Tag: blogging101

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Long lasting effects of Abuse

Posted on by Dede

wisteria1

   The blogging assignment today was to add a widget, change your header etc. In some way we were to personalize our blog. I changed my header. It doesn’t show as much as I’d like but I could not get it sized right, so I posted it above. It is a photo I took several years ago in Paris. It is still one of my favorite pictures. I still find it difficult to believe that I had to beg my ex-husband to meet his French aunt and American uncle in the south of France. It took me several years to convince him to go. Now he flies the 777 internationally and goes to Paris all the time. I will admit it is a thorn in my side. He always wanted to go only to beaches or lakes. I was the one that wanted to explore the world. Now he is the world explorer and I am left to struggle to make ends meet.

    I have promised myself I will not make this blog just a b*tich fest. I did suffer from narcissistic abuse (30 years) and it has very long-lasting effects. Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome  If you are depressed, unhappy, have low self-esteem etc and can’t really figure out why, I suggest you follow the link and read. I’ve been through countless counselors seeking help. Now that I know what the problem is, I am hoping this new counselor will actually help me get better.

   From this point forward I will share happier thoughts and ideas on how I try to actively explore the world around me even if it’s just a few miles away.

Posted in New life

A Perfect Example of Where

Posted on by Dede

 
Here is a perfect example of a time when I feel the need to write but I am not near my computer. I’m having breakfast at Chick-Fil-A. For those of you unfamiliar with this fast food restaurant let’s say a day doesn’t go by that there isn’t a double loop of cars waiting for the drive thru and inside you can scarcely move for people.

But back to writing, I’m using my phone. Why do I feel the need to write this morning? Because I am being forced to accept a life change that I never wanted. Even after almost 3 years, I go to sleep thinking it is a bad dream and when I wake up it’ll be over. But every morning I wake up to find that I am still alone and struggling to find meaning and purpose in my life.

I have a job interview today for a job I do not want. Why am I going? Because in the 3 years I’ve been searching it is only the 3rd company that has offered me an interview. It’s a retail job so the pay and hours suck. I will be on my feet everyday and honestly don’t know if physically I can do that. Then I shake myself back into reality and tell myself to suck it up. I know I’m blessed in many ways and give thanks daily. However when you fight serious, deep hole depression to compare how good I have it to others only lays on the guilt and makes the depression worse.

And in the core of my being, I know God has a plan but like Job I wonder how long He will keep me in this struggle. When will He think I’ve learned what He wants me to know? I hope it’s soon because I feel myself losing ground inch by inch everyday.

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Tweet Response

Posted on by Dede

     I have no idea if I added the twitter link correctly, so I copied and pasted the actual tweet into my blog. I went to a meetup group tonight. If you don’t know what a meetup group is you can find out by going to http://www.meetup.com  It is a place where you can find people in your area with similar interests. There is a wide variety of choices, so there is something for everyone. I went to a writing prompt group. There were just 3 of us which made it much less intimidating for a first time visitor.

    The group leader gave us our first prompt. He used story dice. I got an eyeball and a man thinking. The tweet above was definitely true for me tonight. How do you begin a story based on an eyeball and a man thinking? Each of us got different things. I definitely had the worst roll. From where would the words come? Should I even be there? Could I really write something someone would want to read?

   As I watched the other people write when we began our second prompt, lines from a song, I was amazed at how quickly they could put their words to paper. And then when they read them, they were so good, so creative. My story sounded like something an 8th grader would turn in for a creative writing project. Would my writing every mature?

   Our last prompt was a collage of photos. We could write something in general about all of the photos in our collage or we could select just one photo. I wrote about one photo and when the young woman next to me read her story, I was blown away. She had chosen to focus on the fact almost all of her photos had blue in them. Where do people get such creative ideas?

   So I agree with the tweet. It seems that writing comes so easily for other authors. Their stories, their blogs, their books all seem effortless. My stuff reads heavy, like a bag of trash someone has to drag behind them. When will the words mature and the story come?

http://wordpress.us8.list-manage.com/track/click?u=4471f40dba4ec0e34130a91a5&id=c0fb3b8c83&e=ad7a55d8b8

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New Theme

Posted on by Dede

I tried several themes, all free. I have paid for a theme in the past and then abandoned my blog. I don’t mind paying but want to make sure that I am not going to abandon my blog this time. The most difficult thing for me is to get my own photos sized correctly so they look right in the header. I have another photo I’d prefer to use but can’t see to get it just right.

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Only One Way?

Posted on by Dede

map

  Maps. Directions. Roads. Lost. GPS, yes, GPS. Living in a new city my GPS has become my new best friend. I have never had a good sense of direction. When I was 14 years old, my family was driving from our home in Las Vegas to Disneyland. With my map reading skills, we ended up outside of San Diego. That is NOT close to Disneyland.

  One of the first things I did when I moved to Austin was to buy a map. It is large and I stand and look at it, trying to get an idea of where I am located in reference to where I am going. Studying the map, I determine there are endless ways to reach my destination. When I plug-in the address to my GPS, it even gives me options. It is up to me to decide which route to take.

  Of course our route can be interrupted by road work, an accident, one way streets etc. So we are forced to find another way to our final destination. GPS of course makes it simple. But when there were only maps ,no GPS,  and I would get lost, I had to pull over to the side of the road and study the map to find a new route.

