Tag: love

Posted in life

Well Done

Posted on by Dede

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

Dede,

Well done. You have a good life. 100 years is a milestone but it is not necessarily the end. I know you and expect that you have plans for the future.

Your love of learning has always been one of your strongest characteristics. What are you learning now?

Your heart is full of love for your daughters, sons-in-laws, grandchildren and your new great-grandchildren. You’ve left a legacy of God loving family members. They love you and love to learn as you do.

When the time comes to say goodbye to this world and see God face to face you can be comforted knowing He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

*photo of my great grandmother

Posted in life

Time to say Goodbye

Posted on by Dede

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

Friends for 50 years

It’s never easy to say goodbye. I had been friends with the woman in the photo for 50 years. We went to high school together. We were bridesmaids in each other’s wedding. Even though I moved away 43 years ago, I saw her every time I returned home. She also made efforts to come and see me, which I greatly appreciated. I thought we’d be friends until the grave but sometimes you must say goodbye.

She is a very thoughtful and generous person. However, never did she take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was always someone else’s fault. Her unhappy life was caused by other people and mostly because she valued money above all else.

The last straw came when I sent her a video about what I wanted for my life. A woman near 90 was talking about close relationships with people being the most important thing in life, not stuff. I had been talking to her for several years about purging and getting rid of my stuff.

She responded angrily listing the things I had recently spent money on (used furniture) and even things I had while married and no longer have. She was never happy for me. I decided then and there, I couldn’t be her friend anymore. I was tired of a pity party that had lasted 50 years.

And while it broke my heart, I felt a burden lift. For so long I had tried to be a good sounding board but didn’t realize until I walked away how much it had brought me down.

Saying goodbye to a 50 year friendship wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

Posted in life

Proximity

Posted on by Dede

Who are your favorite people to be around?

I’d love to live by family but my family is spread out across the U.S. It always seems hectic and emotional when I’m near my family.

On a regular basis my favorite people to be around are the three children I care for daily. The oldest is a 10.5 yr old boy. The middle child is a 8 yr old boy and the youngest is a 5 yr old girl. I’ve cared for them since the eldest was 16 months old. They are my surrogate grandkids.

Each weekday I am guaranteed hugs and a good story and laughter. They remind me to be a better person. I was on a frustrating phone call recently. When it was over, the oldest came out and said, “Mimi you were rude to that person on the phone. You shouldn’t be so rude.” My response was you are absolutely right. I am so sorry I was rude.

They remind me that even the smallest kindness can change someone’s day.

So they are my favorite people to be around.

Posted in life

Biography Title

Posted on by Dede

If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?

The Olin Mills Portrait I won on Hollywood Squares.

Life on an unexpected Path

This is the title of my blog and certainly would be the title of a biography. Why? Because while some people live relatively uneventful lives, not boring lives or not good lives, just lives that head in one direction, my life has not been like that.

Moving from the south to the north and going to 5 schools in 2.5 years, going through culture shock was not pleasant. Then a move to the west was another adjustment. We were not poor but we lived in a very wealthy school district. My friend’s dad used to rent a private plane to fly them to Aspen to ski. We lived in a suburb of Denver. They had a maid and a giant house. Again I went to 5 schools in 2.5 years.

The final move of my adolescence was to Las Vegas. Again culture shock, so different from Denver. Hot and dry, slot machines at the grocery store, obviously different style of clothes, not a pair of hiking boots in school and kids from all sorts of different places made this again a difficult adjustment. Every time I struggled to make friends, only to have to make new ones all over again. Now making friends is so difficult.

It wasn’t all bad. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and competed in the National Pageant. Bob Hope was the emcee and it was on national tv. I had a cancer scare at 20. I worked full time while I went to college full time. Hollywood Squares started filming at The Rivera Hotel and my mother said to me, “You think you’re so smart, prove it. Go audition.” That was the summer of 1980. I got the call in December asking me to be a contestant. At this time Hollywood Squares gave away prizes and not cash. I played 3 games and won all 3 games. My opponent was Rick Presley from Corpus Christi, Texas. I also won the large prize package since I won the most games. In 1980 it was valued at $12,000. Today it would be valued at $47,000. I still have one of the prizes I won. That great high was followed by a broken heart.

