Posted in books, characters, daily prompt, favorite, New life, novels, Uncategorized, WordPress, Writing, writing lessons, writing101

Poldark by Winston Graham

  

  
     Have you ever read a book that is timeless? I believe Poldark is just that.A book written in the 1940s about life in the late 18th and early 19th centuries in Cornwall, England. The struggles faced then are as relevant as the ones we face today. Ross Poldark is a soldier just returning home from a war which was lost. He learns not only has the love of his life, Elizabeth agreed to marry his wealthy cousin Francis but his father is dead and his small estate in ruin.

     Heartbroken Ross pours himself into his farm and reopening the mine on his land. Unlike his cousin Francis and his wife Elizabeth, Ross was never separated apart from the people on his father’s land. He grew up with the sons of the miners. They were his friends despite the huge difference in their social status. Ross’s experience in the war has given him a clearer perspective on life and the injustices he sees everyday in Cornwall and England.

     Miners are forced to poach game to keep their families from starving while the gentry live a life of luxury which is paid for on the backs of the workers, the miners. Justice is only justice if it serves the gentry well because while they say all are equal before the law, that is not how it is actually carried out.

     Ross finds himself torn between what he knows in his heart is right and what the people of his class tell him is right. It is the unexpected love and faith he finds in a young girl, a miner’s daughter, that helps Ross find his way.

     He stumbles. He fails. He succeeds. He’s torn between love for two women. He carries on doing his best.

     Aren’t these the same challenges we face today? The divide between the rich and poor growing. The idea that some are born to succeed and others to fail. Aren’t we struggling to find true justice in our court systems? Not justice for some but justice for all? Aren’t we fighting for education, jobs and the disenfranchised? Aren’t we working to save the men and women who return from war some broken and scarred changed forever? For soldiers who can’t find employment and face poverty? Aren’t we seeking our voice and our right to be heard even if we are poor or a minority or just the plain forgotten?

    When Winston Graham published Poldark, World War II had just ended. His country was facing the very same challenges Ross faced when he returned from fighting the American War of Independence. The only difference is Britain won WWII and lost the AmericanRevolution  but the returning soldiers faced the same fights as Ross did 150 years earlier. And now in the 21st century we are facing our biggest battle, the fight of ideology. Will we win this world war of terrorism imposed by the few on the many? 

This is absolutely my favorite book series and I hope you find the time to read not just Poldark but all twelve books.

Posted in Blogging, choices, communication, daily prompt, divorce, friends, friendship, love, marriage, Uncategorized, women, writing101

Catching up with a friend

  
I never thought we would be apart for so many years. It seems like only yesterday we were young mothers raising our children. Struggling to make ends meet. Somehow we always managed to find the fun and humor in every day. But where have the years gone? When I look at you I see the same, sparkling young woman I met almost 30 years ago. You have the same spirit, creativity and joy for life. Now you are securely planted with a family of one husband, five children, four in-laws, nine grandchildren, a variety of pets and two spectacular homes. There is no one I’ve ever met that deserves happiness more than you do.

Me you ask? My life took an entirely different path than your own. I do have two lovely children and one son-in-law but I’ve lost everything else. My husband left me. I lost my home. I lost my friends. I lost my community. I lost all security. I even lost my faith for awhile. I lost my desire to see another day.

Why didn’t you know? Because you never asked. I don’t blame you. When a life is as full and rich as your’s is, time goes by quickly, like a flash of lightening. When life is broken and empty as mine is, time feels like a loud ticking clock. With each movement of the hand, it reminds you life is passing by and you don’t get a second chance. I don’t know if I don’t reach in for life enough or if when I do life spits me out. Honestly it feels like the second one.

I hope dear friend that we don’t go years without talking or seeing each other. I love you and always will.

Posted in fear, Uncategorized

Paris

Paris-War-Then-Now
 How we wish people would change. Surely over the centuries mankind has learned valuable lessons so we would not be doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over. Evidently not. Demelza Poldark, a character in the Winston Graham Poldark Series, was faced with war and attack in Paris. The story might be fictional but it is placed amongst real history.

Paris was living and experiencing freedom when Demelza arrived in the early 19th century. France had been opressed by the Monarchists, abused by Napolean’s war machine obsessed with total Domination and Paris was caught in the crossfire of beliefs. Sadly this wasn’t the first time Paris would find itself at the center of men’s thirst for power. War would and will find Paris again.

Demelza does the best she can under the circumstances. She must leave to stay safe but her heart broke to leave Ross behind. 

