If you could switch lives with a famous person for a week, who would it be and why?
I have no desire to change place with anyone famous. I’m happy with my life. While I am not famous or financially wealthy, I am rich in love and joy.
Tag: happiness
It’s Simple Mark 12
What’s a personal mantra or philosophy you live by?
Sadly many Christians have forgotten these simple commands. They’ve chosen the road of the Pharisees. However these words are what I live by and do my best in all my actions to carry them out.
From the book of Mark
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a]31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.”
Don’t believe what people say
What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
I’ve spent most of my life determining how I felt about myself by what other people said and thought. This caused me to doubt my decision decisions and make rash decisions. It caused me to have a massive fear of abandonment which intern encourage me to make bad decisions.
The only opinions that matters is God’s opinion of me and what I think of me.
Turn back time
The genie grants you a wish. What is it?
I’d like to go back to my 16th birthday with all of my knowledge and wisdom accumulated through 16-67 still with me.
I’d like to know what my life would have been like if I had chosen my dream over a boyfriend. I wish I had found a way to tell my dad I would find a way to study in Europe. I wouldn’t spend one second worried what others thought of me. I’d have confidence. I’d pursue joy. I would have gotten help for my depression even though I did not have support from my parents.
Then I’d like to look at my two life paths and chose one.
Lyon
What’s a moment in your life that made you feel truly alive?
1999, October. I went for a week to a language school in Lyon. I was alone. My marriage was struggling. A change was desperately needed.
The colors of autumn were vibrant. The classes were held in an old large, manor home. There weren’t many of us and most students were either beginner or intermediate level. I was told US French teachers come in the summer.
In addition to classes, we had a couple tours, a cooking class and a wine tasting class.
When I took my first walk, breathed in the cool air, being immersed in the autumnal colors and surrounded by history, I felt fully alive.
A writing release of feelings
How do you write what people actually want to read?
When I got divorced, I was devastated. I went from a very comfortable secure life to a life not knowing how I’d support myself. $9000 cash and no spousal support left me raiding retirement.
I started this blog and named it Liferewritten because I felt like that’s what I needed to do. I needed to change my life and take it from an unhappy marriage, followed by a devastating divorce to something better.
So rather than complaining to my daughters or ruminating over my heartbreak, I would vent on the blog.
A couple years ago, I went back and deleted my darkest, saddest and most angry blogs. I wanted to separate myself from those memories, but I wish I hadn’t deleted them. I would like to see how far I’ve come.
So I write to share my journey and if no one reads it that’s okay, but it leaves a record of my life for my daughters.
Getting married
How do you make time for self-care?
I agreed to marry a man I didn’t really know. We had 4 dates and he asked me to get married and I said yes. We married 4 months later. My parents drove me to Iowa with my belongs. I stayed a week and returned home.
We didn’t see each other again until a few days before the wedding. I knew almost nothing about his family or their family dynamics. If I had, I would have never married him. I didn’t know any of his faults or struggles. If I had known them, I would have never married him.
If I had known he had no interests, never read books, was not interested in what was happening in the world, hated museums and only wanted to drink alcohol or lie on a beach or lie by a pool, I would have run away.
So NEVER marry someone you don’t know well.
Feels like Home
What’s a place you visited that felt like home?
I can’t say I have ever felt at home anywhere. I didn’t feel at home growing up because I was odd man out plus we moved several times between ages 9-14.
Then when I married we rented and lived in 4 places in 3 years. When we finally bought a house, I definitely felt grown up. And it probably felt more like home than any place I’ve lived in since then.
My idea of home is family and my family hasn’t been together for 14 years. We don’t have to live in the same house but near enough to get together.
So for now and the foreseeable future, I have a place to live but it’s not home.
Many times over
What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?
I’ve been lucky enough to have many people who have done kind things for me, but two things stand out in my memory.
In 2006 my youngest daughter graduated from high school. We had a big party and family from both sides came to town for her. My former father-in-law was not a nice man. He was critical and could be cruel. He was at my home and refused to even acknowledge my presence. Not even a simple hello was uttered from his lips.
I had had enough and asked my husband (now ex) to speak to his father. I should have known better because my ex was drunk and it ended up being a fiasco. When my former father-in-law literally stepped over me to say goodbye to my family and ignored me, I had to leave.
I went straight to Anne’s house two doors down. The second the doors opened I broke down in tears. She hugged me and let me cry my eyes out. Two hours later no one had come to look for me. I wouldn’t have survived without her kindness.
My high school bestie and I were both born in 1959 at opposite ends of the year. 2019 was a big year because we turned 60. She asked me to accompany her to France to celebrate. Sadly I couldn’t afford to go but she surprised me and told me she was covering all expenses.
We were able to celebrate our very long friendship in the city of lights and I’ll never forget how special I felt that someone would do this for me.
