In a place I don’t belong
In a life I don’t want
In an endless circle
There is no way out
Love sings a song, melodic and sweet
Begins as a chant, in unison, in rythmn
Accelerando as life quickens and blooms
As the years go by settled into adagio
Unexpected atonal life, no specific tone or key
Chaos, madness life with castrato husband
Dissonance ensues, grave, drone, because life isn’t an operetta
Toneless life finds Forte, timbre and theme
Hearing an overture to a new life
Finding a key signature
Dynamics changing adagio again
Time for Modulation, legato
Develop a motif and resonance
Into a hymn of life
God is the conductor of the song
Of my song
Wandering in a new place, a new school
Struggling to find her way
A name no one knows
You’re not Lisa, Michelle, Karen or Kim
Then I discovered you in Mythological stories of Greek gods and nymphs
You are a nymph loved by Apollo
He promises to care for you forever
Now no I’m longer the girl with the strange name
I’m a beautiful Greek nymph loved by Apollo the ideal of all a Greek man should be
And my beloved you saved me
When I look into the mirror who do I see?
Who is that woman looking at me?
Is it the girl who had big daydreams,
Of love, adventure and French sunbeams?
Is it the teenager who doubted every decision she made?
The insecure girl who found herself betrayed?
Is it the young woman in love and ready to embark on life?
Or the woman whose husband sliced her heart with a knife?
Is it the mother blessed with two compassionate girls
Who has the love from two of God’s precious pearls?
Is it the woman who is past her prime?
Watching the clock and hearing the tick tock of time?
Or is it the woman who has fought and struggled to reclaim her life?
Learning new lessons, knowledge and how to deal with strife?
One image placed upon another to reflect not just one woman’s soul
But a blending of each reflection so she can learn she’s not broken but whole.
Brought about by a cloudy day
A moment caught but once in a lifetime
A lifetime caught in that moment
Spellbound by a kiss
Lives slowly braided together one experience at a time
Strands of love added one child at a time
Life is magic
Simple moments linked together by the magic of love
The magic of life
To walk to the edge
Of the darkness
To try and see what lies beyond
Taking one step
One step over
Released from hurt
Never to come back
I went slightly over but I can never remember if one and two letter words count towards the total.
56 years of living a lie
Believing without questioning
You’re not enough
You won’t win
You prove how smart you are
You will do something and I will leave
No longer seeing your reflection
The spark, the joy smothered by words
Someone takes your hand at 56 years
They wipe away the hurt, the emptiness
They plant the seed of belief
Belief that you are enough
Belief you will win
Belief you are worthy of love
Belief you will never be abandoned
Belief in tomorrow
I have spoken too many times in my life without thinking about the damage my words would do. And sadly it is a learned behavior because hurtful words still resonate in my soul.
Speaking without thinking
Thinking without speaking
Hurtful words spewed
Cutting to the bone
Driving through the soul
Never to be undone
Regret and sorrow
I want to eat my words
I want them back
I want to repair hearts
I want my soul healed
I write because my head is full of words
I write because my head is full of dreams
I write because my head is full of ideas
I write because I have a voice
a voice unheard
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