Posted in depression, Uncategorized

Not again

Every time I get a glimmer of hope and begin to believe that things in my life are finally beginning to turn around, I am reminded to stop hoping. I had a complete breakdown yesterday because yet again someone decided I wasn’t right for the job.

I’ve stopped asking God what he is trying to teach me because I don’t care anymore. I won’t survive another rejection. The best I can do at this moment is to make it to the next moment. Nothing more, nothing less. I spent time writing my mission statement but let’s face it without a job, there is no money. And we all know money is needed for rent and food. I won’t even discuss car payment or health care.

I’m tired. My daughters want me to get better. I understand they love me. I just don’t have it in me to try anymore. The best I can offer is one day and only one day at a time.


I am always learning something new about life. My life is made richer by friends, family, travel, experiences, books and hobbies.

6 thoughts on “Not again

  1. I’ll keep praying for you and if I think of anything else I’ll let you know. I understand the depression and discouragement, and I know how hard it can be to explain to others. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry. I feel your discouragement. Are there professional groups for your field you could join? For example, when I was in public relations there was PRSA, IABC and Women in Communications in my area.. Each had monthly luncheons, which were great networking opportunities. You probably wouldn’t get immediate results and of course coming up with the money for the luncheon meeting might be a challenge if your budget is really tight, but it could be worth it in the long run! With the groups above I know Women in Communications or IABC were the more “likeable” in the city I lived in…don’t quote me on that. And frankly I have no idea if they even exist any more. Anyway, something to consider.


  3. I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. With all you are facing, I am concerned that you may be experiencing depression. I know money is tight for you – here are some sites with some resources for help with depression who don’t have health insurance: .

    It is understandable that you are struggling. Having someone to talk to can help a lot. I know it is very hard to pick up the phone and try to find some support or help – but you can do it. Reaching out for help when you need it is a sign of bravery & courage. “Head up, heart open. To better days!”


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