Met my ex on a blind date and had a letter writing long distance courtship. Married after only 12 days of actually being together, followed by another move to Iowa and then one to Texas.

I won’t go on. I know millions of people have had more difficult lives but when you are in the middle of change or a challenge it can seem overwhelming. Maybe someday I’ll actually write an autobiography about how to survive and thrive when life gives you many detours.

Life on an Unexpected Path.

Posted in life

Most ideal day

Posted on by Dede

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

My most ideal day would have my daughters, son-in-law and 2 grandchildren with me walking the streets of Paris.

Posted in life

Seasons of Life

Posted on by Dede

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

Top l to r 5 yrs – 22 yrs bottom l to r 65yrs – 46 yrs

Significant events always make me stop and I either take joy in what my life has been or I lament over what my life hasn’t been.

I often think of the song from the musical Rent, Seasons of Love. 525,600 minutes each year. They are deposited in our bank of time and once it’s spent there are no more deposits until Jan 1 of the following year. Once a moment has happened it is gone forever.

Seasons of Love is exactly how I view my life. The love of great-grandparents who shared their garden and help make many wonderful memories. The pain of leaving friends behind when your family moves. The love of a first boyfriend, a most exciting time, which holds such sweet memories. Followed by marriage and the happiness that immediately follows but doesn’t necessarily last.

The season of motherly love for your children. It’s best expressed by this “ having children is like watching your heart walk around in the world.”

Then the shift from a hands-on mother to a behind the scene mother to adult children. They don’t need you often but you’re always there if they do need you.

Then the heartbreak of the love you thought would last forever when it didn’t. Learning to love your new life and succeeding.

A son-in-law and grandkids arrive and love grows exponentially.

Introduce bonus grandkids and now my heart nearly fits inside my chest.

So my life is broken down into Seasons of Love.

And as I age, taking joy in one day is so important. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed and yesterday is gone and won’t return. Today is the most important time.

Posted in life

Retire

Posted on by Dede

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I am scared to retire. Not having an earned income scares me. I have enough money to retire but it still scares me to retire. Would I have a purpose? How would I fill my days? Who would hug me and tell me they love me? (I am a nanny to 3 wonderful children). What if the stock market crashes? Would my depression return? Would the kids forget who I am?

If I win a massive amount of money which gave me the freedom to do anything I wanted, I would consider retiring but I couldn’t guarantee I would.

Posted in Dreaming, Experience, Faith, friends, friendship, God, life, love, seasons, Uncategorized

Surprise blessing

Posted on by Dede
Luxury Gift Basket

Recently, I went to a preschool Christmas concert and their parents’s group was having a raffle to raise money. I could get five tickets for $20 and it was for a good cause. I never expected to win anything. Someone right after me bought 60 tickets so I figured my five wouldn’t win. There were 3 incredible raffle choices.

Imagine my surprise when I got a phone call Wednesday morning informing me, I had won the luxury basket worth over $1000. So many wonderful items like a Lola blanket, a skylight calendar, a hatch restore, a diffuser, a spa gift certificate, a car detailing gift certificate and more.

I’ll be honest I had to look up what a skylight calendar and a hatch restore was because I didn’t know.

What surprised me the most is how many people told me they were so glad I won. They thought I really deserved it. I was overwhelmed by their generous and kind thoughts.

I haven’t really been pampered in a very long time. Oh there is the random pedicure and even more random manicure but massages, face treatments, getting my car detailed, I just can’t afford to do those things anymore. So to be showered with so many wonderful luxurious items is an unexpected blessing.

It’s a wonderful way to end the year 2025 and a really great way to begin 2026.

Posted in life

66 comes quickly

Posted on by Dede

I am not sure how many people will recognize Mr. Bob Hope in the photo, but that is me at 17 years old. I was Miss Teenage Nevada and at the national pageant. It was a wonderful experience. The show was televised but I have never seen it. In 1976 there were no VCRs or DVRs to record a show. I’ve searched the internet for it but so far no luck.

