time I returned home. She also made efforts to come and see me, which I greatly appreciated. I thought we’d be friends until the grave but sometimes you must say goodbye.

She is a very thoughtful and generous person. However, never did she take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was always someone else’s fault. Her unhappy life was caused by other people and mostly because she valued money above all else.

The last straw came when I sent her a video about what I wanted for my life. A woman near 90 was talking about close relationships with people being the most important thing in life, not stuff. I had been talking to her for several years about purging and getting rid of my stuff.

She responded angrily listing the things I had recently spent money on (used furniture) and even things I had while married and no longer have. She was never happy for me. I decided then and there, I couldn’t be her friend anymore. I was tired of a pity party that had lasted 50 years.

And while it broke my heart, I felt a burden lift. For so long I had tried to be a good sounding board but didn’t realize until I walked away how much it had brought me down.

Saying goodbye to a 50 year friendship wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

Posted in daily prompt, Experience, Goal, Home search, life, Sew, Sewing

Clear the Cobwebs

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

This is not my house but it could be. For several years now, I’ve been trying to find the motivation to actually get rid of things. I’ve felt for years now that my things possess me rather than the other way around. My challenge is to not hang onto things.

There isn’t space in any closet. My garage walls are stacked high with storage bins. My bookshelves overflow and my sewing room is a catch all for anything I don’t know where to store it.

Creativity is stifled for me when my mind is cluttered with my mess. I want to be creative again. So it’s time to clear the cobwebs mentally and physically.

Posted in life

Proximity

Who are your favorite people to be around?

I’d love to live by family but my family is spread out across the U.S. It always seems hectic and emotional when I’m near my family.

On a regular basis my favorite people to be around are the three children I care for daily. The oldest is a 10.5 yr old boy. The middle child is a 8 yr old boy and the youngest is a 5 yr old girl. I’ve cared for them since the eldest was 16 months old. They are my surrogate grandkids.

Each weekday I am guaranteed hugs and a good story and laughter. They remind me to be a better person. I was on a frustrating phone call recently. When it was over, the oldest came out and said, “Mimi you were rude to that person on the phone. You shouldn’t be so rude.” My response was you are absolutely right. I am so sorry I was rude.

They remind me that even the smallest kindness can change someone’s day.

So they are my favorite people to be around.

Posted in life

Biography Title

If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?

The Olin Mills Portrait I won on Hollywood Squares.

Life on an unexpected Path

This is the title of my blog and certainly would be the title of a biography. Why? Because while some people live relatively uneventful lives, not boring lives or not good lives, just lives that head in one direction, my life has not been like that.

Moving from the south to the north and going to 5 schools in 2.5 years, going through culture shock was not pleasant. Then a move to the west was another adjustment. We were not poor but we lived in a very wealthy school district. My friend’s dad used to rent a private plane to fly them to Aspen to ski. We lived in a suburb of Denver. They had a maid and a giant house. Again I went to 5 schools in 2.5 years.

The final move of my adolescence was to Las Vegas. Again culture shock, so different from Denver. Hot and dry, slot machines at the grocery store, obviously different style of clothes, not a pair of hiking boots in school and kids from all sorts of different places made this again a difficult adjustment. Every time I struggled to make friends, only to have to make new ones all over again. Now making friends is so difficult.

It wasn’t all bad. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and competed in the National Pageant. Bob Hope was the emcee and it was on national tv. I had a cancer scare at 20. I worked full time while I went to college full time. Hollywood Squares started filming at The Rivera Hotel and my mother said to me, “You think you’re so smart, prove it. Go audition.” That was the summer of 1980. I got the call in December asking me to be a contestant. At this time Hollywood Squares gave away prizes and not cash. I played 3 games and won all 3 games. My opponent was Rick Presley from Corpus Christi, Texas. I also won the large prize package since I won the most games. In 1980 it was valued at $12,000. Today it would be valued at $47,000. I still have one of the prizes I won. That great high was followed by a broken heart.

Met my ex on a blind date and had a letter writing long distance courtship. Married after only 12 days of actually being together, followed by another move to Iowa and then one to Texas.

I won’t go on. I know millions of people have had more difficult lives but when you are in the middle of change or a challenge it can seem overwhelming. Maybe someday I’ll actually write an autobiography about how to survive and thrive when life gives you many detours.

Life on an Unexpected Path.

