Barrier
An impediment to moving forward. Why do I feel it’s not possible to be happy and relaxed? Is it because I believe I don’t deserve to be happy? Am I not worthy of happiness? Is it I don’t know what happiness is so I don’t recognize it? I know I’ve felt and experienced happiness before but now, for the past several years beginning in 2009, my ability to be happy has eluded me.
I see other people. I can feel their joy. I can sense their satisfaction with life. They are relaxed and have fun. I feel wound up so tightly that it’s impossible to move for fear I’ll break or snap.
Is there a secret? A secret to letting go of the worry, always worried what people think of me? A secret to just enjoy the moment? I know I’ve missed so much since 2009. Time we can never reclaim. I don’t want to waste anymore moments which could possible hold joy and happiness.
My life on an unexpected path 
I can totally relate to these feelings. Even though I hate cliches, I’ve found the saying ~ ‘It is what it is.’ ~ to be so freeing. Brings me back to the present when I have those flashbacks that threaten my happiness in the here and now. 🙂
https://meinthemiddlewrites.com/
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Knowing it hard, but don’t look in the rear view mirror, look at the road it front and tell yourself I might be going up hill but I’ll get to the top and stay there.
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