This morning I was no longer 65. Today I am 66. It is always surreal to me when I have a birthday. Why? Because I can quite never figure out how I ended up this old or young depending on your perspective. Having no idea what 66 is supposed to look like or feel like, it will be interesting to discover the answers.

As of now, I still work full-time. Retirement is a possibility but for now I want to work. I enjoy caring for the children whose parents are doctors. I look forward to seeing them each morning. And isn’t that what life is all about, waking up in the morning and looking forward to the day? My life isn’t a whirlwind of travel or life in a second home, but I like my life. It may not be the one I thought I would have when I was 40 or 50 but it’s a good life. It is a peaceful life not just in my daily activities but inside my heart. I feel a deep peace and contentment.

Happy Birthday to Me. May my 66th year be my best yet.

Posted in life

How did I end up at a Soccer field

Posted on by Dede
Soccer Saturday

As my girls were growing up we tried different sports. As it turned out they were more interested in music and the arts. So unlike my sister, I never spent my Saturdays at the soccer field. And I was always thankful I didn’t have to sit outside in the cold weather or the unbelievably hot weather we get in Texas.

I love my grandchildren however they live 1,640 miles away. Attending their sporting events or school events is not possible for me. It makes me sad but God has provided me with surrogate grandchildren, three to be exact. The two oldest A and O have begun to play soccer. So I find myself taking the boys to practice and staying until their parent(s) arrive.

The boys asked me to attend their games and I couldn’t turn them down. It touches my heart as I see their big grins when they realize I’ve arrived. Turns out I am a loud cheerleader!! Yelling run, get that ball, go fast etc as they play. With my camera in tow, I’ve begun taking photos and found it to be rewarding. Reminds me to use my camera more often.

So while I may have never been a “soccer mom”, I am now a full fledged “soccer Mimi”.

Posted in life

Never too late!

Posted on by Dede

In middle school we had to choose a language to study. My friends chose German and Spanish. Wanting to be different, I chose French. My learning has been disjointed over the years due to moves, marriage, children, life in general but I’ve never given up. Although I’ve never surpassed advance beginner, I’m still at it.

So as a gift to myself I have begun private French lessons via the internet. I found Speak like a Parisian on Instagram. The instructor is a native speaker and is around my age. I knew I didn’t want a young teacher. Why? Learning a language is difficult and the older you get the harder it becomes. I wanted someone who might have shared similar experiences and was at similar life stage. It makes conversation flow easier.

So if there is something you’ve always wanted to do, it’s never too late to begin. I remember Dear Abby responding to this question:

I’ve always wanted to be a doctor but I’m 35 and it’ll take 10 years. What should I do? Her response was How old will you be in 10 years if you don’t become a doctor?

Posted in life

Hidden message in Frozen?

Posted on by Dede

Frozen is a successful animated movie focusing on 2 sisters. I know Elsa took the world by storm and everyone loves her. But I love Anna because it’s through her we see an example of Christ like love.

Anna, has had a life of being rejected by Elsa with no idea why. While Elsa is aware of why she has shut herself away, she leaves Anna to mourn the loss of their parents alone and to grow up alone with no explanation. Elsa made a choice which altered Anna’s life.

Elsa was bitter that she had this ice power. She was angry and she was scared. Did she choose to ask her sister for help? Or did she choose to hide from her fear.

When Elsa finally comes out of hiding, her sister, Anna could have been angry for being abandoned and ignored by her sister, but she wasn’t. Just like God welcoming a sinner to faith, Anna welcomes her sister with unconditional acceptance and love. In fact she is overjoyed but Elsa continues to focus on herself and her fears.

Then when Elsa loses control she doesn’t ask for help. She RUNS away. Don’t most of us want to run away in the midst of a struggle? Some of us do run but some of us are like Anna, who in my mind is the real heroine and star of the show.

Anna isn’t upset Elsa has powers to freeze. She’s upset because her sister chose to run away and not face it together. And does Anna say good riddance, my sister left me to grieve alone, grow up alone with no explanation and now leaves me again? No. Anna puts her own safety aside and goes in pursuit of her sister, Elsa.