Sadly in the 21st century Paris finds itself at the center of a war again. Islamic terrorists chose the city of light for brutal attacks against innocent people. Cowardice kills the innocent and unarmed. There nothing courageous about planning and executing people while you hide behind masks and believe you will spend eternity in paradise.

As Americans we cannot ignore our own war for independence in the late 1700s was supported by France which enabled us to win the revolution. Then they went on to fight their own long battle for Égalité,Fraternité and Liberté.  Courage, real courage is found in the people who continue to live their lives, standing firm against this cowardice. Courage is being brave enough to open your doors to the oppressed, the hungry, the poor, the persecuted. Demelza always courageous, reaching out to help those in need and we must continue to reach out and be courageous in face of this terrorism. 

Posted in Blogging, choices, daily prompt, divorce, friends, friendship, love, people, Uncategorized, writing101

The Wedding

  A hand gripped her heart, squeezing, refusing to let go. Her only choice was to grab the bottle of Xanax. It would be the only way she would be able to get through this evening. An evening surround by her old life, her old friends with the reminder this would never be hers again.

The bride a woman who was taking a step down that unknown path of marriage. All this woman could see is the red headed baby girl she helped welcome into the world. Escorted down the aisle by her  parents, the parents who were friends but had abandon this lonely guest when the divorce happened.

The reception. The unexpected on slaught of faces which she doesn’t remember. Wondering how after all this time they could remember her, her name but their faces, their names held no place in her memory. Having to explain that no she was no longer married and seeing faces full of pity and shock when she said her ex was an alcoholic and sexual predator, which left her with no option but divorce. Explaining homelessness was just months away. 

Left alone at the table as happy couples dance, a stabbing reminder she is on the outside. An untouchable now, no longer part of any plans for the future. No happiness or joy in her future. 

The wine, followed by more wine mingling with the Xanax to create a sense of who gives a damn, certainly not this unloved woman. Faces across the room she longed to see, to speak to but knew the importance of remaining in her seat. They had the need to shield themselves from the truth of her pain and their failure to be there when she needed them.

The casual promises to stay in touch, knowing they were empty words. Feeling the emptiness in a room full of people, full of love and full of life. How can someone be so alone when surrounded by so many? A mirage, nothing but the timeless illusion couples go through only to find life isn’t a happily ever after tale. It’s a path full of road blocks, potholes, turns and yes sometimes unexpected joy or unexpected heart break.

The wedding. The people. The love. The emptiness. The mirage. Life.

Posted in writing101

Writing 101 what do I do when I’m not writing?

I have too much free time in my life right now and should spend more time writing but I spend a lot of time reading for pleasure and also to review on my book blog Daphne’s Booklist. So you can find me at Half Price books at least once a week.

I meet three times a week with a support group.

And after discovering The Great British Sewing Bee, my love of sewing has been renewed which means taking some classes to get my skills back up to snuff.

Since the major life shift three years ago, I’ve not done much. It’s only been in the last few months I’ve began to engage in life again.

Posted in Free products

Free holiday cards

Tiny prints free Holiday cards 

Click the above link for free holiday cards from Tiny Prints.

Posted in letters, WordPress, writing101

Reinvent the Letter Writing 101

giveaway1

Dear WordPress,

Today’s assignment is to reinvent the letter. May I ask what you mean? What is a letter other than a consonant or vowel used to make words? If you are referring to the archaic communication method of using a pen or pencil, paper, envelope and stamps to share my thoughts and feelings with another person in another location, I need to inform you that letter writing is a long-lost art. Today’s emotions, news, achievements, worries, love etc are shared via electronic media. Cell phones, Twitter, Instagram, E-mail, Facebook, WordPress there are so many ways that modern people share their lives. Lives are now on public display. It is old-fashioned thinking to consider a letter. Why would anyone want to share private thoughts, concerns and emotions with just another person? Why would anyone want to hold in his/her hand a piece of paper which shows someone else took time out of his/her busy schedule to put words to paper?

Of course I am being sarcastic but unfortunately, what I wrote is much too true for today’s generation. Communication is quick and efficient but not necessarily heartfelt. There are too many shortcuts, abbreviations and a real lack of time spent thinking about what they are writing. Words and thoughts are shared that will remain in cyberspace forever but most likely will not be remembered by anyone.

