Posted in divorce, Faith, family, life, Uncategorized

10 years

My life has changed in major ways in the last 10 years. I became an empty nester, a mother-in-law, and a divorcée. I’ve been a hospital patient, a surgical patient and have become a woman whose childbearing days are over.  I’ve moved six times and filled out thousands of job applications. I’ve lost my father, watched a family member fight a rare type of cancer twice and win and I have learned someone else I love is fighting cancer. I’ve fought depression at every turn. I’ve seen my daughters’ father and his family treat them as though they never existed and I’ve watched them persevere through it becoming better women because of it. It has been a crazy and an emotionally and physically challenging 10 years. I’ve experienced some highs, my daughter’s marriage, my youngest college graduation, my oldest getting a master degree. I watched my son-in-law take the Hippocratic oath and become a doctor. I saw my youngest brave a year living abroad. I’ve also experienced the worst years of my life in the last ten years. 

They say nothing in life is guaranteed. I’d disagree. You can always be guaranteed life will not stay the same. There will be periods of highs and lows with lots of nothing much happening times. I know I am ready for a change in my life. It’s as though I can feel it coming. I just pray it’s a change for the good.

Posted in Blogging, communication, depression, Experience, friendship, Learning, life, Uncategorized

Why I chose to not be on Facebook


Some of you might be asking why? Saying to yourself it’s the way I keep up with my friends. How would I know what’s going on in their lives? My response is simple, Facebook is impersonal. It’s information at a distance. It’s like standing and peering through a telescope at a scenic view. You can see it better but not truly experience it because you are too far away. 

Friendship, true friendship is about connection. Connection through a phone call, a letter, a visit. What started out essentially as a site for college students to connect so they could date, has become a public brag book or a place to beg for sympathy. I’ve been guilty of both. 

Our society pits us against each other. All you have to do is spend a little time watching television. Between commercials which tell us we can out do our neighbors with the right car, better paint (yes, paint), the better body, faster car etc. and Facebook plastered with all our “friends” successes most of us come away feeling inadequate. We’ve been put on a never ending treadmill chasing meaningless things. Facebook gives power to comparison. As we all know photos can be manipulated and they do not tell the entire story. A picture is no longer worth a 1,000 words anymore. It’s only worth a I’m better than you or feel sorry for me.

Facebook gave me the ability to sit on the sidelines of life. I didn’t have to actually connect with my friends and they could feel they were being supportive by a quick comment. No need to actually pick up the phone. How does a person actually have 800 friends? I’ve have made more progress with my depression since I’ve removed Facebook from my life.

I haven’t exited social media completely. I blog. I have a Twitter and Instagram account. I just have chosen to no longer have a Facebook account.

Posted in Experience, life, love, Uncategorized

Bringing joy to many


My daughter recently portrayed Mary Poppins (The Musical) at Vive les Arts in Killeen, TX. A long running community theater (40 yrs) it provides the opportunity for both artists and theater lovers to enjoy shows locally. The show was a huge success selling out for all six shows. They went through 4,000 playbill programs.

My daughter has dreamed of performing on Broadway since she was a very young girl. While she still pursues her dream, life currently has placed her in central Texas, so Broadway has to wait. I told her today performing on Broadway would be wonderful but the gift she gives to people who will probably never have the opportunity to see a show in New York can not be measured. In a world where we’ve been inundated by violence, to see people clapping in time, cheering, laughing and leaving the theater happy and singing is priceless. 

Mary Poppins and her spoonful of sugar, anything is possible if you let it, and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious attitude is exactly the dose of medicine we need right now. So hats off to all those involved in community theater (the actors, musicians, techies, ensemble members, director, costumes, volunteers) and their timeless commitment to opening our world to new and wonderful experiences.

Posted in divorce, Experience, Faith, God, life, Uncategorized

Where do I belong?

I know I’ve asked this question before and it is redundant. I had thought I would spend my life in a suburb of DFW. I had been there for 30 years and never dreamed I’d live anywhere else. Then like so many middle aged women, my husband decided he needed a fresh start with a younger woman. So I am left with not just an emotional and financial struggle but the search for where I belong. Where is home? My children are grown and off pursuing their own lives.


There is no particular place I must live and as the little amount of money I have dwindles away, I continue to search for a way to support myself. I feel so displaced, like a fish out of water. Soon I may have little choice. It will be a very small room at my mother’s house or my car. I’d just like to find the one place which will feel like home, the place I belong.

Posted in depression, divorce, life, Uncategorized

Can loneliness and living alone shorten your lifespan?

http://archive.boston.com/dailydose/2012/06/19/can-loneliness-and-living-alone-shorten-your-lifespan/3D7VHs8i9wuLF5583cJskK/story.html

Posted in daily prompt, life, Uncategorized, WordPress

Flourish – Daily Prompt

Flourish is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary to mean: to grow or develop successfully, to move something in your hand in order to make people look at it:a big, noticeable movement.  They also have a list of related words or phrases. So many times we lock ourselves into a definition and forget it can have a broader meaning.  I think I do that with my life. I can lock myself into a life which I believe is destined to be boring, uninspiring, empty and half-lived. So using some of their related words and phrases (in blue) I will write with a flourish about my new life.

Since my divorce I am having to take a step forward in order to advance and evolve my life into something new. When I take the first step, my life  will begin to  flower  and move forward . And when my life is flourishing, I can gather my achievements and  continue to grow. It may take awhile but I will eventually have come a long way. It will take time to make headway and progress in order to regenerate and rise. But I know with certainty my new life will begin to take shape while I spread my wings. I will find my stride and live my life fully while it unfolds into a beautiful, compassionate, kind, joyous and spirit filled life.

WordPress Daily Prompt