Anna fights the elements which includes massive amounts of snow, high mountains, wild wolves, a harrowing sleigh ride, frozen clothing and a quirky man. She realizes she can’t rescue Elsa alone. Anna asks for help. Anna doesn’t give up and return home. She fights on for her sister even though Elsa gave Anna a fatal blow which even the trolls can’t heal. Anna’s heart is frozen by Elsa.

Elsa doesn’t return of her own accord. She ends up imprisoned again putting Anna’s life at risk because she refused to come home. Even as Anna is dying, she stands between her sister and death so Elsa could live. In the end Anna is frozen and it isn’t until that moment, Elsa recognizes the sacrifice Her sister has made. Love breaks through and saves not just Anna but Elsa too.

Isn’t that like our relationship with God? We hide. We run. We try and cover up our sins. We refuse to accept responsibility for our actions. We don’t want to face consequences. God like Anna doesn’t refuse us or turn us away but He pursues us. He pursues us with a relentless love. And ultimately sacrifices His own son, Jesus so we can live. It’s an unconditional love. Anna loved Elsa unconditionally giving her life so her sister could live. Who knew theology could be found in Frozen?

Posted in life

Blue Haired Ladies

Posted on by Dede

Depending on how old you are, you might remember the ladies with blue hair. Typically they were older, had gray or silver hair and they used a hair rinse which was intended to enhance their hair color.

But it always seemed to turn their hair a light shade of blue. Sometimes the light had to be just right to see the blue, but it was there.

Now that I’ve decided to go to my natural color (silver, gray and white), I wanted to get a jump on the blue hair. I’ve had gray hair since my twenties, white hair beginning in my forties. Now in my late fifties, I’m gonna give the natural look a try.

So power to the blue haired ladies. I’m coming to join you.

Posted in Jesus

The love of a child

Posted on by Dede

I am a very blessed woman. At a time when I thought God didn’t hear my prayers, He was busy placing me where I needed to be. What I thought was a set back, a punishment turned out to be an answer to my prayer.

Unemployed after a heartbreaking divorce, wondering how much longer my money would last and feeling completely worthless and purposeless, my daughter asked me if I wanted to babysit a little boy 2 days a week. I said yes and that was the moment my heart began to heal.

He loved me from the moment I became one of his caregivers. When my daughter had her own baby, I became his full-time caregiver. A day doesn’t pass that he doesn’t hug me or tells me that he loves me. It genuine love. There are no hidden agendas. It’s simple. He needs me and I need him.

He became a big brother last year and I now have the pleasure of keeping him and his brother. While it’s not as easy at 58 as it was at 28, it still makes my heart swell with joy knowing I’m needed and loved.

So I’m slowly learning after a lifetime, God doesn’t always answer my prayers with a yes or no. Sometimes He says, I’ve got a better idea.

Posted in God, life, Uncategorized

Second Chances

Posted on by Dede

God has taken my life down a path I never imagined. This path has been a very bumpy ride but it has brought me a deeper faith and given me an opportunity I never thought I would have.

As a young mother I did my best to be a good mom and make memories with my daughters. Of course as life teaches us hindsight is 20/20 and I can now look back and see many times I was too busy just to enjoy my daughters. So I can’t even begin to express my gratitude to God for bringing me to this place in my life.

I now work 50+ hours a week as a nanny but while I’m paid I don’t feel like a nanny. In fact that the oldest renamed me Mimi. The two boys I watch are like grandsons to me. (Top 2 photos). And to make this blessing even grander, my own daughter and son-in-law gave me a grandson in June. (Bottom photo). I get to spend my time with these three precious boys and I have the wisdom to know just to enjoy the moments and not stress out over little things. My life is overflowing with love.

I wouldn’t have picked or imagined this life for myself which is why I am so thankful God knows best because it’s been many years since I’ve been this happy and had this much peace.

Wishing you Joy and love this Christmas and every day in 2018.