A real letter, words put to paper or card, share emotion in so many ways. Is there a hint of scent that reminds you of home? Of a lover? Of a friend? is the penmanship steady or does it show signs of age or worry or impatience? Is it descriptive, full of colorful words or does the writer choose simple words that feel as though the writer is holding back? How many times do you hold the letter? Smell the letter? Reread the letter? Save the letter?

I have a box of letter and cards that my ex-husband and I wrote when we were dating. While my marriage suffered an untimely death when my ex decided he had for 30 years a foot out the door. I have those letters and cards which speak of hopes, dreams and love. They are there for my children and any future generations to read, to hold, to smell and to get to know us 100 years from now.

Posted in poetry, words, writing101

Writing 101 Assignment: Media Inspiration

I have spoken too many times in my life without thinking about the damage my words would do. And sadly it is a learned behavior because hurtful words still resonate in my soul.

Speaking without thinking

Thinking without speaking

Hurtful words spewed

Venomous syllables

Cutting to the bone

Driving through the soul

Never to be undone

Collateral damage

Regret and sorrow

I want to eat my words

I want them back

I want to repair hearts

I want my soul healed

Posted in Uncategorized

Writing 101 Where do I write?

Excellent question because I never gave it much thought. I probably should have a place reserved just for writing but I have to be honest, I usually write with my computer on my lap and my cat next to me on the sofa. I live alone and get tired of silence. It becomes deafening and overwhelming, so I have my TV on too much.

I need to find a quiet place to let my thoughts flow so I can become a better writer.

Posted in Blogging, Blogging101, blogging201, book, books, characters, choices, daily prompt, daughters, depression, divorce, Experience, Faith, family, fictional, forgiveness, friends, friendship, God, love, marriage, men, mistakes, New life, novels, people, questions, relationships, strong, Writing, writing lessons, writing101

Quote Writing 101

“We envy a man for something he has and yet the truth may be he hasn’t got it after all and we have.” Francis Poldark PBS
We live in a world where the message is what you have isn’t enough. We are taught we need to be ambitious, make more money, attain a higher status, just get more. But does stuff and more money make us happy? Does it make us envy our friends and neighbors more or less? Do we ever reach a point when we’ve reached the pinnacle of success and feel satisfied or are we on some endless road?

I think the character Francis Poldark from the Winston Graham book series Poldark’s worcs ring just as true now as when Mr. Graham wrote them and also when Francis was supposed to have said them in the late 1700s. People don’t change. Status whether it’s brought by money, a beautiful wife, a big house or a successful business is a temporary fix for what we all desire on a deeper level.

Things are temporary. Jobs are temporary. Relationships can be shallow. Money comes and goes. But what if while we are so busy acquiring and envying others we miss the joy we already have in our lives? Studies have proven money doesn’t make us happy. It makes us comfortable and offers security on one level. I understand how devastating it can be to lose financial security. I’ve lost all the financial security I had when I divorced. I understand how devastating job loss and loss of a relationship can be. I was married for 30 years only to be tossed aside. It hurt. It still does. I see my friends’ lives and the security they still have. I feel envious. I feel cheated. I feel angry that my ex could discard me and our daughters like yesterday’s trash.

But what I’ve realized is that if I spend my time envying the life I had, the lives of my friends then I cheat myself out of recognizing the blessings and joys that I have in my life now. I have close and loving relationships with my daughters and son-in-law. I’ve learned who my true friends are and that the appearance of happiness doesn’t mean they are happy. I have peace of mind. I no longer wonder in what new way my ex husband was going to betray me and hurt me. I’ve learned I’m strong.

So Francis is right. We’ve had it all along.

Posted in Blogging, Blogging101, choices, communication, daily prompt, Dreaming, Faith, fear, forgiveness, friends, God, Hiding, love, Moving, New life, people, questions, Uncategorized, Writing, writing101

A story in an Image Challenge #3

  
In the midst of the crowd

Are lives being lived

Hearts being broken

Dreams being realized 

Goodbyes being whispered

Hellos being shouted

Business being conducted 

Weariness being all encompassing

Love being healing

Seconds being stolen

Minutes being horded

Hours being occupied

Days being treasured

Time to embrace life being lost to the 

busyness of the day.

Posted in Blogging101, choices, daily prompt, daughters, Dreaming, Experience, forgiveness, friendship

One Word Challenge

Choice

How do you know that one choice can change your life?

Will it be a choice that leads to happiness?

Or will it bring heartache and sorrow?

One choice only to realize you discarded 999 others.

 999 other choices which would lead you to a different life.

A better life?