The same thing
If the salary was the same, what job would you be doing right now and why?
I love my job. The hours are long and everyday I have a different challenges but everyday begins with hugs and smiles. And I end my day the same way it began with hugs and kisses.
I am a full time nanny for a family with 3 children. I’ve been with them for 10 years this October. The kids are 11,almost 9 and 5.5. There are two boys and one girl.
Three Pines or St. Denis
Which fictional world would be the most fun to vacation/live in?
Without a doubt either Three Pines or St. Denis.
Three Pines is a fictional village located in Québec and borders the U.S. it is home to a close knit community comprised of:
- Clara Morrow- Artist and resident of Three Pines
- Peter Morrow- Married to Clara. An artist who lives in Three Pines
- Ruth Zardo- Poet Living in Three Pines with her pet duck
- Myrna Landers- Former psychologist who runs the bookstore in Three Pines
- Gabri Dubeau – Owner of the bistro and B&B
- Olivier Brulé – Co-owner of the bistro and B&B, and Gabri’s partner
Armand Gamache- Chief Inspector of the Sûreté du Québec
Reine-Marie Gamache -Armand’s Wife
The café is a local gathering place with a large fireplace, delicious food and a hot bed of gossip. Everyone looks after each other in this village named for the three large pines in the community’s green space. Why three pines? It’s is said loyalists during the American Revolution could find sanctuary in these Canadian towns.
The second but equally desirable place is the fictional town of St. Denis, Dordogne, France. You’ll find a close knit community who care for each other. Bruno is an excellent cook, has a love of Bassett hounds and seems to always getting involved in unsolved crimes.
Benoît “Bruno” Courrèges is the sole municipal police chief of St. Denis and a former soldier who served in Bosnia. He prefers community-based policing over strict law enforcement, often protecting locals from distant European Union bureaucracies. Deeply embedded in the culture of Périgord, he acts as a youth sports coach, makes his own walnut wine, and functions as the guardian of the town’s traditions. His peaceful routine is disrupted when he must assist national authorities in a sensitive local murder case.
Key Relationships
Employee of Gérard Mangin
Colleague of Isabelle Perrault also her love
Rival Colleague of Captain Duroc
Protector of Karim al-Bakr
Friend of Momu al-Bakr
Colleague of Jean-Jacques “J-J” Jalipeau
Tennis Partner of The Baron
Sometimes lover of Pamela an English divorcée
As the books progress more characters are introduced and Bruno builds a deeply committed relationship with these people from various backgrounds.
Again you’ll find regular dinners hosted by this community of friends. Many times with Bruno doing the cooking. He has a large garden of herbs, tomatoes, vegetables. He truffle hunts with his basset hound.
I’d be happy to live in either of these two places.
Thanks to book companion and super summary for character lists.
Supporting Characters
•
- Fat Jeanne: Known for her unique appearance, adds local color to the narrative.
- Madame Verniet: An elderly farmer’s widow, representing the older generation of St. Denis.
- Jo-Jo: A photographer who captures the essence of village life.
- Diem: A Vietnamese acquaintance of Bruno, showcasing the multicultural aspect of the community.
Many more characters are introduced
Told my Girls
What’s the weirdest coincidence you’ve ever experienced?
When my daughters were learning to drive I reminded them that we lived in a relatively small community and that I knew a lot of people. So to make sure they were always driving their best because there’s a good chance someone I know will see them rolling through a stop sign or speeding through a stoplight or talking on their cell phone, etc..
My girls just nodded their head and rolled their eyes and thought yeah right mom.
Then over the course of about three or four months, we ran into their dentist at Disney World, their dad’s cousin had a huge flea market in East Texas, a pilot and his wife with their kids in New York City and my next-door neighbor reported he saw my oldest roll through a stop sign.
After that series of coincidences, my girls believed me when I said, I knew someone everywhere.
Tattoo
If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would it be and why?
I already have one tattoo. It says La Vie est belle. It’s French for Life is beautiful. I’d get one that said, Savourez la vie and pray it is a correct translation of Savor life.
Message to Past Self
If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?
Do not rush through life trying to reach all the milestones. Savor being single, travel, move to France, wait to marry and have kids. Explore opportunities, write that book.
Just do not rush for fear those milestones will never happen.
Major control
How do you deal with uncertainty?
For most of my life I was a control freak. The more I controlled, the more anxiety I had but was convinced if I had control the anxiety would be relieved.
Ask my daughters and they will confirm I did my best to control everyone and everything around me. It’s genetic. My grandmother controlled my mother. My mother did her best to control me but wasn’t always successful.
I didn’t control my girls as much, but I definitely exercised control when I could.
Then one day I realized that control was a mirage. I never had had control. When my world came crashing down, it was a tough lesson.
Now I understand control is a mirage. The only constant is the Lord. And He is always full of surprises.