Posted in life

Someone else’s life

Posted on by Dede

Have you ever had a time when you thought to yourself, I am living someone else’s life. This isn’t my life. It must belong to some other person because in my life I am not alone and struggling. I’m not living in a nondescript town with no friends and no life. In my life I’m not working 50 plus hours a week with no health insurance. This black and white life with no color, can’t be my life.

My life is supposed to be colorful, full of friends, family and experiences. I’m supposed to be living in a quaint town with lots of history and four seasons. In my real life I have a circle of close friends who are there for me and I for them. My life is full of travel opportunities and chances to learn and experience new things. I have a home which is always open to friends and family. I give my time and talents to my church and those in need. I don’t work 50 hours a week. I don’t worry about getting sick because I have health insurance. And I don’t get lonely because I have a loving and caring husband. That is my life or I should say the life I imagined I would have.

Then I wake up and realize my real life is what I first described.

Posted in daughters, depression

Lost in Failure

Posted on by Dede

Why do I keep failing?  Why do we share different memories? Why do we fail to understand how our words and actions hurt those we love? Why am I invisible? Never to be fully seen? Why do rub those I love the wrong way? Why do I feel so unloved and so unnecessary? Like a fly swatted away? A nuisance and nothing more? Why do the two people I love most in the world fail to understand how much I need them and their encouragement and to know they have good memories they made with me?

The darkness is coming for me again. 

Posted in Faith, love, Uncategorized

I’m in Love

Posted on by Dede

Yes it’s true. I’ve fallen head over heals in love. He stole my heart the first time I met him and now I get to spend two days a week with him. Who is he? He is the 16 month old son of two doctors, who I will call APL. It’s been a long time since I’ve spent time with a toddler. They have a lot of energy but they also have an infinite amount of love to give.

Observing him as he explores the world and the way it works, is fascinating. I can see his brain working. And when he laughs and smiles at me, I’m filled with joy and happiness. And it is a blessing to be able to care for him. I’d love to post a photo, but since he isn’t my son, I won’t.

Posted in daughters, Experience, family, life, love, Uncategorized

Freedom for those we love

Posted on by Dede


“We have to live our own lives. We have to give freedom to those we love.” Ross Poldark in Angry Tide by Winston Graham

Ross makes this comment as he and his wife leave their children behind as they head to London. Demelza is sad upon leaving the children at home and Ross reminds her that before she knows it the children will be leaving her.

As a parent we all must face the moment when we know our children are adults and independent. It’s bittersweet because you want them to grow up, live their lives and be happy but you will forever miss your babies. I think that is one reason as a parent it is sometimes difficult to step back when they are adults and let them find their way. In our eyes they are still our babies. As a mother there is always this overwhelming desire you fight to keep them children.

I always knew my children would grow up and go out on their own, making their way in the world. What I never thought about was the first statement Ross makes. We have to live our own lives. I forgot in those years as a mother and wife I needed to make a life of my own separate from them. It is even more true now that I am divorced. I never thought about being anyone other than a wife and mother. It is much more challenging than I anticipated to find my own way in the world. I feel like the one who has had adulthood thrust upon her unexpectedly.

I know my passion but the question is can I make a living? Can I support myself? Do I have the discipline needed to focus and make it work? That is yet to be determined

Posted in depression, Faith, Health, Uncategorized

Reflection

Posted on by Dede

Have you ever caught a glimpse of a reflection in a mirror and wonder who it was only to realize you were looking at yourself? That happened to me today. I didn’t like what I saw. How had I completely stopped taking care of myself? There was no evidence of joy. I looked unhealthy and sad. I have allowed almost four years of my life to be wasted. Wasted in depression and sorrow over a toxic relationship.

I think it’s taken all of this time to shake free of the torment and hold my ex had over me. He had trained me never to trust my own decisions and choices. He convinced me no one would ever want me and I’d never get a job. And guess what? I let those lies determine how I spent my time, but no more.

Depression is an ongoing battle which I don’t think is ever cured. It’s more like a disease in remission or an ugly monster which is locked away but manages to rear its ugly head every now and then. So I do anticipate having to continue this battle but I know I will ultimately win the war and find joy and contentment.