Posted in life

Most ideal day

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

My most ideal day would have my daughters, son-in-law and 2 grandchildren with me walking the streets of Paris.

Posted in life

Seasons of Life

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

Top l to r 5 yrs – 22 yrs bottom l to r 65yrs – 46 yrs

Significant events always make me stop and I either take joy in what my life has been or I lament over what my life hasn’t been.

I often think of the song from the musical Rent, Seasons of Love. 525,600 minutes each year. They are deposited in our bank of time and once it’s spent there are no more deposits until Jan 1 of the following year. Once a moment has happened it is gone forever.

Seasons of Love is exactly how I view my life. The love of great-grandparents who shared their garden and help make many wonderful memories. The pain of leaving friends behind when your family moves. The love of a first boyfriend, a most exciting time, which holds such sweet memories. Followed by marriage and the happiness that immediately follows but doesn’t necessarily last.

The season of motherly love for your children. It’s best expressed by this “ having children is like watching your heart walk around in the world.”

Then the shift from a hands-on mother to a behind the scene mother to adult children. They don’t need you often but you’re always there if they do need you.

Then the heartbreak of the love you thought would last forever when it didn’t. Learning to love your new life and succeeding.

A son-in-law and grandkids arrive and love grows exponentially.

Introduce bonus grandkids and now my heart nearly fits inside my chest.

So my life is broken down into Seasons of Love.

And as I age, taking joy in one day is so important. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed and yesterday is gone and won’t return. Today is the most important time.

Posted in life

Lost Leisure Time

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

I’m actually not sure. I’ve spent the last 9.5 years caring for a family’s children so I’ve spent a lot of time playing games, reading stories, going to the library and park. We’ve visited most child friendly sites within an hour of where we live. We cook and bake cupcakes, cookies and other yummy things. We do art projects and nature projects.

So in a way my entire day has been spent doing leisurely things. With the kids in school full time and one going half days, I’ve struggled to find leisurely things to do. Mostly I read or write letters. I love getting snail mail. There is nothing better than holding a letter in your hand and reading the words of a loved one.

As the younger one approaches full time school, I’ll need to figure out how to fill my days.

Posted in life

First Name Struggle

Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.

My legal first name is Daphna. It is not Daphne. I was named after my grandmother who loved her name. She was named after the Jewish wife of a football coach.

Daphna is the Hebrew version of Daphne. Daphne was a Greek nymph. Cupid shot Apollo with an arrow and he fell in love with Daphne. She didn’t want to marry but have a free life like Diana the Huntress. She called to her father the river and he turned her into a Laurel tree.

Apollo being devastated to find her rooted to the ground, chose laurel leaves to make a wreath which would be the symbol of victory.

When I learned this story in 8th grade, I was thrilled. I had suffered horrible teasing due to my name and I hated my name. Of course this made my grandmother mad, but I was 13 and didn’t care. I just wanted a normal name like Michelle or Beth.

We lived with my grandmother when I was a toddler. Having two Daphnas in the house didn’t work. So my mother nicknamed me Dede, (All my initials were D). I am now 66 and have always gone by Dede.

Names can definitely help form your personality. And I know if I had had a name which wasn’t constantly mispronounced, misspelled, made fun of, I’d have had a better time of it. Imagine always being asked are you sure your name isn’t Daphne?

Posted in life

The Mess before the Reward

Part of the Meas

Realizing a move was not financially possible, I decided to do updates to my home. While I had done some updates, my kitchen cabinets are in a bad way.

I took it upon myself to paint them a few years ago. At first they looked good but over time they became worn. I priced getting all new cabinets and counters. It was out of my price range. How do I update them without breaking the bank.?

I am getting new cabinet doors and having the bases and new doors painted. I’ll get a new updated look without spending $25,000 or more.

However I failed to realize I would need to remove every single thing from my kitchen. Now my kitchen isn’t large but it’s amazing how much stuff one can stash.

I do not do well in chaos. Some people thrive on it, but I need order. My daughter told me that when your space is a mess it can affect your brain and make your brain feel unsettled. So right now I’m living in a mess and it’s going to get worse as I haven’t even emptied all the cabinets.

What type of environment do you thrive in? An orderly space? A space which shows something is happening? Or an over the top mess full of creativity?

Everything should be completed by next weekend. Which means I know next weekend I’ll be spending my time putting everything back. Will it be like Christmas when you can never fit everything back into the boxes? I hope not.