A happier life?

A life without pain and grief?

A life filled with loved ones who love you in return?

But,

Another choice may not give you your precious daughters.

Another choice might not give you loving friends.

Another choice may be full of poverty

Poverty of the mind, heart and soul.

Choices

 one made each day

always leading us where we go

and 999 other left unexplored

Opening and closing doors.

I blog because I am alone. The walls close in and I feel buried beneath the weight of lost hopes and dreams.

I blog because it gives me a voice even if no one ever reads my posts.

I blog to connect to an unseen world of souls.

I blog because I have always loved to write and one can only keep so many journals before they overtake space.

I blog because maybe someday, somewhere, some moment I will find the inspiration, dedication and focus I need to actually write a book.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Million-Dollar Question.”

Why do I blog?

Posted in Blogging101, blogging201, books, characters, favorite, strong, women

A list of my favorite female book characters

anneofgreengables

Listed in no particular order as all of them have touched me in someway equally.

  1. Anne Shirley created by Lucy Maud Montgomery
  2. Demelza Carne Poldark created by Winston Graham
  3. Melanie Hamilton and Scarlett O’Hara created by Margaret Mitchell
  4. Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser created by Diana Gabaldon
  5. Elizabeth Bennet Darcy and Emma Woodhouse Knightley created by Jane Austen
  6. Jo March created by Louisa May Alcott
  7. Madeline created by Ludwig Bemelmans
  8. Any of the strong southern women created by Mary Kay Andrews
  9. Heidi created by Johanna Spyri
  10. Margaret Simon by Judy Blume

Posted in Blogging, Blogging101, blogging201, New life, poetry, writing101

Why do I write?

I write because my head is full of words

words unspoken

I write because my head is full of dreams

dreams unfulfilled

I write because my head is full of ideas

ideas unexplored

I write because I have a voice

a voice unheard

Posted in books, communication, daily prompt, Dreaming, letters, sweepstakes, vacation, Writing

Sweepstakes

giveaway

   Do you ever get lost in a daydream? Wonder what it would be like to travel to faraway destinations. Do you look at photos from around the world on Instagram? I do. I love the window into lives around the world. I also love to write letters. There is something so personal and intimate about letters. While they may not be immediate communication, they are something which can express who you are and how you feel so much better than a text or email. When I receive a handwritten card or letter in my mail, it brightens my day. So I am going to help you by giving away a set of three 5 x 7 notecards and two postcards by Hunter and Hobbs valued at $20. Photos taken in Switzerland and France.

To enter: Click the link and follow the simple directions to enter. Additional entries are available by following the directions. Good Luck!

Hunter and Hobbs Sweepstakes

giveaway1

Posted in Blogging, Blogging101, book, Experience, Faith, family, friendship, God, love, mistakes, relationships, Uncategorized, Writing

It’s only now that can be

  
“All we know is this moment, and this moment, Ross, we are alive! We are. We are. The past is over, it’s gone. What is to come doesn’t exist yet. That’s tomorrow! It’s only now that can ever be, at any one moment. And at this moment, now,  we are alive – and together. We can’t ask more. There isn’t anymore to ask.” Demelza Poldark in The Angry Tide by Winston Graham.

I find myself returning again and again to the book series by Winston Graham. Each character has so much wisdom and insight, even the characters who are not so likable. 

While I am not in a relationship now, the wisdom in Demelza’s words are powerful. She is right that we only have this moment to live. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to be. We plan our lives. It’s what we are taught to do. Make a plan. Follow the rules. Love God. Love your neighbor. Unfortunately too many of us think this is some protection from future harm and sadness when it’s not. While a plan may prevent small things from going wrong, ultimately we have no guarantees in this life. 

The best planning can not prevent tragedy from touching us. Some are lucky and go through life without so much as a hiccup but I wonder if ultimately having a life with no waves, no bumps, no mountains to climb makes for a shallow, less meaningful life. Because I believe it is our struggles and perseverance through those challenges that create the richness of life. The only way to see the the beautiful valley is to climb to the peak and that is never easy.

Demelza stumbles, as does Ross through life but their lives become deep, colorful, memorable and woven tightly together. Whether it’s a marriage, a familial relationship or a friendship it’s our shared struggles that strengthen the ties that bind us.

Posted in Blogging, Blogging101, choices, divorce, Dreaming, family, marriage, New life, Writing

Freedom to those we love

 

“We have to live our own lives. We have to give freedom to those we love.” Ross Poldark in Angry Tide by Winston Graham

Ross makes this comment as he and his wife leave their children behind as they head for London. She is sad upon leaving the children at home and Ross reminds her that before she knows it the children will be leaving her.

