Posted in life

1001

What jobs have you had?

My first job like many girls was babysitting. I was 11 and made .50 cents an hour. By the time I was 13, I was making .75 cents/hour and before I was 14, it was $1.00/hour.

Between my junior and senior year of high school at the age of 16, I had my first “real” job. I was hired at Broadway Department store. I made $2.75/ hour. That was 50 years ago and the store has long since vanished. However it was the nicest department store in Las Vegas at the time and at the only mall in town.

As a freshman in college I was hired at an upscale children’s boutique owned by my billiards professor and his wife. I was making $3.25/hour plus if we sold $2070 on one day we each received a $20 bonus. We could easily reach that goal everyday in the summer. The store’s original location was at the MGM Grand Hotel. The original one which had a tragic fire and was located at Flamingo and the Strip. I helped open the location at Caesar’s Palace’s newly open shopping area. I met Patrick Duffy. He was the Man from Atlantis at the time and subsequently Bobby Ewing in Dallas. I helped Sammy Davis Jr. I met Tina Sinatra. And my most memorable day was when an old man, dressed in scruffy jeans and t-shirt with long hair in a ponytail walked in with a statuesque blonde.

She began shopping and purchased many expensive things. I don’t remember the exact amount but I know it exceeded $2,000. That would be over $8,000 in today’s money. I had no idea who they were until he returned to the store and handed me an American Express Credit card. It was exactly like the commercial. I looked at the card and recognized the name. There was no electronic approval back then. $2,000 was the store’s limit so I had to call AMEX for approval.

The man on the phone asked the amount and name on the card, I said Willie Nelson. The man on the phone didn’t believe me. I had to convince him that the man himself was standing before me.

Now for those of you who are surprised I didn’t recognize Willie, remember I was 20 years old and didn’t listen to country music.

I left that job so I could make $5.00/hour at a brand new Sax Fifth Avenue. I helped stock and open that store. It is still there in the Fashion Show Mall on the strip.

I married and moved to Iowa. I became the assistant manager of a young adult female clothing store. Ended up leaving that job to be a mom.

So that began my career as cook, cleaning lady, chauffeur, healthcare provider, nursemaid, therapist, meal planner, money manager and more responsibilities that any one person should have.

During the time my girls were teenagers I worked part time at Kohls and substitute taught.

I earned my real estate license and began selling houses in 2006. I found myself divorced in Jan 2013. I kept selling real estate but wasn’t making enough to support myself. I eventually moved to the central Texas town where I remain to this day.

After 4 full years of earning very little money to no money, I was blessed with finding a job through my daughter as a nanny. Initially it was part time and in less than a year it went to full time. That was 10 years ago. My employers added two more children for a total of 3.

Funny thing is I am back doing much of what I did when I was a full time stay at home mother. The only difference is I get paid for my services now.

There are many things I would have liked to be but I’ve accepted my calling is to love and care for those around me.

Posted in Uncategorized

Favortism

Ugh. Why does this always have to raise its ugly head? Especially in the work place? Clearly I am naive and believe my co-workers are honest and straight forward. However once again, I am proven wrong.

While the matter which upsets me is not important, it is a reminder I need to be aware not everyone is on a level playing field. Some are given special consideration because either they are related or the owner or manager has a sweet spot for them.

Office politics is not something I like and I do my best to stay out of them. It is still bothersome though and try as I might, I still get frustrated and my feelings get hurt.

I am almost finished with a book I am writing. My hope is that I can self-publish it and supplement my income, continue writing until I can support myself solely from writing.

 

Posted in divorce, God, Uncategorized

It’s over

I’m throwing in the towel. God has sent me a very clear message and it’s time I give up. My husband dumped me after I forgave him time and time again for betraying me and our vows. He has gone on to a younger girlfriend although she looks like the wicked witch of the west. He bought her a house nicer than anything he ever bought me and he spend more time with her brats than he ever spent with his own daughters. In fact he has completely disowned them and so have his parents? Why you ask? Because they refuse to interact with a man who is an alcoholic and sexual deviant.

I’ve sought employment for three years and every time the door slams in my face. I received two more rejections yesterday. I’m done. I want nothing more to do with anything and anyone. My girls while they struggle financially have strong self esteem and deep faith in God. Clearly a God who has chosen to abandon me. That’s fine. I accept it. I’m not going to fight it anymore.

Posted in book, divorce, Experience, God, novels, Uncategorized, WordPress

What’s Next?

  
What’s next for me? I have just five weeks to find a job. If I don’t I will have to give notice and not renew my lease. My things will go into storage and I will move in with my mother. As much as I love my mother, I want to be self sufficient. If anyone had told me three years post divorce I would still be unemployed, I never would have believed them.

My therapist says to write. He says to write the book that’s been hidden away inside of me. He’s encouraged me to try and grow my blog following. I like to write but how do we know if we have something to say? How do we know if we have a story to tell? I’ve voiced the speculation that maybe God wants me to write and that’s why I haven’t found a job. Sadly I don’t really believe that. It’s just a way I’ve tried to make myself feel better.

Who knows what tomorrow brings, certainly not I. All I can do is weather the storm and pray that eventually I see sunshine and a rainbow.

Posted in divorce, Experience, God, Uncategorized, WordPress

And the door remains closed

  
Received an email today that said I didn’t get the job. I’ve been looking for three years 2 months. Everyone is full of suggestions and trust me, I’ve tried them all. God clearly has plans for me that currently don’t include working. I hope He knows I have very limited time to find a job. If I don’t get something that pays at least $40,000 a year, I will have to store all of my furniture and personal belongings. Then I will move about 1600 miles away and in with my mom.

Now I love my mom but I’m an adult woman who hasn’t lived at home for 34 years. Her home is small and full of her things. She shouldn’t have to readjust her entire home to accommodate me. 

I feel ashamed and humiliated. After 30 years of marriage, followed by 3 years of divorce I still can’t support myself. No matter how often and how long I pray, I can’t seem to figure out God’s purpose in this. Why would he leave me unable to support myself? I don’t understand.

I have less than two months to find something. Mid-April I have to give my notice at my apartment and without a job I will have to leave when my lease is up. 

Posted in Blogging, Blogging101, choices, depression, divorce, Experience, Faith, family, fear, God, help, marriage, Moving, New life, Uncategorized, Writing, writing101

Season of Waiting

I have been unemployed officially for almost three years. For the 30 years prior to this I was “employed” as a wife and then subsequently as a mother. When my husband divorced me it never occurred to me I would not be able to find a job.

It has been a HUGE stressor in my life. I spend many hours several times a week submitting applications. When I’m finished I am exhausted. Then when the rejection letters inevitably arrive, it throws me into a deep depression and serious anxiety attack.

My faith says God has a reason to keep me in this season of waiting. I don’t know why and clearly he doesn’t want me to know yet. It is taking its toll on me though and I don’t have much longer of a financial cushion. 

So I wait. I watch. I try. I pray. I listen. And I begin again.