So mostly now I don’t even think about uncertainty. As long as I live, what happens in life will be uncertain. And I can trust it’ll all work out.
No idea
How to make friends when you’re over 65
I find myself in a weird spot. I moved to my current location because my Daughter and Son-in-law were here, but when he finished his medical residency, they moved to Northeastern Pennsylvania my younger daughter lives in Sunny Southern California. I cannot afford to live in either one of those places.
My friends from before being divorced have not stayed in contact even though I’ve tried. A couple do stay in contact, but they are very rich and travel and have second homes. They’re always going on trips and I can’t afford to do that plus they are married or they’re single with money.
I am divorced. I work full-time as a Nanny. I’m not a widow. I’m not retired. I’m obviously not married and sadly I find that most women in my age bracket are either married, retired, or widowed. I’m not free to do things during the day and as often as I hear, I love friends in all age brackets, I’ve yet to have one Mother younger than I am, invite me for coffee.
I try to understand because they see me as their mother and not as a potential friend.
I’ve searched online for social groups, but at my age they seem to all meet during the day and I’m not available. I do go to church but again I find no women in my current life stage.
The town I live in is not super small, but it’s not a metropolitan area. There are no museums. There are no concerts for well-known acts. The local community college needs all sorts of paperwork that I no longer have, to be admitted to take a class. I drive to the largest metropolitan area sometimes on the weekend to take cooking classes, but everybody in the class lives in that area and I’m over an hour away. I do go to a library book club but it’s super small and everyone is busy.
This town does not feel like home because Home is where your heart is and my heart is in Pennsylvania and California. I pray diligently and faithfully that God will lead me in the direction I need to go. I just haven’t heard God speak to me in so many years.
Is anyone else out there in my situation?
So Many Different Me
What’s a quote that perfectly describes your outlook on life?
There’s such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I’m such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn’t be half so interesting.
L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (Anne of Green Gables, #1)
I have always identified with Anne Shirley. She isn’t like everyone else who accepts things as they are. She has many versions of herself. It’s not because she changes to fit in. I believe it’s because each new discovery changes her.
And that is what I believe my life has been like. I remember after I married, my mom would say things like, “I didn’t know you liked …..” It wasn’t a bad thing to say. It was only an observation about how I had changed.
I continue to change, even at 66. And to be honest some people find this troublesome. People like things to stay the same. It’s comfortable for them. But for me staying the same means being stagnant.
I am always making an effort to learn something new. I still work on learning a foreign language. I try new recipes, new places to eat, new experiences to have like making my own soda. The world is full of simple and spectacular lessons to learn.
Love of learning does that to a person. The more you experience and the more you learn, it’s impossible to stay the same.
Wish for all
What is your favorite quote?
“Blemishes on the beauty of a person one loves are like grace notes adding something to a piece of music.”
We live in a society that promotes and expects perfection in body and face, especially in women. Botox, plastic surgery, laser treatments, fillers, lip fillers, GLP-1, diets, exercise etc.
But is perfection something we should strive for? If we erase wrinkles, stretch marks, if we were all the same size, lips all overfilled so we look like ducks, faces pulled, frozen faces, mommy makeovers would that be better?
A grace note is a type of musical ornamentation that is usually printed smaller than regular notes and serves as a brief embellishment before a principal note.
And imperfections are the grace notes for us. God made us each unique and original. No one should look the same. We should embrace the fact we are different. We should embrace aging and not erase our life with treatments.
I struggle with aging and sometimes I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I tried Botox post divorce. I was 53 and didn’t want to look old but I need to remember Growing old is a privilege not everyone gets. Embrace our difference and embrace aging.
**Quote from the Poldark book series book 5 the Black Moon. Ross is speaking to his wife Demelza.
Demelza Carne Poldark
If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?
I would have dinner with Demelza Carne Poldark. She is my favorite character from all the books I have read and I am an avid reader.
She is beautiful but most importantly she is strong, stands up for herself, is eager to learn, compassionate, kind and forgiving.
When she holds no ill will against Francis, Ross’s cousin, for destroying their business and making them practically destitute, and goes to their home to care for them when everyone in town is ill with the putrid throat, that is forgiveness at its best.
Demelza gets ill, almost dies and her daughter does dies but again she holds no resentment. I find that is miraculous.
I love her.
Born with Desire
What’s a movie or book that inspired you to travel?
I don’t remember ever having a moment in my life that I didn’t have a desire to travel. As I’ve said before I took one of those 13 countries and six week bus trips when I was in college.
I have read books that have inspired me to travel to certain places. I read a series of books about a Norwegian family that settled in the Dakotas back in the 1800s and wanted to go to Norway. Bruno chief of police series by Martin Walker inspired me to go to the Perigord region of France.
I read the Outlander books and that inspired me to go to Scotland.
I personally just love to travel, and I love to travel to places that are rich in history.