   That is my life right now. I am pulled over to the side of the road studying it and trying to find a new path, a new direction to reach my destination. What is my destination? A life with purpose and lived with passion. Prior to my divorce, I was on a one way road and believed the life I was living was the only way to experience happiness. Since my divorce, I have slowly discovered that there are endless paths to living a new purposeful life. Just like when the GPS gives me a choice of routes, it is up to me to select which road I will take now because joy, purpose and passion lie just around the bend.

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Exploring Life 101

Posted on by Dede

   Blogging 101 assignment: Identify my audience. Hmm, even though I’ve had blogs before, I have never considered the possibility I would actually have an audience. So this is an intriguing assignment. We were told to add media, try new styles etc to keep the reader interested. So I thought maybe learning a little more about me and where I am going with my life might help me connect with similar bloggers and people. 

me2015IMG_1180 Me now and me a million years ago.

       There are several things I typically tell people about myself when asked for the most unique or unusual thing about my life. I was on a national pageant representing Nevada. I was on a national TV game show. I was interviewed for the CBS evening news with Dan Rather. Those facts typically create quite a few questions. If you are interested in any of it, leave a question in the comment section of my blog.

   At the age of 40, I spent a week trying to improve my French in Roanne, France. It was beautiful and fun, but my language skills were still poor. Then at age 54, nine months after my divorce, I went to Tours, France. I spent 3 months doing my best to improve my French. Again it was a lovely time, but I have come to the conclusion my French speaking skills aren’t going to progress past advance beginner. Below are photos from my time in Tours. Yes that is a photo of a snake. I found it in my bathroom. Again if you want more information, leave a question in the comments.

. snake IMG_1206tours1tourschristmas

   I have lived in several states, but have spent the past 30.5 years living in Texas with 30 of those being in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. I moved to Austin in June to try to find a new life path. Austin is completely 180 degrees different than Dallas. It is down to earth, eco-friendly, creative and hilly with lots of trees. Dallas is flat, superficial, (who has the biggest house, diamond, boobs etc), not eco-friendly and has just recently become friendlier to the creative arts.

   I have no idea what the future holds. I have been unemployed for over 2 years now and just learned I didn’t get the job I wanted. So I am still seeking a new purpose. I am no longer someone’s wife. And while I am still the mother of 2 incredible young women, they have successfully gone on to live their own lives. Purpose. I think that is what most of us want. We just want to have a purpose and be loved. It doesn’t matter whether it’s here or halfway around the world in some remote village, we all seek those things.

   I have no idea who my audience might be. I am hoping people who are want to explore life either on a new path or an old path will be my blog followers.

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Write a List

Posted on by Dede

list

  Writing Assignment #2: Write a list: Things I’ve learned in 55 years

  1. Life always brings the unexpected
  2. Sometimes those unexpected things are great
  3. Sometimes those unexpected things come close to destroying your life
  4. If you eat too much and move too little, you will get fat
  5. Every place has something offer, no city, state or country has a corner on the best place
  6. Not every person has something to offer.
  7. Psychopaths do exist and they will comfortably and happily without remorse destroy you if you don’t recognize them. http://www.psychopathfree.com
  8. It’s never too late to learn new things but if it’s a language, begin as young as possible
  9. Daughters will continually surprise and amaze you
  10. Just because someone has been your friend for over 25 years doesn’t mean she will be there when you need her
  11. Books are the greatest invention because they allow you to go anywhere with anyone
  12. People today want the same things that people throughout history have wanted: love, happy and healthy children, financial security, friendship, community, happiness, good health, peace
  13. Driving through west Texas is a long and boring trip
  14. You only get out of life what you put in
  15. Nothing changes if you don’t change anything
  16. Words change meaning when spoken according to tone and intonation of the speaker.
  17. It’s always good to have an alternative life plan
  18. Pets always love you and never judge you
  19. Day go by slowly but the years fly by
  20. The only constant in life is change
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My other blogs

Posted on by Dede

I forgot to add links to my other blogs. I tend to start a blog and forget to write. Check them out and let me know what you think. The first is based on the character Demelza from the Poldark book series and the second in a book review site.

http://livinglikedemelza.com

http:/www.daphnesbooklist.wordpress.com

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Blogging 101

Posted on by Dede

Prompt 1: Who I am and why I’m here

me2015

I am an ordinary woman who has been through some experiences that are anything but ordinary. Some of them have been great and others have been challenging to the point that I didn’t think I would survive. I have chosen to blog publicly because I hope that my experiences might help others get through times that are anything but easy. I also hope to connect to others who have ideas and encouragement which will help me to continue to move forward from a life unexpected.  I have had blogs before and ended up deleting them because I found myself just venting which I decided was best left to a private journal. I currently have two other blogs. One is a book review blog, because I love to read and the other is based on life lessons I am learning from one specific character from a book series.

A few more specifics concerning who I am. I am about to celebrate my 56th birthday. My life looks nothing like I expected. I am divorced and currently unemployed. It seems 30 years of stay-at-home wife and mom work doesn’t make for an easily employed future. I was determined though not to live my married life in expectation of divorce. Had I done so, I would have been much more prepared for the life I currently live. I love to travel and learn new things. In my alternate universe I am a successful writer.