As a parent we all must face the moment when we know our children are adults and independent. It’s bittersweet because you want them to grow up, live their lives and be happy but you will forever miss your babies. I think that is one reason as a parent it is sometimes difficult to step back when they are adults and let them find their way. In our eyes they are still our babies. As a mother there is always this overwhelming desire you fight to keep them children.

I always knew my children would grow up and go out on their own, making their way in the world. What I never thought about was the first statement Ross makes. We have to live our own lives. I forgot in those years as a mother and wife I needed to make a life of my own separate from them. It is even more true now that I am divorced. I never thought about being anyone other than a wife and mother. It is much more challenging than I anticipated to find my own way in the world. I feel like the one who has had adulthood thrust upon her unexpectedly.

I know my passion but the question is can I make a living? Can I support myself? Do I have the discipline needed to focus and make it work? That is yet to be determined.

imageIn response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Right to Brag.”

This brag is nothing grand or spectacular. This woman didn’t save a life, win an award or do anything of particular note. However for someone that has allowed divorce and depression to lock her away in a dark place of fear and sadness where she might never find freedom, these choices say there is hope. What did she do?

She signed up for a sewing class and made a pillow. And she has two more classes where she will create a messenger bag. She found, was approved and accepted into an intensive outpatient program for people with depression/anxiety issues which meets three times a week for three hours and last but certainly not least, she agreed to a social evening out with her daughter and son-in-law. It wasn’t a quiet evening because that would have been simple but it was a fall festival with their church. It was held in the country at a member’s home. There were babies and children everywhere. There were trees, lots of land, great barbecue and a beautiful sunset.

For someone who has always been social and a doer, to be trapped in a world of depression, sadness and anxiety the past few years has been a living nightmare. So these small but significant steps are leading her to be an active member of the world again.

Right to Brag?

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Ready for Your Close-up.”

movie

   I’ve thought about this prompt for a while. It isn’t an easy challenge because I have to decide which part of my life I’d like to make into a movie. Should I choose the early years which I can’t remember and how would a screenwriter get it right? Do I choose my turbulent teens years? No, that would just be another movie about a girl (me) being the target of mean girls. That’s already been done. Do I choose all 30 years of my marriage? No, that would be too long. So in the end I would make a movie of the last ten years of my life. Those were the most challenging, heartbreaking and ultimately rewarding.

  Casting is a challenge because the actors I would choose don’t necessarily meet the correct age requirements but since this is a fantasy movie, I figure I have leeway and can imagine the actors at the appropriate ages for the part.

A slightly older Keri Russell would be me. She has fabulous curly hair which she embraces. I have never been able to embrace my curly hair and would love to see me played by someone who does. She also has the ability to play a loving, creative and happy woman with a strong, resilient side.

Ron Howard would be my husband ex-husband. He would have to a play a character with a dual personality. He would be the nice guy next door with a dark and nasty secret that ultimately destroys his family.

A young Maggie Gyllenhaal would be my oldest daughter. She looks so much like my daughter many people have asked if she is actually Maggie G. Maggie is very talented, has a fabulous smile, is a great actress and has a happy adult life. All which describe my daughter.

A young Kirsten Dunst would be my younger daughter. My younger daughter looks a lot like Kirsten, has an infectious smile, a serious side and a streak of independence.

Toby McGuire would play my son-in-law. He has such incredible talent and so does my son-in-law. He can do anything he sets his mind to so an actor of great versatility would be needed. Toby has played a superhero to a drive jockey who suffered abuse. He would be able to capture the uniqueness of my son-in-law.

Stephen King would have to write the story because he has a way of weaving a tale of normalcy which is laced with intrigue and horror because that is exactly what the last ten years of my life have been. On the surface my life appeared happy and normal but there were secrets. These secrets were nasty, dirty and life altering. A nice, loving suburban family was the chosen hiding place for a psychopathic narcissist. And when the truth comes out, our world explodes and it is only through love that the three remaining survive.

It would need an incredible soundtrack because music evokes emotion and sets the tone. I think a soundtrack of music from the time period would be best interspersed with original music. My oldest daughter would sing the original signature song and my younger daughter would be the costume designer.

And ultimately it would be a blockbuster movie because the audience would see elements of their own lives in the characters and story.

Ready for My Close-up