I turned in my notice today that I will not be renewing my lease. The tasks before me now include packing everything I own except for the basic necessities needed to travel. I also must locate a climate controlled storage unit that’s will hold everything it possible I will need two. Reserve them and make arrangement for movers. I have two months which is sufficient time if I pack everyday after work and devote my weekends to packing.
6 times now I’ve moved in four years. God clearly has decided He is not ready to stop punishing me. I no longer know what I can possibly learn from what I am experiencing nor do I see an end to it. I don’t belong anywhere with anyone. So no need to try and find home. Living on the road doesn’t seem like such a bad thing anymore. No more dreams of happiness and love. Just dreams of the open road.
4 thoughts on “Time to go”
You may be surprised
It was only after I uprooted my world that God sent me my husband. Don’t give up, believing. It is all in his time
This makes me very sad, Dede. I cannot see a loving God punishing you endlessly with no hope. How could that be love?
I’ve given up. I don’t see even a glimmer of light or hope in my future. I don’t like it either but I don’t have any fight left in me. I’m tired and years of prayer have done nothing to alleviate my suffering. I am not one of those courageous Christians. I thought I was but since learning my ex has serious and illegal sexual additions, not a single prayer has been answered. I’m suffering and he is flourishing. I don’t understand and clearly God has a purpose he doesn’t want to share with me.
I wish I could give you a hug. Know that his addictions are not your fault – AT ALL. No blaming. It will do you no good. You can go your own path and it looks like you are going there. You do have a purpose and I doubt very much that purpose is to suffer. I would venture that your writing is at least part of your purpose. Your ex will eventually suffer the natural consequences of his actions. Let that happen. I wish I could help more.